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Complicated Love - Chapter 16

Izzy finds out something absolutely horrifying and experiences a crazy bad panic attack! She's trapped between what she really wants, and what she goes to therapy about. Read Chapter 16, to find out if Cam can help her.
"Tell," Cam demanded, as soon as our hotel door closed behind us, leaving us alone.

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the couch, "It really wasn't anything, Cam."

"You were crying!"

"I wasn't crying..." I tried to sound confident, but I couldn't persuade him.

"Bull crap," Cameron came over to where I was, and sat on the coffee table to face me.

"Some guy freaked me out. He took my lemonade, and when I asked for it back, he started to get creepy. In retrospect, it wasn't a big deal," I told him sheepishly.

"What! What did he do to you?" His voice was raised now, and I saw fury in his eyes, almost the way I saw him, when Cam found me with Chris.

"He pushed me up against a wall..."

"What?!"

"But, I kicked him in the balls, and then ran away!" I said, and then put my hands on his shoulders, and made him look me in the eyes, "I'm fine Cameron. I was just freaked out because of Chris. But I'm fine, it's not a big deal."

"Angel, this is a huge deal. Why the hell didn't you come get me?! I would've beaten the living shit out of that punk!"

"That's why I didn't tell you," I said, with a small joking smile. He didn't seem to catch on, he simply frowned at me.

"Seriously Angel, you need to tell me about these things. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"Okay," I said quietly, and looked down at my hands, which were fidgeting with each other, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he said, and offered me a smile, "I'm just a little protective, I guess. The whole Chris thing has me on edge; I don't want anything like that to happen to you, ever again. I just care about you babe."

"I know," I smiled back softly, "Thanks Cam."

"You little badass," he smirked at me, "You sacked him?"

I laughed softly and nodded, "Yup."

"That's my girl," he said proudly and kissed my temple softly.

Then Cam came in closer and pressed his lips against mine. His kiss was soft, and tender, and it made me happy. I felt such simplicity when I was kissing Cam; he made me feel like I had nothing to worry about.

Instinctively, I put my arms up around his neck to pull him in. He put his hands around my waist, and slowly started to kiss me deeper, more passionately. Our lips parted, and soon our tongues collided, making me tingle all over. Cam's hands wandered down my back, and soon stopped right at my ass. His large hands cupped my bum, and he easily lifted me up from the couch, and brought me onto his lap. I sat right on him with my legs on either side.

His kisses edged away from my mouth, and soon his lips were on my jaw and neck. I leaned my head back, so it was easier for him, and I let a little sigh slip out of my lips. Cam smirked against my skin, and lightly bit on the skin under my ear, sending butterflies into the pit of my stomach. I giggled softly, and used my hands to run through his soft hair.

Cam's hands were quite quick, they were all over my back, and a second later, he was reaching for the hem of my shirt. He slid his hands under the fabric, and touched the skin of my waist lightly. I got tingles all over again, and I giggled again softly. He slowly pulled my shirt up higher, and higher, until I had to lift my arms up for him to pull the top over my head. He tossed my shirt to the side, and then leaned back to take a look at me.

I blushed deeply, as he looked down at my boobs, that sat nicely in my black lacy bra. He smirked, at me, and said with a flirty wink, "I've only dreamed about these bad boys."

My jaw dropped at his words, and my eyes widened. I lightly smacked his arm and laughed, "You pervert!"

He laughed with me, before kissing me again. His hands came up to cup my boobs, and I felt my entire body light on fire. His touch, sent my skin to a fiery wonderland. I could only imagine the way it would feel to get even more intimate with Cam if he was already making me feel this way; the thought excited me.

I think, it excited Cam too, because I felt his little friend, poke me hello. I hadn't ever felt this way before. It was so different, being with Cam than with Chris. For obvious reasons, but Cam made me feel safe. Chris was scary and demanding. Cam took it slow with me, he knew I didn't do this often, and he knew about Chris. He was sensitive about it, and that made me trust him a lot more. Usually, I'd be pissed that Cam had got a boner because of me, but things were different now; you could say I was a little proud.

Knock knock!

