I adjust the camera to show my pale ashen face streaked with mascara and tears. Looking at the viewer’s number box, the number 450,000 blinks at me. A total of 450,000 people are looking me in the eyes, probably wondering what’s wrong I might as well tell them.
"A few minutes ago I realized that I was in love. In love with not just anybody, but my best friend. The one person that I know I can and always will love is the person that I want to be mine. Marcus Knight, that’s his name as you all know, has been my dude for almost eighteen years now. We have always been nothing more than friends. Like, five minutes ago we were sitting on the couch in his basement. Halo was paused on the television screen. We’d been chilling together all day. Then he made a remark about his girlfriend.
I hate her by the way, just to tell you the truth. Jessica if you’re out there sorry. Anyway, he said something and I don’t even know why, but I exploded. I said some horrible things, and then I kissed him. Now I know that sounds so fucked up. I just couldn’t help it though. He licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak and I went for it because I wanted to. His lips were pressed against mine and I started a little tongue oh God! Bye!"
I end the broadcast when the tears start flowing again. I know that I’ve lost him. After all this time I have now just lost the only guy that I really understood and who really understood me. I’m going to sleep.
Mac or Marcus Knight has been my one and only best friend for eighteen years and now I know that has all vanished. We are probably going to end up having one of those asshole relationships the ones that are so awkward and horribly just plain wrong.
I don’t even know why I leaned across that couch to connect us.