All I've Ever Known

Hope you like the poem.
I've always been lonely,
It's practically all I know how to be,
I can't do relationships the way most people do,
It's too confusing and messy,
I either never commit or lose myself completely,
And so, to stay myself, I stay lonely.

I moved away from home, out of state,
Away from my family and friends,
My family from birth and my families by choice,
And hell, it was lonely.

I had always known lonely,
It's my goddamn bread and butter,
I don't know how to open up anymore,
And now I have a drinking problem,
Because it's the only thing that makes me feel like me,
When I have to me around other people.

I've moved a few times now,
It's the job I signed up for,
Always leaving,
Never staying,
And now I live in an entirely new country,
But I don't speak the language,
And hell, am I lonely.

As I get older,
The more and more I need someone to hold me,
To tell me it will be okay,
Someone just to give my emotion to,
Someone to give my loneliness to,
Someone to give myself to,
But I just don't know how.
Published: 1/28/2019
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