I instantly jumped back, and looked at the door. Cam froze in his spot, and he turned his head toward the knocking.

"Shit!" I whispered and jumped off his lap. He fumbled around as I got off him, and tossed me back my shirt.

"Izzy?! Cam?!" It was Grayson on the other side of the door. Why did he always ruin things?

"One sec bro!" Cam yelled through the door, while helping me pull my shirt back on.

"Fix your damn pants!" I shot at him in a whisper. You could see the tent in his pants, and Grayson would not want to see that. Cam rearranged himself, before he pulled the hem of my shirt down for me. I went to go reach for the door, until he pulled my back towards him.
"What are you doing?" I whisper yelled at him.

"It's backwards!" he said, and pulled my shirt up again. The both of us, quickly flipped the shirt inside out, and had it back on me in about five seconds. He shot me a thumbs up, and I went to open the door.

"Hey bro," I said, trying not to sound so out of breath.

Cam leaned against the wall, as Grayson came into the room, "Just wanted to remind you, that we're going to check out of the hotel tomorrow at 10 am."

"You got it boss," I said and saluted him with a goofy smile on my face. From the corner of my eye, I saw Cam chuckle at my lame gesture.

Grayson started to speak again, "I just got a call from dad, and he said that he accidentally, only booked your flight one way."

It took me a couple of seconds, for it to register in my brain, but when I realized what it meant, my eyes went wide with shock, "What?!"

"He only booked for the way here, and I checked online Izzy, the rest of the flights are chalked full for tomorrow."

"You're joking, right?" I couldn't believe it. I was not sitting in a car for 6 hours. No fucking way.

Grayson shook his head no, "I'm sorry sis, there isn't anything we can do."

"What if I stay another day, and wait until the next day?"

"But, we have school..."

"Fuck school!"

"Seriously?" Cam and Grayson said at the same time, totally shocked that those words came out of my mouth. I was the one, who always hounded them for making me five minutes late.

"Yeah. I'd rather miss a day, than drive for 6 hours!"

"But babe, the auditions are tomorrow. You can't possibly miss your auditions, can you?"

Shit! I forgot. No. No. No. This can't be happening to me. I couldn't miss my audition, that was for sure. I had to audition. I loved theater and musicals. Mr. Flint, would be so disappointed. Hell, I'd be so disappointed. Musicals were the things that defined me at school. People knew me, because of my voice, because I was that person. I wasn't Grayson's twin sister, the library nerd. I was Izzy, the choir/musical/theater fanatic, and everyone respected me for it. They knew I was talented, and that the arts department was where I belonged. I couldn't not be in this musical! Music was part of my identity, and it was my last year here at high school. I couldn't throw my last chance away.

I realized I had to go, even if I had to drive for 6 straight hours. I had to, if I wanted follow through with the musical, which I wanted more than anything. The thought made me upset though. I didn't want to be trapped in a car for that long, it scared the shit out of me.

Instantly, my chin started to wobble and my eyes started to glaze over with tears. I whispered quietly in protest, "But I can't."

Cam was immediately by my side. He put his arm around my shoulder, and rubbed it up and down, "It'll be alright babe. We'll be fine, it'll be lots of fun."

I didn't want to, I couldn't do it. I protested against it, even though I knew I had to face it no matter what. I shook my head again and again. Cam pulled me in closer, and that's when the tears fell. I started to silently sob; my hands covered my face, and my tears poured into my palms.

Now you may think, I'm being overly dramatic. But, let me tell you, anxiety isn't a joke. It's something that I live with, and it's really hard to deal with. It's hard to understand if you don't have it. It's silent, and no one except you knows you're battling it. I sit there, and feel so suffocated, and I can't stop it, nor explain it. It's just horrible.

"Izzy, don't cry," Grayson said softly, "I'm gonna drive real careful, okay?"

"Please don't make me..."

"There isn't any other way," Grayson said, apologetically.

"This isn't fair!" I yelled through my tears, frustrated.

"Angel," Cam said softly in my ear, "Everything will be okay."

"You don't understand. No one does." I said, and ripped myself away from Cam's. I stalked off to the bathroom, and locked the door. This bathroom seemed to be a great hiding place.

