When stuck in an unhappy relationship, that is probably making your life difficult to live, it's not advisable to quit, initially. Remember, you've got to give it a try. You've got to deal with the situation positively keeping the larger picture in mind. You've got to understand and know some ways on how to save your relationship. Things do work out in many cases. However, if you really see no scope for improvement, you've got to be firm enough to stand for your happiness because ultimately, happiness must be the key factor for healthy relationships. Don't be so submissive and weak that your own identity is challenged. To quote Richard Bach, 'Your only true obligation in life is to be true to yourself'..so free yourself of something that is seriously impending your growth with respect to every dimension of human life. If you're not feeling happy even after you've given your best to your partner, call an end to the troubled relationship.
Unhappiness in a Relationship: Possible Causes
Take a look at some of the most common signs of a relationship that isn't fulfilling and demands attention.
- Communication between you both have ceased to minimum possible talks, leave aside discussions on any topic. Even if either of you start anything, things end up with fights or they trigger some issues that you both hate to discuss.
- You're lost when you're with your partner. In other ways, you're physically present and emotionally withdrawn. You're there and still not there. You're not listening to your partner, you're just hearing him/her. There is a subtle difference between listening and hearing. Listening is active participation with what the person says and hearing is just letting the noise pass from one ear to the other.
- Blame games and hostile accusations have become a part of your daily routine. Healthy couples do fight and shout at each other, but that is to resolve difficulty. Unhappy couples go beyond limits and they blame each other for all problems.
- Expectations in relationships are obvious but in a problematic relationship they become a tool to target each other.
- Physical intimacy has diminished drastically. And how can it be frequent, if you both are emotionally at infinity? If emotional needs are not met, physical needs do tend to take either a more intense expression or they start subsiding, both of which are equally harmful for a relationship.
- You both spend least time together. Both of you've many reasons to remain cut off from each other.
Let's be very practical. We don't have to research the fault lines in a relationship that is giving us no happiness. Is it not that even one look of your partner says all the story? Our faces are the index of mind and I don't believe anybody else than your partner can better read it. Basically, we all know how the relationship starts developing cracks or tends towards malaise.
We ignore the signs, most of the time, hoping that one fine day, they'll become better. No doubt, some sort of compromise is an understood concept in relationships but compromising on love and sharing, the foundations of a remarkable life, must be never allowed to happen. So why not know some ways to get control of your situation, or to the worst, bid adieu to it.
Think why you are unhappy in your relationship. Find the answer to this question, don't keep thinking. One technique is to write everything you expect from your partner, everything that has been between you and him/her. Then figure out what really is missing from the love puzzle. And I'm talking about expectations related to deeper dimensions of your relationship. Not some superficial expectations that can be met in the future. Give yourself some time to think. And you must be knowing everything about your expectations with respect to your relationship.
Secondly, talk to him/her. Lack of communication is something that steps in relationships when couples start taking each other for granted. When you start "supposing" everything and not discussing with your partner, you tend to get alienated even though you may be living under the same roof and 'sharing' your life. The basic factors that make any relationship thrive are mutual trust and respect. If your relationship is lacking any of these factors, then definitely it's not possible to build your life on such negativity. If anybody is facing abusive relationship signs, then it's time to understand those signs and gather all courage and self-esteem to quit such a type of relationship.
Before getting out of everything and surrendering to the fate, you can even try counseling. Believe me, generally, the experts perspective can give a new hope to your situation. Couples those who really want to get some solution for their problems must not hesitate to seek counseling and get wonderful advice on rebuilding their lives. You don't know if it really works for you, so give it a try.
Suggesting anyone to quit a relationship is definitely a great advice but aren't relationships meant for cherishing life and not living in grudges? To emphasis more on letting extremely negative relationships let go, I would like to quote Tina Turner, "Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out. Unhappy relationships need to be given a justifying end because even by being in them, you'll only be creating negativity all around your life. Let's hope for the best and be papered for the worst, in all circumstances.