Hate is Just the Beginning - Chapter 13

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Chapter 13 - The Silent Spectator

Keith woke up with his body feeling hollow. At times like these it seemed that the cigarette stick and its smoke was the one thing that filled him completely. His hands twitched and his lips were parched longing for the familiar smell of nicotine filling the air but he had been doing so well, seven months and not a single smoke, only he knew how difficult it was. Replacing cigarettes to camera was the most difficult thing he had ever done in his life. It didn't matter that photography was his life or the best thing that had ever happened to him, with cigarettes came the feeling of belonging even though he had started off by giving up to peer pressure. The irony of it wasn't missed. Other nights the cravings were subtle but this morning at 3, he thought he could feel the smoke in the air and every now and then he took a long breath in just to find disappointingly that the air was pure.

Usually going for a stroll with his favorite DSLR would subside the craving, but tonight the machinery seemed nothing but heavy. Despite the shooting pain in his arms, he started clicking pictures of nothing in particular in his room. Maybe in the light of the day and better state of mind he'd find something magical or irony filled in them, which right now in the cloud of his cold turkey experience couldn't see. Keith didn't understand his body's reaction at all. He had gotten used to the nicotine free life and even had admitted that it was better than ever. Then why was he suddenly so longing for a smoke? He was stressed out he answered then rejected the option himself. Stressed about what? About Mathews picking him out for a two-month tour in Paris? About going to Paris? Yeah, sure he didn't want to be a fashion photographer, but being around international model wasn't stress. Maybe it was worrying about Phoebe, he considered and immediately laughed.

He decided Phoebe would find a new boy toy the second he left town. Then suddenly his lens captured something from the hallway window looking through the parking lot. The same blob of golden hair that he had managed to capture a few months ago, Taylor. He backed up and zoomed in on the rushing figure under the street lamp, confirming that it really was her. He heard her footsteps, rushing the stairs twice at a time in the dead silence of the calm morning. She was there in no time and Keith found himself hiding in the half upraised wall outside his room which was meant to be used as a seat. His body's weight on his feet, his head stretched backward as if to make it look a part of the wall, his arms around his knees, he was trying his best to blend in. But all of it went unnoticed. Taylor ran past him noisily and without so much of a glance thrown at him. Keith expected a loud thud and bang at her door but she stopped.

Taylor took two or three deep breaths unaware of the questioning eyes on her, she stood there holding the door knob for a while. Taylor pulled her hair away from her face and tied in a comfortable bun and she slowly and soundlessly moved to her room. The sound of the click of a closed door, Keith didn't hear it. So with the thoughts of cigarettes out of his mind, he slowly moved to her dorm without thinking why. As he got closer, his guess was confirmed. She hadn't actually closed the door, maybe afraid of waking up her roommate. A single line of glimmering yellow light floated carelessly in the lightlessness of the dawn. Keith without a single thought clicked the picture of it and for the hundredth time he was thankful that his camera didn't make unnecessarily loud noise while he took the picture. His brown eyes silently traced the room he had been in maybe twice or thrice.

Lisa was sound asleep in her bed with her face buried in the pillow. Keith wasn't sure if she slept with the lights on or if she was up waiting for Taylor, no wait... what she called her... Lorrie. Keith chuckled a little as he remembered that morning when he was pulled out of bed for a forced apology. Keith decided Lisa was waiting for Lorrie. Taylor had already gone under the cover and the bed seemed to be shaking. There was no sound except a sharp aching breath being pulled in. Lisa stirred twice before finally waking up to Taylor's weeping sounds. Lisa's happy face immediately scrunched up with worry as she realized Taylor was the one making that crying sound. She jumped, literally jumped out of her bed and was holding Taylor without pulling the covers off her.

"Lorrie, is that you? What happened? Where were you?" Lisa asked getting worried by the second.

