As I Lay Dying

When you know when and how you are going to die.
When I heard about my death sentence, I didn't really faint like they show in the movies. Neither did I cry out loud nor shouted. I knew I looked calm but deep down inside I was feeling something strange and creepy running through my veins. It caused nothing but goosebumps and ultimately I didn't really take much time to realize, it was actually my fear which I carefully kept aside or in some cases kept hidden for a really long time.

My vision was blur. A blackout was inevitable while I whispered to myself... "Is this it?"
Fear continued to crawl through my veins while I was being taken to the condemned cell... how painful is death? How painful is it to know when you meet your end? How pathetic am I going to be in my afterlife? I suddenly managed to have a dry smile exploring the fact that those who claim not to fear their death are either a big liar or a big fool. My smile doesn't last long realizing that could well be the last time I was smiling in my pathetic little life.

I was lucky enough to witness my last sunrise in the last day of my life. And that's when my fear intensified just enough to turn into regrets and it was suffocating. I grew that vision which I should have grown a long time ago. How I could have arranged my life better and how I should have dealt with the situations... what I have done, what I could have done and what are left to be done... the gap kept on increasing in between them. The meaningless list of the things I wish I could go back and change, if only I had some more time kept on going.

"Cigarette?" I asked to that security guy on the other side of the cell... amazingly he got one cigarette out of his pocket and handed over to me with a matchbox. I lit it gleefully assuming that my last wish is granted.

Nobody wants flower on their grave when they are dead, but suddenly I wished I could have some. And it was my time to be sad for the people I turned my back on and the people I let down through my life. I knew my sins will someday come back around to haunt me and it was time. Things I did wrong started flashing before my eyes. It felt somewhat refreshing to feel some teardrops slowly rolling down my cheek. I said my final prayer.

I felt nothing when I slowly walked towards the place of my death. I knew I was looking calm. I felt my blood running through my veins slowly freezing and again I whispered to myself, "This is it."

( put yourself in his position and please let me know how would you feel in the comments box..)
How do you like this write up?
It's ordinary thinking.
It's really good... made me think.
Its unreal
Thoughts are reflected nicely.
Wasted my time reading this
Published: 9/5/2015
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