"Attention passengers, we will soon be landing in Rio de Janeiro momentarily. Please place your trays and seats in the up right position…" the flight attendant's voice became a muffled background. My eyes were glued out the window as I could only imagine his face when he sees me.
After being forgiven by Heather for my outburst in Tokyo, I confessed to her my love for Nathan and my need to see him. She admitted to having his friend's number, so we called to find out where they were located. Turns out, Nathan has been in the same state as me. His friends forced him to go to Rio for a festival, but he locked himself up in his room and refuses to speak to anyone.
They promised us that they would be able to drag him out to the festival long enough to see me. My butterflies were fighting amongst themselves in the pit of my stomach. I gripped one of my dad’s journals so tightly it could have ripped in half.
"Why are you nervous?" Heather’s voice sounded so calm compared to my emotions. "You know he is in love with you, there is no way he can say no."
"I know. I’m more nervous about what comes next." I brush my fingers through my hair, which was digesting altering the long flight.
"What do you mean? You live happily ever after!" Heather said as hopeful as a Disney princess at the end of a fairy tale.
"I’ve never needed someone in this way before. The way I need him is indescribable. But, what if I go back to New York and he goes back to England and we never see each other and it becomes one tangled mess-"
"Grace! Stop. Rewind. Play." Heather breaks it down for me, "You don’t have anything holding you in New York. You are already a part of my family and nothing changes that. You are completely legal to do whatever you want to do now. If you want to move to London to be with him, then do that! But that is a choice for you two to make. Not just you."
"What do you mean?"
"He might want to make the big move to the big apple. Give him a chance to give his opinion on the subject too. He might surprise you," she smiled at me reassuringly.
"Let’s just get through the meet up first," I sigh, letting my eyes trail out the window again. A few hours later, I was showered and ready to take on the day… well, night. By the time the plane landed and Heather and I were able to get to our hotel room to clean up, it was almost ten. The festival was in full party mode; food stands were buying and selling, children running up and down the street with sparklers, people on balconies with lanterns, the smell of alcohol filled the air, and figurines passed by on the streets. There were so many people, it was hard to see a few feet in front of you, especially at our height. Heather had to grab my wrist and lead me through the ocean of festival goers.
"There," she pointed ahead at a group of a few guys standing on the side of the street drinking. One of the friends gave us their approximate location but didn’t know when we would be there. I couldn’t see Nathan, yet, but his friends were in clear view. People kept getting in my way. Suddenly, with the passing of a very large man, the group was gone. I frantically looked around to where they had gone to.
"Go, Grace! Find him!" Heather let go of me through the crowd and I was alone, wading in the sea of people. I began to yell.
"Nathan! Nathan!" I kept calling out over the music and millions of conversations going on around me. I didn’t give up, even with the looks that strangers gave me. Faintly, in the distance I can hear my name being called. Frantically, look around for the source, I keep yelling his name. Looking up, I see Nathan who hopped on a float that was passing by, to scan the crowd. I began jumping up and down, waving down his attention. His eyes caught mine and he jumped down. We ran towards each other, sliding past anyone that got in our way. When I reached him, I jumped wrapping my arms round his neck and legs around his waist. He held me there and we kissed like we would never part again.
"Forever," I breathe, pressing my forehead to his, looking into his beautiful tired eyes.
"What?" He questioned.
"Love me forever."
"I will love you always," he smiled and we kissed again. "I’m so sorry," he began repeating over and over again as we hugged. I shushed him and told him to just hold me. My tears of happiness, bled into the shoulder of his light gray t-shirt.
Finally, we decided to get out of the streets and head to his hotel room, just down the street. His room, high above all the action, overlooked the upbeat energy from down below. I sat on his bed, watching the people tripping over themselves and sauntering through the narrow streets. Nathan came and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead.
"Politics," he whispered in my ear. I turned to look at him.
"What?" It was now my turn for confusion.
"Do you remember when we talked on the plane? You said I shouldn’t spread my energy so thin with all the activities I am involved in. You said I should just focus my energy on one area. Modeling and Acting were fun, but I am ready for something more serious. I think what my dad does is so interesting, so I think I’m going to look into politics," he took a sip of scotch.
"That’s incredible, Nathan," I beam at him. We both turn our attention to the window again.
"I think I want to pursue it in New York."
"Really?" I raise my eyebrows.
"It’s an amazing city, I need to be on my own, and I get to be closer to you. How could it get any better?" He asked. I just leaned over to kiss him, in answer to his question. "You know, while I thought I was just chasing you for the past month, I now realize I was chasing Grace in general. You opened my eyes to love and I found out it was my decision whether or not I lose you. But, I’m never going to lose you again and I found this love that I have never believed existed. Thank you for loving me, Grace."
After thinking about it, I realize I never thought of how much I was learning from Nathan. Love can come from anywhere and not all loves are perfect and always do the right thing. Both Nathan and I still need to work on how we show our love. But, there is plenty of time to practice.
So to my future children who read this journal, I want you to know that Grace can come from anywhere and when you find it, chase it with every ounce of your being, because it comes few times in this life. The worst feeling is to look back and realize how much you missed out on because you didn’t throw all of yourself into it.
Chasing Grace - Final ChapterIt all comes to a close.
By joslyn miller