I heard mumbling our side the door, and then the front door shut. I sat myself in the bathtub, and pulled my knees up to my chest. I let the tears roll down my cheeks. Cam twisted the doorknob to find it locked. He sighed, and knocked lightly against the wood that separated us.

"Angel?"

I just sat there in the tub, and continued crying. This was such a disaster.

"Baby, please open up."

"No," I choked out.

"It's just me now, Grayson is on the phone with your dad. Please just open the door."

"Cam, I can't go. I can't do it."

"Sure you can, Princess. Just come over, and twist the lock," he chuckled.

"Not the door Cam! The fucking car!" I shouted, that wasn't funny at all.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said quickly, and knocked again, "Seriously, Angel open the door."

I ignored him again, and continued sitting in the tub, still sobbing. I cried and cried, all my emotions were flooding me all at once. I was so overwhelmed, my hands were shaking, and my breath was staggering. I was crying so hard, that soon I started to have trouble breathing. I took huge breaths and I was coughing like crazy; I was having a full-blown panic attack. I gripped the side of the bathtub, and breathed hard long breaths, but nothing seemed to help. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like none of the air I was inhaling was entering my lungs. Nothing worked.

"Izzy!" Cam heard me and started to yell and pound on the door frantically, "Open the fucking door, right now!"

I couldn't answer him. I couldn't breathe, how the hell would I be able to speak! My tears streamed down my face, as I continued trying to catch my breath, but by now I was heaving heavily. I pulled myself out of the bathtub, and I fell to the floor. My heart was racing, and my chest hurt as I tried to pull myself to the door.

"Fuck! Baby, please!" Cam was desperately pounding on the door with all his might, but nothing could open the door. I reached up for the handle, and grabbed it with my now, numb fingers. My hands and feet had stared to tingle all over and go cold and clammy. I yanked the door handle, and it swung open. I fell back to the floor, heaving for breath, and letting the tears sting my cheeks.

Cam raced in, and pulled me into his arms. He put his arms around my body, and held me tightly to him. His lips were right next to my ear kissing my cheek, and telling me to, "Breathe... in and out..."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and my legs around his waist. He rubbed my back, and I gripped the back of his t-shirt, tightly.

"Inhale for me babe, you're alright, okay? Let's just breathe slowly."

I followed him, we breathed together, nice and slow. And somehow, I caught my breath. I felt my lungs fill with air finally, and I gasped for more. I continued breathing with Cam, until I steadied myself.

We sat there on the bathroom floor, like that for a few minutes. He didn't let go of me once, he kept his tight hold, until my staggered breathing turned into normal huffs.

"That scared the shit out of me Angel," he whispered, after we had stayed silent for a while. "I heard you coughing and gasping; I knew you couldn't breathe, like the last time."

Cam had seen me the last time I had a big panic attack. It was a few months ago, in the car. We had almost crashed into another car, the same way that my dad and I got into an accident. And that triggered something inside of me. I cried heavily, the same way and I started to lose my breath. Grayson had helped me many times to catch my breath, by rubbing my back. So, I guess Cam had taken some notes, he did it almost the same as Grayson. The only exception was, that I wasn't straddling Grayson's lap the last time, boy that would be strange. Cam had held me nice and closely, and honestly I think it helped calm me down more. It was soothing, and the body heat helped a lot too. Thank God he was here, thank God I opened the door.

"I'm sorry," I hiccuped, "I didn't mean to scare you..."

"I know sweetheart," he kissed my temple softly.

"I'm sorry Cam," I said again, as a few more tears trickled down my face. I hated bringing people into my mess. Cam never asked for this, for a girlfriend who was as messed up as I was. I felt guilty that I worried him so much. I'm sure he'd run for the hills now. I was such a mess. I always tried to pretend, like I was sure of myself, and that I was confident. But in reality, I was fragile. He didn't need to be pulled into all of this. I decided I'd give him an out, before it was too late, "We don't have to do this anymore, Cam."

"What?"

"This whole thing. I'm fucked up. You shouldn't be with someone who's got all this baggage. I'd just be a big burden on you. So, we don't have to do this anymore."

