Letting Go

It hurts.
You filled up all my senses like a naked neon night in the forest,
Like light lime dew at daylight, like a run in the rain, running dogs (more like dogs running us).
You let me love you hard, showed me what I was capable of giving,
you gave me newfound life, only to let me drown in your laughter but not let me die in your arms,
Let me be buried beside you to always be with you.

The more time blows by, the more things change but in sleepless nights...
How I wish we could have somehow remained,
Our bond is an unbreakable chain with unconditional passion,
And heart locked that just one stare, one utter of your sultry sound,
One time making your broken smile crack,
One accidental touch of our hands... could spark and link us in treacherous love again.
I'd try till death just at the thought of a life with you...
Love is hard to come by but easy to die by.

I wanted someone to give my life to and my heart chose you,
My mind thought I was a fool but I just couldn't go through waiting for you,
To come back to me again after you find out that things aren't working,
And being lonely is painful but a little less than watching you with someone else,
The pain is too much to bare, I'd rather die 10 times than wait another night for you,
Another night while you're in someone else's arms wrapped around you.
I only ever pictured being in yours every night,
Your tight grasp, your lioness scratch, your warm breast pressed on my chest, intertwined, souls combined.

It was a bad choice but despite your lack of loyalty,
I could still love you forever faithfully no one else could make me as happy,
No one excites my zest for life quite like you,
A mystical rare creature never to be seen by my mortal eyes again.
Loneliness is now my only friend, a girl who is consistent, reliable and trustworthy,
Won't replace the adventure and fun life I'd have with you my best friend,
Memories flood my mind as I am reminded of what I left behind....

I will always remember how you looked in that black dress when I fulfilled my promise,
And took you to some place fancy worthy of you to wear it.
I barely had enough money for the 5 star dining, but was worth it,
And the old romantic man telling me how nice it was to see how much I cared,
How much effort exerted, how nervous I was for you,
And I was worried you would not show cuz you almost didn't....

That night you got engaged, I did everything right,
I was your best friend for the night but you were unhappy and I could see it from mile away,
You told me you wanted the ring from my way.
I cried and hated you for saying that I got feelings for you that you abused.
Our intimacy was deeper than a scar, that won't ever heal and I won't ever love again.

I remember you said I'd just be a passing memory that certain things would bring me up in your life,
But I'd wither away eventually, I guess that's better than nothing,
I pray for you everyday, I miss you so much, some days I get sick.
Its times like this I wonder if you think about me,
I hope you don't because everything's so wrong and I don't belong Living in Your precious memory,
The good and the bad, I would always come back to you, I could never stay mad at you.
I have never come back to anyone but you, maybe it's a sign but what do I know.

Looking back on the things I've done,
I was trying to be someone,
Loved you with all my heart, still in the dark,
Emptiness is now the trek I embark.
Don't hold it against me,
I had to message you,
Even though you did not want me to,
But that won't stop my lovin' you,
I couldn't stay away.

Sadness is beautiful,
Reminding me of the love that had its place,
Loneliness is inescapable,
Help from any other still can't win this war,
You kissed me hard before I went on Mirs steps,
Let me know how much I mean, how much I meant.

You are wise beyond your years but I don't care,
This is the song of my life,
You were the love of my life ,
I never loved anyone as much as you.
Published: 1/6/2017
Reflections of the Mind...
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