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Emotionally Abusive Relationships

Emotionally abusive relationships are never really visible from the outside. However, to a keen observer, a few signs could tell the tale quite freely. If you are suffering too, this article should help you!
Relationships are basically emotional bonds that people share. This bond gives one individual certain answerability to another. Like if I were in a relationship with a man, yes, to a certain extent I would be answerable to him, and vice versa. However, this bond also gives a person certain amount of power over another. It is when a person abuses this power, that it is called an emotionally abusive relationship. The sad part about such a relationship, is that it cannot be spotted, like a physically abusive relationship can be spotted with wound marks on the victim. However, scars on the soul, mind and heart are not visible. So, how will we know if someone (we know) is a victim of emotional abuse? If one is already a victim, what should one do? Relax, take your time reading this article and perceive it with as much relevance to your life as possible.

About Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can have a lot of repercussions. Why? Because it hurts the one aspect of a human being that cannot be seen very easily; the mind. However, what exactly are the characteristics? Let's see...
  • A person using economic power to control another person.
  • Inciting and fueling the fear of abandonment in an individual.
  • Creating fear in a person's mind with the help of expression, words and gestures.
  • Indirect violence like smashing things and throwing things around.
  • Practicing control on a person by minimizing or denying desires, and blaming.
  • A person belittling another's concerns and taking them lightly.
  • A person continuously criticizing and name calling another.
  • A person being two-faced: degrading in private and charming when in company of others.
  • A person humiliating another in public or in front of company.
If a person has this behavior towards another, then, it can be said that the relationship that they share is an emotionally abusive one.

Signs of Emotional Abuse
  • The person will show distrust in their own or another person's spontaneity. They will seem extremely paranoid. More so, the moment something goes wrong they will either go hysterical or say that "I knew something was off!".
  • The abusee (as I have stated in my previous articles, this is a term I have coined for convenience) will be completely lost for enthusiasm. They might plaster on a fake smile to please everybody, but that fact is that they feel no enthusiasm. The abuser has a tendency to fizz out a person's enthusiasm and leave them pretty flat.
  • The abusee will be fairly concerned about how things are seeming to others. They will solely depend on other people's opinions about their actions.
  • The abusee will be convinced in the mind that something is wrong with them. Since, they are so used to being blamed for everything, they now believe that it is ALL their fault.
  • Emotional abusees have little or no self-confidence left. Emotional abuse includes a person being put down every step of the way. This causes them to be left will little or no self-confidence.
  • You will also notice that an abusee will be jittery whenever their opinion is asked. This is because they are otherwise not allowed to speak up, and/or emotional punished if they opine different to their partner.
  • Everybody has an inner voice, right! For most people this voice is supportive and encouraging. However, for an abusee, this voice will be very critical. They will always doubt everything they do, every step of the way.
  • Hope seems to be a very important thing for abusees. However, this hope causes them to live in the future. They will keep hoping that everything will get better soon. This causes them to get dreamy in their daily activities as well.
  • An abusee will show severe anxiety symptoms. Everything will make them angry and they will be in a constant state of stress.
  • An abusee will have a constant want or desire to run away or escape the life they are living at the time. They might even speak of escaping from the suicide point of view, which is very serious.
  • They will be distrustful of all future relationships, even if they manage to escape from an abusive relationship.
If you are noticing any of these signs or symptoms in yourself, or in someone you know, get help. Emotional abuse in relationships has a tendency to lead to suicide, or serious psychological issues if not checked in time.

An emotionally abusive relationship, just like a verbally abusive relationship should be gotten out of at the earliest. Living with an alcoholic spouse can also seem like emotional abuse, so if that is the case, get help.

It is important that you value your life more than another person's ego. Do not try to reason a lot with an emotionally abusive partner, save your soul and get out, keep distance. This is where I sign off!! All the best everybody!
By Rashida Khilawala
Published: 1/18/2010
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