Chapter One - Being Me
I sat on my bed and fixed my laptop so that the camera faced on me. I opened the URL to my blog and signed in. It came up with the title page and comments about how much my blog inspires them and to hurry and post up another video. And then there are others saying that my blog sucks and that I need to stop being full of myself. I sighed, pulled up my webcam and began to record.
"Hey, Briana again." I started scrolling. "Alright um. So this is live and I'm seeing everything on my news board about the people who hate me and who love me. I guess hate always override love right?" I scrolled down some more until I just quit and looked at the screen. "Alright. The topic I'm discussing with you all tonight is 'staying strong'. 'How do you do that you ask? Well. It's simple. You just keep your head up. I shouldn't even be discussing this with you only cause every ounce of me is not strong. Don't tell me that it is. There is 90% weak in me, 7% I'm not sure of and that tiny 3% that wakes me up in the morning. Other than that, I shouldn't even be helping you on this."
I looked down on my screen at the list of topics. I chuckled once I saw the last one. "Well, you also wanted to know about my love life. Well it's simple, I don't have one. I'm not the type of person that people fall in love with, that's my sister. Although, all of my friends have boyfriends. I just had to be the weakest link. Yeah. I guess that I was just born to be forever alone." I adjusted the camera. "Thanks for the topics. I picked these and I barely had enough things to talk about." I pressed my hands together. "Forgive me?"
I woke up the next morning to the sound of running water. I opened my eyes and looked up; someone was in my bathroom, the one that was connected to my room. Oh shit. Didn't they know that this was my bathroom and not anyone else's? Well apparently they didn't since they are practically soaking up all of my hot water like it's the right thing to do. I sighed and flipped my comforter off my body and got up.
I approached the door and started banging on it. "Hey! Whoever in there needs to get the hell up out of my bathroom. I didn't ask for you to come in here. Wooh! I mean you didn't ask to come in here."
About two minutes later the water stopped running, the door unlocked and my older brother Liam's best friend Lucas Jameson walked out. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and another wiping his hair.
"Sorry princess. It's five in the morning and I'd thought you would be asleep." I crossed my arms and looked at him. Yes he was beautiful. And yes he was even more beautiful with water dripping down his 6 pack, but I wasn't about to let him know that.
Lucas had been my brother's friend since before I could even remember. They were always at each others hip. It might sound gay, but you know, guys don't know how to talk about how much they love each other, so I'm just gonna say that they were always at each others hips. Lucas, though, was absolutely beautiful. He had this light brown hair swoop kinda going on and piercing blue eyes that you could melt in.
"It's Briana you douche. And are those my towels?"
He smirked. "Maybe." And then he walked past me smiling and smirking. I turned to cut the bathroom light out when Lucas spoke. "By the way." I spun and looked at him. "Nice show last night. You will be forever alone." And then he slammed my door shut.
I put up the middle finger at nothingness and laid back down on my bed. I rolled over and placed a pillow between my legs to give them some warmth and I reached up on my nightstand to pick up my phone. One message. I opened it and it was from my best friend in the whole wide world, Ian Lowington.
I love you babe. I hope you have sweet dreams.
I smiled and looked at the time, 5:16 am. I needed to get the rest of my beauty sleep.
My alarm buzzed at 7:25 am and I turned it off. In the two hours of sleep that I had gotten, I only got about 45 minutes of sleep. I rolled out of bed and tousled with my hair before I looked at myself in my vanity. Long black hair that was stringy looking and smelled like sweat and gray eyes that made me look like some demon child. I sighed and walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Then I walked back outside and looked through my drawers for some clothes.
I looked to my left and my curtains on my window were open and the house next door shown. I walked up to it and looked out of the window, and across the way was another window leading into another house. I sighed and tilted my head. No one had ever lived in that house since we lived here, and I doubt that anyone would. It was a nice beautiful house that had been fixed up many times, but it was expensive as hell. Whoever did live in there had to have money growing out the ass.
Once I was showered and dressed, I walked downstairs and saw the usual. My brother was yelling at Liam about the play that they were gonna do during the Friday night game, my sister was on her phone talking endlessly to her best friend about the boyfriend that she was currently dating. My dad was sitting at the table drinking his coffee, and my mom was leaning over the stove cooking.
"No mom," I said walking to her and taking the pan. She turned towards me and that's when her 6 month belly was exposed. "Let me get that for you."
She smiled, rubbed my head and then kissed my forehead. "You're the best thing I've got." And she went to go clean up something in the living room. I looked after her and watched as she struggled. It was like no one cared whether she was tired or anything, and they wouldn't even help her if their life depended on it.
Liam walked over to me and grabbed a bacon out of the pan that was sizzling and kissed the side of my head. "I hope it was okay if Lucas took a shower in your bathroom. I was using mine."
