Diary Entry #40

The diary of a girl living in the real world.
Here I am, alone again.

Man, I feel like this always happens. Life seems good for a while, and then something comes up that’s just so depressing.

Right now, I feel like I’m floating. It’s like people use me for the things I’m good at, to help them, and then I don’t get help from anyone when I need it.

You’d think that being an adult makes you stronger. Like the experiences you’ve had growing up with make you resilient to the things you face now. But that’s just not so.

My parents are getting divorced. Again, you’d think that since I’m an adult, I would be ok. But it’s not okay. I feel like a little girl. Because everything is different. Holidays are different. I can’t visit the house I grew up in. My parents are shells of their former selves. And of course, everyone is too busy to care about each other.

I wish that I were stronger. I see so many people facing adversity and still having a smile on their face. Are they just stronger than me? Or is it all a farce? Do they pretend that they can handle it? I guess I’ll never truly know.

I do know one thing. I have Jesus on my side. It’s hard though, to trust him, when I don’t always feel Him. Because he’s not physically around me. But I know that He truly cares for me, and I can always talk to Him about my problems. I just have to keep remembering that He’s right here next to me.
Published: 11/11/2019
Bouquets and Brickbats