The "after the fact",
After all the crap that happened,
I'm still here collapsing,
I'm still here,
With that trauma from the bullying,
It used to be...
A different day,
But the same things are happening,
"Priscilla, you're really ugly",
"You look like a man",
"Are you a boy or girl?",
So many different insults, I can't tell.
Previously, I was the most outgoing person,
You'd ever know about,
Jump in a conversation just because,
The topic of it was something I knew about,
Talked to anyone I wanted to,
Wasn't scared of the shit they might say to me,
I was a "I don't give a fuck" type of individual,
In a good way though.
The bullying turned me into someone else,
I started hiding under desks in class,
I started shutting myself off from life,
I started to fetch that knife,
And slice my own skin.
Every morning, I would make cut after cut.
Quite a few times during school,
I would make cut after cut,
When I got home and nighttime,
I would make cut after cut and cut,
It just wasn't enough.
Now my past is haunting me,
How further can I go before I break,
And end up like that again,
Please don't let me fall,
And I wish to be dead again.