Bittersweet Withdrawal

He was sweet, he was nurturing, he was everything, yet that was not enough...
He said I had a twinkle in my eye,
I stared at him star-struck,
Dazzled by this obscurity,
What universe was he living in,
But he said it firmly, sincerely,
I had never been told that,
All I saw was a mud puddle,
Yet he saw the crystal showcased,
By the sun's rays from his iris.

I always stood blushing,
I came to understand that feeling of someone,
Making you feel beautiful,
I felt like Cleopatra,
No, I felt like Princess Diana,
Strong yet agile,
A precious memory gazing at him,
An analogy of peace and love,
That I brought to his world,
Whenever he greeted me,
It was with a smile and kiss,
With no hesitation or fear,
Of who was to watch us,
In that way he was my Clyde,
As we run from the perceptions of foreseers,
Robbed them of their bland sight of their lives,
Rushed away with bags of a longing,
That they held for themselves,
That someone could too proudly embrace,
Affection with their princess.

I was not used to it all,
He was my official first companion,
I thought of it technically and drew up plans,
How our anniversaries shall work out,
When it was what was to be said,
It became so practical in my head,
Yet every word and movement he made,
Went against the status quo of my logic,
He secretly rebelled against my thoughts,
Yet, he was respectful to my boundaries,
He only went where I went,
And that was novel to me.

He was the only person,
I could peacefully fall asleep in front of,
In the past, in my mistaken moments,
I struggled to spend time with my dreams,
Yet there on his lap,
With melodies playing softly behind us,
I caught up with my dreams,
And he stayed to watch me,
He watched me as the peace veiled my face,
Never wanting to lift it up,
As my beauty lay there at the grip of his fingers,
And when I took a break and had a peek,
There he was smiling at me.

I could not understand why this man found,
Watching a sleeping me to be one of his hobbies,
I could not understand that even in that moment,
Where my look could be compromised,
I could not care less,
Even if my eyes collected cleanings in their corners,
I could not care less,
Even if at that very moment,
My mouth decided to catch some air,
And some moisture decided to run for it,
I could not care less,
Even if words of the actions in my dreams decided to slip out,
I really could not care less,
Because it was the ease and adoration,
He kept on me that made me feel like,
That even when my brain is at rest,
My presence still blew his mind.

As fast as we rose,
Was as fast as reality dawned,
Time ticked me,
It was not our moment in time,
The thought crushed me,
As I knew, it was a fast-paced we raced,
I thought we could be the exception,
But little did I know,
That even the rules would apply to my heart,
I had to place my comforts aside,
And see that I was still shattered from before,
I could not expect him to pick up the pieces and mend them,
Because he would not be able to do it,
I was incomplete and was incapable to complete our completeness,
Waves from different locations of the sea,
Were making me see,
That this was not for me,
But all I could think about was the courage.

He had to put his heart on my sleeve,
For me to keep,
He had the courage to go beyond his ease,
And write words to me that were so sweet,
Yet, he had never done that before,
He did not regard himself as a pro poet,
But he was in his actions,
The moments where our feet glided to the soulful songs,
And when our lips let our souls make songs,
He was a pro poet to my heart,
Because even the most simple phrases,
Chained away cliché and freed up swoons in me.

But that was just it,
All I thought about was what he did to me,
How he made me feel,
And not how I aspired to make him feel,
I knew, I wanted to bring him joy and motivation,
Be myself with the benefits of his other half,
But even the thought had holes in it,
And I knew, that if this race did not come to a stop.

I would have to open the door and fall out,
I look back at our memories with thankfulness,
No one ever made me feel that special,
No one ever made me feel that beautiful,
And without degrading me,
He upheld my heart,
On display for the world to catch a gaze of,
Knowing that they would be in as much wonder as he was,
So I needed that,
I needed to know,
That I was capable of being adored,
I knew God kept telling me that,
But seeing it in action opened my eyes more.

It hurt when I had to let him go,
It hurt more when his face was tainted with pain of letting me go,
But his soul is just that beautiful that he understood,
He respected it,
He accepted it,
And with that,
I pray that Sweet, Sweet Soul,
Will gain that joy again,
And let me go.
Published: 2/25/2014
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