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If It's My Fault, Let Me Sink

I need to make my own decisions and mistakes. If those mistakes drown me, so be it, but they're mistakes I have to make. And sometimes, you can get close, but you never really get past those mistakes.
Sinking deeper into me,
Losing touch with everything,
Wondering how this came about,
Figuring out just what I'm now.

Let me stray,
And make my own mistakes,
Cause I won't learn anything,
If you keep me tied to strings.

I can't lose faith,
Though my faith's quite gone,
I won't be someone,
Else's pawn.

Keep me stranded,
In the sea's deep,
If I'm the reason,
Why I sink?

If I don't get free,
That's how it was meant to be;
I don't want anyone changing things.

But Here Am I,
Losing oxygen,
About to die.
So,
Will I surface?
Is this purchase of my life,
Refundable?
I don't know,
Maybe my mind's dysfunctional.

Unperturbed, I don't seem to be going anywhere,
But I think, with lack of despair,
"There goes my last bubble,
Never thought I'd go out this subtle."

My bubbles go upward,
They have so far to go,
How did I allow myself?
To be able to sink so low?

Thoughts... getting blurry,
As I... lose their view,
Would it be alright,
If I could go up there too?

The light's getting closer!
Though, somehow I've remained still,
I'll never make it in time,
The water... my lungs have had their fill.

So float up little bubbles,
All the way to the top!
Take my life with you,
But here,
I guess I was destined to stop.
By
Published: 2/7/2012
Reflections of the Mind...
Bouquets and Brickbats