Broken History

My past catching up, repeating itself.
After all these years I still love you,
I may whisper sweet lies to you,
But deep inside I am lying to myself,
So at night I won’t have to cry anymore.

I truly am sorry that I do not know,
How to say these words,
I hold inside of me to you,
I can see the pain on your face,
Each time we say goodbye,
At night my heart breaks over and over,
As I remember my words,
You think it would be easy to say I love you,
But its more natural to close my eyes and whisper sweet lies.

Once upon a time, I believed those lies myself,
I remember having them whispered to myself before,
I remember the pain, the haunting echo of his footsteps,
The painful silence that followed after it.

I can see those events as I do the same,
History repeats itself,
Misery and love go hand in hand with me,
There are so many things with us that I wish I could again.

But the past is the past now,
How many times I close my eyes,
The pain in your eyes is frozen,
A solid reminder of the pain I caused,
Do you close your eyes at night and hear my words.

Can you feel me walking out the door like he did to me?
Will you repeat history and do this to another?
Will I be the cause of somebody else pain?
When I die will I see the trail of broken hearts and tears?
Will all the painful sobs at night echo loud inside my heart?
When I close my eyes and say goodbye will I be forgiven?

Is it even possible?
Do you still love me?
In the end will any of this even matter anymore to anybody?
Or shall this just become somebody's broken history in this broken world?
Published: 11/16/2011
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