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Confessions of a Color-blind Mind: A Short Story

The world was always black and white in her eyes. It was not until she met him that she saw the world in all its vibrant colors. Since then, she comes back at the exactly the same restaurant just to see him. Through ever passing week, she falls in love with the man with blue eyes. She has been in love with a man who would never know how important he is to her. Will she finally be able to tell him how she feels or will she be color blind forever?
I’m sitting alone on a table by the window in a cozy Italian restaurant wearing my favorite white strapless dress and a pair of 4-inch black pumps that I’d never wear in normal circumstances.

Tonight though is very special. I’m on a date. Oh, fine. It’s not a date. I’m here to stare at that insanely gorgeous man about two tables across from mine.

Yes, he always sits in exactly the same position every Friday night at 8 pm. And I’ve come to this same restaurant sitting across from him since I found out.

I adjust my eyeglasses and stare at him unabashedly. I’ve memorized almost every single detail that I could have, of his face. I’ve always been a sucker for beautiful eyes, but his eyes were the most remarkable I had ever seen. They were like a wolf’s eyes. They were dark and blue with a silver glint.

You would always feel as if he was staring right back at you, but he never does. No, he never notices me. That’s the reason why I openly admire him in such close proximity. He never looked back at me.

So here I am, stalking a man that would never like me the way I liked him.

And the thing is he won’t even understand why I like him. I guess I’d never get the chance to explain the many reasons that I’m in love with a man I don’t even know.

If I tell him, I risk the chance that he may leave and never come back. And I would never find a man like him again.

You see, I’ve never been able to see clearly. At first, my parents thought it was a normal thing. I couldn’t recognize green from red. I couldn’t distinguish the different colors in the Lego sets and I never saw hidden images in those tests with different colored dots.

That is when my parents were finally convinced that I was different.

It wasn’t because I was color blind. It was because I refused to see things as others saw them.

When everyone would gawk at a beautiful flower or butterfly, I would sit in the grass alone and stay quiet. While people admired the orange of sunsets, I would listen to music and close my eyes. While my sisters painted and took photographs, I would sit in a corner and comment at how creative they were. If only I would be able to see the real beauty of what they were making.

I was convinced since childhood that I would be this way forever. I was wrong.

It was a month and a half ago when I stumbled across this particular place. I was running from the downpour outside and since I forgot to bring an umbrella, I was drenched. The attendant didn’t spare me another glance as she led me to one of the tables, while I tried to comb my wet hair using my hand.

I probably looked like a drowned rat with my dress dripping on the floor. I didn’t care though. I never cared about the things around me. They were just black and white. There was never anything beautiful to look at, I didn’t feel the need to be beautiful either.

I ordered a pasta dish on the menu and asked for a hot drink to try to get the trembling feeling from my hands. I was looking for my cell phone inside my bag when I felt the air around me stop.

His eyes, they were the first thing I saw. I had never seen blue before. He slowly walked towards me barely glancing at anyone. It was as if time stood still and I finally saw everything around me clearly.

I never noticed how vibrant all the colors were. The lights seemed to radiate with yellow and orange. The greens of the plants led to the sharp contrast of the red and pink flowers. Suddenly, I felt more alive than I ever was for the past twenty five years.

I followed him to his chair, his back the only thing guiding me. I stared at his hair, a wavy mass of black with his neck peeking from his collar.

I didn’t even notice my hand rising up to touch him until he turned around finally noticing that I was following him.

He glared at me with his piercing eyes as if asking why I was so close to him. I could feel the rise of color in my cheeks and the heat in my ears as I immediately scampered back to my chair.

It was only when I got back that I noticed I was back to normal again. I wasn’t able to see the colors around me anymore. I sighed in defeat, knowing I was probably just imagining things.

It wasn’t until I rose and turned slightly to look one last time at him that my eyes turned into saucers. I could see them. I could see his blue eyes.

I had found the cure and he was right there sitting on that table.

And he’ll never know these things. I’m too much of a weakling to tell him how I felt. How was I supposed to tell him that he was the only thing I needed? How was I going to express how important his presence was to me? Without knowing it, he became my eyes. I could see only when I was with him.

I’ve been coming back to this restaurant ever since.

I watch him order the same thing he orders when he comes here. I glance at the waiter as he smiles in recognition and they talk for a bit before he leaves to inform the kitchen about his order.

I stood up. It was time. I clutched my bag and proceeded towards him.

I willed him to look my way. Just this once, I pleaded.

The seconds took longer than they were supposed to, but his eyes never met mine.

So I walked away, passing him as I closed my eyes with pent-up tears.

When I opened them, the world was back to gray.

Upon reaching the door, I noticed that it was raining heavily outside. I stayed in front of the restaurant trying to look for a way to get to my car which was parked a few meters away.

I was contemplating to run towards it when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You’re not thinking of running through the rain, are you?" A deep masculine voice stated from behind me.

I was going to retort something like: Why do you care? Don’t touch me!

It was a good thing that I stopped myself to turn around and nearly bumped my head into the chest of the man.

I looked up to see who was harassing me and there it was: blue.

He was smiling at me with an amused half-grin as I stood there with my mouth agape.

No words were coming out of my mouth. Speak you dumb idiot! I told myself.

"I… you…" This was not going well.

"You want to share?" He asked and I stared at what he was holding: a yellow umbrella.

"Sure," I answered, the smile forming on my lips.

He opened the umbrella and led me closer to him with his hand still on my shoulder.

I shivered at the proximity as we walked towards my car. He didn’t seem to notice or he was just nice enough not to comment.

As we reached my car and I was about to go inside, I turned around to say some words of gratitude when I noticed something different about his demeanor.

His eyebrows were in a furrow as if he was thinking hard about something. I also detected something else, he was nervous.

"Thank you for-" I was about to say, but my words were interrupted.

"I’ve been watching you." The sudden rush of words was accompanied by thunder from a distance.

"What?" I asked dumbfounded.

"I’ve been coming to this restaurant for about a month and a half now. I’ve noticed you ever since I first saw you. I didn’t know how to approach you without looking like some jerk who just wanted to pick up a beautiful woman. Is it just me or I felt you looking at me too a few times? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. See? I’m blabbering. This is not how I wanted to start our first conversation." He said with a nervous laugh.

I silenced him with a kiss. It was sweet and I felt the world around me fade.

I opened my eyes to look up at his eyes, "I’ve wanted to do that for a long time now." I said in a whisper.

"You don’t know this yet, but you are very important to me. My life will never be the same without you," I managed to say with adoration showing through my eyes.

"Wow! I wish I had said something like that." He said and we both ended up laughing together. He hugged me and I rested my head on his shoulder with a pleased smile.

The world stayed as it was around us, but in my eyes the world was finally filled with colors and they were more beautiful than I imagined.

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This story is dedicated to Butterfly. Thanks for inspiring me with your words.

Dear Readers,

Here I am again with another offering of a short and hopefully sweet story. Please, please leave a comment so I know that I’m doing the right thing by posting my stories here.

Thank you and I’ll see you soon through this huge world I call my imagination.
By
Published: 4/14/2014
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