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All For You: Chapter 4, Part 2

Will they ever find their way in White Woods? Also, Mallory seems to be misusing so many things. Find out what and why. [The picture is of Geneva Hunter]
I was silent. She knew exactly what the answer was. She wanted to hear me say it. She wanted me to feel the guilt ooze into all the pores of my skin and into my soul. She wanted to prove that she was right when she said that, I would "abuse" them again.

Oh my goodness.

Was this really happening? Were we going to get lost? In the middle of White Woods? This would be a nightmare if we were actually lost.

"Okay, let's not panic..." Reed began.

"I knew we were not to trust this. It's broken down." My father looked at his map again. "If we reached the river, we can follow the directions in the map and get back to the cabin."

"Exactly... I'm guessing we wouldn't need this anymore," Reed said, tossing it aside. It knocked against a tree and a buzzing noise was heard.

Geneva picked GPS device up and put it into her backpack.

I nodded, looking at her. "Maybe we can fix it later."

Reed crossed his arms, looking at my father, he asked, "Now, where are we headed?"

I interrupted him just as my father was going to reply: "Ace, wasn't there an additional GPS device with this one?"

Geneva chimed in quietly, "Yeah?"

He shook his head, "I didn't see another one. There was supposed to be another one though."

I stood in front of everybody and asked, quickly, as my worry began to escalate, "Does anybody have a GPS system in their cell phones?"

"Oh God! How can I forget? Ellis installed an app here not long ago. Let me check."

"Thank God! Geneva, be quicker," my father urged her.

We stood there staring at Geneva's face. It went from excitement to eagerness to shock to gloom and then to misery. "How is this even possible?!"

"What?" I asked her.

"This was supposed to work offline and its busted." Disappointment filled her voice as she buried her head in her hands. "Shall we just head back the way we came from?"

"No, no."

Reed agreed, "Yeah, we can't just head back. I don't think we can do that too."

"We follow the map, then?" My father smiled weakly and pulled Geneva off the boulder. "C'mon, let's keep going, then."

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Nobody was in a blissful mood, not even in a satisfactory mood. It was quarter past 4; the rays of light that lit the woods diminished by degrees, slowly. So did our patience. We walked for what felt like forever. My father and Reed led the way this time. I noticed that they were trying their best. I noticed that we were all trying our best. Geneva walked beside me, swatting flies away, panting.

Why did everything turn out this way? Was it my fault? I hoped that I was not being overdramatic at any point, I did not want to worsen the situation any further. The swatting of flies around my head became somewhat of a routine. Now, even a minute felt like an hour. How long could we take this? Maybe, we should have turned back when we had the chance. Was it just me? Or were the buzzing of the flies getting louder and louder? I shook my head. I shook it again. I stopped walking and sank into the ground.

What -

What's happening to me?

Voices began to fill my ears. They rang and rang incessantly, endlessly. In all of perpetuity. They didn't stop. I closed my eyes tightly as I could. They, they, still... they kept going. I knelt down on the ground, burying my head in my hands, kneading my head with my fingers hastily. I felt like I was out of breath. Why... why couldn't I breathe? WHY CAN'T I BREATHE?

The voices stopped.

I opened my eyes.

I swore I could have seen-

I blacked out.

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When I opened my eyes, the splashing of water was all I heard.

I felt the water splashing against my toes and the splashing sounded very relaxing and was a safe haven for me.

I got off my back and sat down.

I could not believe my eyes. I gasped and cupped my mouth with my hands. We were not lost anymore. We were at the river. We made it.

I looked around and saw my father and Geneva running towards me. His fishing rod was swinging around dangerously and I felt my eyes widen and my mouth open for a yell, but he placed it aside and sat down next to me.

He rubbed my head and I hugged him tightly.

"You alright, Mal?" Geneva asked me, her voice was weak and she sounded worried.

"Honey, I was so worried about you."

"I'm alright, Dad. I'm feeling okay now."

"What happened, darling? Why did you act like that?"