"It's fine," I mumbled turning the pan off.
Liam put his arms on my shoulders and turned me toward him. "You're feeling okay?" I nodded.
"Of course." One thing you should know about me is that I hate to tell people my feelings. I don't like if people were to feel sorry for me or try to talk to me about my problems. That's not how I was really brought to feel. It is kind of uncanny, how I would rather talk about someone else's problems before I would ever talk about my own. I guess that's just how I made myself to be.
"You're a nice girl, but a terrible liar." I smiled and ran a hand through my hair. "Do you want me to drop you off at school?"
I looked over at Lucas who was talking to my father and then I frowned. "No. Um, Ian is coming."
Liam nodded and threw the rest of his bacon in the trash. "I'll see you there." And he and Liam disappeared out of the door. I just smiled.
One thing was for sure, Liam was jealous of the relationship that I beheld with Ian. Ever since Ian and I met in the 5th grade, we had this miraculous bond that felt unbreakable, but we were so opposite, it was crazy. I liked the color white, he liked the color black; he loved Gossip Girl, I loved Vampire Diaries. He had blonde hair, I had black hair, he had black eyes, I had gray ones. We just mended so well together. Opposites attract always.
I yawned and washed the dishes that were in the sink before I went upstairs to grab my backpack. From downstairs I heard my sister call, "Bri! Ian's here!" I walked to my window and closed the blinds before I strolled downstairs. I kissed my dad's forehead and then hugged my mother. I walked out of the house, down the porch steps and into Ian's car.
He looked over at me with those pure black eyes and I looked over at him. "What? Do I have something on my face?"
He smiled and shook his head as he sped down the street. "Nah. Your face is clear. I was just looking at you personally." I rolled my head and adjusted my backpack so that it was on the ground under my feet.
"You say that everyday."
"Does it get old? I could stop."
"I never said that." And I rolled the window down and let my hair flutter through the wind that fell from the window. The breeze was nice.
"Sorry I couldn't web show with you last night." I nodded with my eyes closed trying to take in my surroundings. "How many viewers?"
"76,802." I opened my eyes and looked at him and he was smiling. "I predict less next week."
"Why would you? That's the highest and it can only keep getting higher and higher right?" Ian slowed down at the red light.
"Yeah, but I just ended it abruptly like after two minutes. I'm pretty sure people think that I was being a bit of a bitch."
"Well I watched it last night," he said looking at the road. "And I thought you were just tired. It was a bit after twelve in the morning."
I leaned back on the seat and ran my hands through my hair. The light turned green and Ian sped on down the yellow brick road. About a few minutes later, we were in the school parking lot and Ian was turning the car off. We both emerged, prepped ourselves for the day and walked into the hall. Ian excused himself for he had football duties to do and I excused myself because I had to go to my locker before I went to journalism.
As I walked to my locker, I noticed that there was a couple, right beside mine making out like they didn't know what the hell PDA meant. I just rolled my eyes, opened my locker and stuffed books in there. After I was finished, I shut my locker, held my backpack tighter and walked upstairs to the Art room which is where Journalism was also held.
As I got in there, I took the scene in. Two girls Erin and Stacey were working on their section of the newspaper of the week, Jimmy, the head of the journalism was working on drawing, a new art for the paper and three boys who belonged in the football team were drawing new cartoons for the newspaper. I took my laptop out of my bag and then sat my bag on the floor. I pulled the rolly chair out of my desk and sat down. I opened it and my email was pulled up. I had three new messages. One was from my brother that was away at college. It simply said: Airport. Friday. 6:00 am. Can you drive my car and get me? I replied yes and then checked the others. One was about car insurance which I deleted cause quite frankly I didn't have a car and the other was one from some chic named Delilah Gorring. I clicked on it and I found myself smiling:
Briana? I hope this doesn't disturb you and I don't wanna pester you about this, but I don't care what anyone says. Your blog has spoken to me for the two years since you've started. I watched it when you only had like 100 viewers. My friend told me about it and I completely fell in love with everything about you. I'm not gay so don't think that, but I was wondering if you would stop being so hard on yourself. You're very beautiful and everyone at my school thinks so too. In reality, we have your poster hung out on the principal's door. The principal always used to take it down until his daughter, my best friend, told him to watch one web show with her and it was the one with you and your friend Ian and you were both talking about things high school teachers and principals need to know about how students want to be treated. After that, our principal kept your poster up for the whole school year and now he just keeps it in the auditorium. I know I'm blabbing on and on, but I just want to know how much you inspire me and I think everyone at our school. Don't stop being yourself and definitely don't stop being beautiful.
Love Always, Delilah Gorring or you can call me Dell like my friends.
I just smiled at the message. I couldn't write back just then because I was too stunned and I didn't know what to say. I just marked that letter in my favorites and promised to go back and look at it.