Find it hard to start off,
Explaining the feeling without feeling like an idiot,
Or somewhat pathetic one may think,
But more of without strength.
I feel out of touch,
I feel alone,
It is hard to stand firm in the vast silence of the night.
I was so used to having someone around,
Whenever I was losing my mind,
Now I lose my mind on my own,
It is something else,
Knowing that I have a foundation that makes me who I am.
But when emotions kick in,
Somehow they kick away all those motivational scriptures,
That held me together when my head was held high,
To what extent can our emotions be dwelt upon.
Sometimes I feel as though maybe I over-dwell,
As if I am so selfish,
That I remain in this state of myself,
And how I, me, myself is so alone,
How I want someone for me,
How I want someone to hold me,
How I want someone to make me laugh,
How I yearn for someone to be with me.
Has anyone ever fully yearned to be there for someone?
Wishing in a well that you can be that person,
Whose arms take away the cold of the desolate night,
Society has made this seem to be a form of desperation
As well as if one is alone, they are not wanted.
So it leaves people worrying about themselves,
And why someone won’t gaze at them,
And work to investing in them,
We are made to feel unwanted,
We are gunned to feel undeserved.
Once again I remember that I was not created this way,
That I know I will be fantastic in someone else’s life,
But time has a way of pinning you down to earth,
And letting you know that you are not in charge.
Man I feel like I can’t write anymore,
I am homesick too,
I just want someone to hold me,
No hookup, just hold,
Nothing sensual, just hold,
Nothing to regret, Just a hold.
Guess my tears will keep me company for one more night.