Geneva stopped him and I bit my lip nervously. "Dad... she must still be feeling a bit woozy. Let her rest for a few minutes."

She pulled him aside, said something to him. He smiled at me, grabbed his rod after giving me a kiss and headed off to the other side of the river. Geneva and I were left alone. She gave me the look a child would get for being disobedient, for doing something extremely bad and unacceptable. She looked towards my father headed as though to make sure that he had disappeared completely.

She came toward me and sat down on a rock close by. Without any hesitation, she asked me, impulsively, her voice silently yet voraciously demanding for an answer, "Are you using those capsules again?"

I was silent. She knew exactly what the answer was. She wanted to hear me say it. She wanted me to feel the guilt ooze into all the pores of my skin and into my soul. She wanted to prove that she was right when she said that I would "abuse" them again.

"Mallory, you know exactly what the doctor told you. You are not-"

"I am! Okay! You don't live in my skin, Geneva! You don't have thoughts like I do. You're not potentially responsible for everything that's gone wrong in our lives since Mom died." I felt tears oozing out of my eyes and dripping down my cheeks, silently, like my voice. My voice quivered when I spoke to Geneva. "You don't have the responsibility of keeping this family together like I do. You don't have this ball of trust to protect. You're not me."

"Mal, I..." I saw her welling up. She was feeling sorry for me. There was no ridicule in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you feel this way. I understand."

"No, you don't. Nobody understands this. Not even Reed."

"You're right, I'm sorry that you feel this pressure."

"And, you were right. I am using the antidepressants again. I never stopped using them."

Geneva pursed her lips and listened to me, intently. Her blue eyes looked dull today. They did not shine in all their intergalactic greatness as they did before. They were out of life and her lips were a brown line across her face.

She stood up, swallowed hard, said to me, "Let me know if you want something. I'm going to go over the other side," and left.

I hated the way she questioned my medication. I referred to it as "medication" and she called it "unnecessary drugs". Nobody knew about this. It was our little secret. She swore to keep it from everybody else a few weeks after my mother died. I was still miserable and mentally isolated after my mother died that my father took me to a psychologist for a session. I requested for my sister's company too. The psychologist ran few tests. I answered loads of questions with Geneva and he told me that I could have been possibly depressed. He told me that he noticed, I seemed numb to situations. He gave me a prescription of mild antidepressants for regular use until I was told to stop. I asked Geneva and my psychologist to keep this a secret from Dad. I did not know why exactly. I wanted him to think that I was making the transition on my own due to my conscious choice, not under the influence of drugs. I didn't tell anybody else too. It was something Geneva and I shared very privately. Something extremely important.

A few months ago, when I was making such a drastic progress mentally and physically, Geneva suggested that I stopped using them. I was reluctant. I was still depressed, I told her. Anyway, my psychologist told me that he would let me know when I had to stop using them. I had not been to another session for over a month... but, I was sure that I had to still use them. I was still depressed. I was sure about that. I did not need a psychologist to tell me that.

The hoot of an owl disturbed my thinking and I looked to where Geneva headed. I wanted to join her and just relax and have fun, now that I was not unconscious and about to lose my mind.

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I walked to where it looked like she headed and I spotted two people.

I rubbed my eyes and splashed my eyes with the water from the bottle I was clutching. I was correct. There were two people. As I walked closer, I could make out who they were.

That could not be. He said that he would speak to her in the night. It was half past five now and there was not even a bit of darkness in the sky. He must have been very keen to speak to her, I assumed and I walked forward slowly, ensuring that the both of them could not see me.

As I walked closer and closer, at a snail's pace, my eyes did a double take.

Dad was at the other side of the river. We were the only people renting the cabin and present in White Woods.

Then... who was that standing behind Geneva?

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Hey!

I hope you enjoyed Part 2. Next chapter is coming up and is full of surprises including Reed and Geneva's interesting chat and who the third person is...

Thank you for reading this chapter and have an amazing day!

Love,
Della
By
Published: 8/30/2014
Bouquets and Brickbats