Keith, the silent and the unwelcome spectator found that he was worried too. He wanted to know what was going on. He wanted to be there helping Lisa figure out Taylor's trouble, chuck it off. But he didn't move. At that moment, he was watching a plot of a mystery movie come to life as it unfolded. He couldn't move.

Taylor cried now harder and Lisa's arm went instinctively above her. As soon as Lisa made that comforting move, Taylor sprang out of the cover and fiercely clung to her. Taylor's hair was a mess, she had been wearing the same clothes Keith had seen outside the restaurant the last evening and it was evident in her swollen face that she had cried for a long time, maybe even the whole day yesterday.

"Shh... shh... What happened, Lorrie? Did Keith do something again? Did he?"

Keith's eyes enlarged into a size that was scary for a moment. He couldn't believe he was even considered for the damage. What did he do? How could Melissa even think that he could make that fugly cry? Watching Taylor making no denial of the question, Keith started wondering if he had really done something wrong. He hadn't done anything. And the face of the guy from earlier came. flashing in his mind. He was the culprit not me! He thought. Keith once again pressed the capture button and took more than one picture, not sure why.

"No..." Taylor finally barely whispered.

Lisa waited for a reply she knew she shouldn't ask for.

"Ian... Jasmine... Kiss... Died..." Taylor cried unable to make sense of the word into a sentence.

"What?" Lisa asked just as Keith had wanted to ask.

"Who's Ian? Who's Jasmine?"

Keith remembered the tattoo on her neck and found that his feet had magically gotten implanted in the place. He couldn't move. It was just impossible.

"Jasmine is my sister." Taylor broke away from Lisa and pushed her tears away and pretended for a second that she was alright. "Was... Jasmine was my sister. She died..." Her voice got lower and lower.

As her voice got next to unintelligible, Keith realized for the first time that he was eavesdropping like some stalker. He was actually standing outside two girl's dorm peering in. Sure he wasn't looking for some action or didn't have some psychopathic intention on his mind, but he saw himself from the world's eyes and he couldn't help but call himself pervert. After all he did take pictures. Keith shook his head trying to wrap his head around the fact that he should walk away as silently as he came, but it took him a long time to move even though he was no longer listening to the girls inside. He just felt right there outside Taylor's room, as if his cold turkey was immune in front of that piece of wood called door. It was crazy but his longing for nicotine increased in intensity by each step he moved away from those crying girls. And he decided that he had to leave. He reached his room and unlike Taylor he didn't care if Dave, his roommate's sleep was disturbed. Keith immediately boxed himself inside his dark room and waited for the pictures to come into life. Keith worked on his pictures, trying to decipher why he had acted like a stalker that morning. But despite his questions his want to know Taylor, his worry for her didn't waver. He knew if he could do it all over again, he'd stand outside that door again, but this time he wouldn't walk away.

That thought, itself was enough for him to make him leave for Paris faster than it was necessary. He was sure if he stayed a day longer he would turn from a silent spectator to a stalker in no time at all.


Hey guys hope you like it! I know no Keith Taylor action, but still hope you like it!

Comment Replies:

Taylor Swift: So thanks again for your comment! Keep on smiling sweety!

Happy: Hope you're happy coz you are reading my story! Don't worry I will keep them coming!

Alice x: Well, I would tell you but then I'd have to kill you! But do keep on reading, you'll find out soon enough!

Gloria: Hey thanks for following me in twitter! Hope you like this chapter as well!

Annie M: Thank you so much for the comment! Hope you like this one as well!

Aashi: Oh, you like Ian? Great! Thanks for the comment! Hope you like this chapter even though there's no Ian in it!

Xeneb: Hey thanks for the follow! And thanks for your awesome comments as well! Hey the chapters about Keith! Likes??

Alma: Picture of Taylor? I don't know, I thought a girl being called fugly should be played by one's imagination! Taylor can be anyone you know! Just go with it! Hope you like the chapter as well!
Published: 7/17/2012
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