Cam looked at me with a confused face, and wide eyes as I peeled myself off him. I pushed myself away and towards the wall, looking away from him. I didn't want him to see me like this; I hated this side of me.

"What are you talking about? Angel I-"

"Let's just end this, before it gets too complicated. You're free now, you won't have to deal with this shit anymore."

"Isabelle Diana Weaver, don't you dare," he said tightly. Cameron crawled back over to me, and before speaking again he lifted me back onto his lap. He cupped my face and forced me to look at him, "We are not ending this."

"Cam..." I moaned in protest. He didn't know what he was getting himself into; I was a train wreck.

"No Izzy!" Fuck, he called me Izzy.

"It's better this way."

"How?! Huh?! How could it be better, if we aren't together?"

"You don't have to deal with me like this again. I've got problems Cam. I'm not going to drag you down with me."

"You aren't dragging me anywhere, I'm choosing to be here. I'm choosing to be with you. I've seen you like this before babe... don't you think I'd have run back then? I didn't run; I'm right here, okay?"

"But-" he cut me off.

"Last night, I sat here, and I told you how I felt about you. I told you, that I'm fucking crazy about you. All these years, I've been trying to push that away, but it didn't work at all. You think, after your panic attack, I'm going to just up and leave you, because it's inconvenient for me to 'deal' with you? I really hope you don't think that, because if you do, you're wrong."

"Cameron..." I said, with tears in my eyes.

"Sure," he said and wiped my tears away with his thumb, "You've got things going on... you get anxious sometimes, and you occasionally get panic attacks. But those things are minor. They're not a deal breaker. We can get through this, together; I won't leave your side. We can do this baby, you and me..."

Holy Jesus! That had to be the sweetest thing, anyone has ever said to me. Listening to Cam fight for us, made my heart melt into a gooey mess. I hiccuped again quietly, and looked at him. He was so adamant about this, his brow was furrowed together on his forehead, and he didn't let his eyes leave mine, once.

I smiled at him. I let my hand travel around his neck, to rub my thumb against the bottom of his hairline, and my other hand lifted up to his forehead. I used one finger to smooth out his scrunched brows, and then I put my hand on his cheek.

"Are you sure, you want this?" I asked timidly.

"I've never been more sure of anything before. I want this. I want you," I smiled at him, a little wider, and he mimicked my grin before saying, "I want us."

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Hello Guys,

This chapter is a little short, so I apologize! I hope you guys don't totally hate me, because I've been MIA lately! But I'm back from my little vacation, and I'm super happy about that. I had lots of fun, but it's just good to be back home. I knew, I had to get something up for you guys soon; so here's Chapter 16! I've also got a few ideas bubbling in my head for a new story, since I feel like 'Complicated Love' may be nearing its end! I don't mean that I'll be wrapping up the story in the next two chapters; because that would be crazy. Besides, there are so many lose ends! But, I'm definitely seeing the end of the tunnel in a little while! Like I said, I've got other ideas for more new stories, and I'm super excited about them!

I hope you all liked this chapter, and make sure to drop a comment! I absolutely love reading them and honestly, they have motivated me so much! Thanks to everyone, who's stuck around this far! You guys rock!

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Comment Replies

Miha: Thank you so much! Yeah, Izzy's been having a lot of trouble with guys lately. But I think it's because Grayson's, whose been backing off since he's been with Brittney. She sure seems to have him tied around her finger. I'm glad, you thought the chapter was cute and fun! I was definitely going for that!

Oh wow, you're from Toronto? It's such a nice place! I love it! I'm from Vancouver, so the absolute other side of the country!

My boss is recovering, thanks for the concern! Hope you liked the Chapter 16!

Annie Brown: Oh! I'm sorry you were a little disappointed, but I'm glad you still enjoyed it! How did you like this new chapter?
What are your thoughts on Cam and Izzy's heated scene, in the story?
No thanks! I get uncomfortable reading sexual scenes.
Sometimes, I enjoy smut. But, just don't go too far with details!
Yes, please! I am definitely okay reading smut; include more!
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Published: 7/6/2015
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