Cutter's Angel

A poem self harm, it's really long but please read to the end.
You don’t look out the window
Don’t see time going by
Never know how many hours pass
While you just lay alone and cry.

Breathing heavily you whisper
Through a river of cold tears
"I’m a fucking failure"
Silently no one hears.

Your heart beats unsteady rhythm
Pounding in your chest
With your head in your hands
There’s no time to second guess.

You look at yourself in the mirror
And blink away the tears that fill your eyes
You bite your lip and look away
At the same time a part of you dies.

You notice a strange emptiness
One that you’ve never felt before
You clench your fist as you realize
You feel your life is just a chore.

You click your knuckles
And wipe your eyes
You’re tired of living
You’re bored of lies.

And with a shattered mirror
And a bleeding fist
You hold that blade
Against your wrist.

As you push it into your flesh
You ask yourself why?
"Why am I hurting myself?
Why should I die?"

But there’s no time for questions
You find yourself screaming
The guilt in your blood
You wished you were dreaming.

The sound of your blood
As it drips to the floor
You’re slowly going insane
Sickened by the gore.

But still you delve deeper
Showing no emotion
For your killer habit
You have so much devotion.

You stop yourself for a second
Knowing that you’ve done enough
You’ve bled out for the anger
And the life you find so tough.

You reach for your thread
And stitch up your wrist
And see that the windows
Are shrouded in mist.

You’ve finally had enough
You pick up your blade
You step outside and leave behind
That tortured past you’ve made.

You run down to the river
And stare into the freezing stream
Into it you throw your blade
Hoping this isn’t just a dream.

You drop to your knees
And with your head to the floor
This is the end of it all
You’ve walked out the door.

You stare into the water
And see a figure approach behind
Your hand quickly covers your wrist
As thoughts race through your mind.

You turn round to gaze into the eyes of beauty
The figure, he holds you in his blood stained arm
You feel so comfortable with this stranger
You feel so taken in by his charm.

He to throws his blade in the river
"Have you had enough of it too?"
You nod and close your eyes
Wondering if this is really true.

He holds your hand
And kisses your cheek
You breathe in deeply
His touch makes you weak.

You shake your head
And you’re back in your room
Your wrists have stopped bleeding
And you hope to dream again soon.

With tears in your eyes
You wished that you were able
To go back into those dreams
To again see your angel.
Published: 3/14/2011
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