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Impossible Love - Chapter Five

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind." - William Shakespeare, a Midsummer Night's Dream. After the long conversation last night Ally is now rethinking the whole Jasper thing... but she couldn't ignore the immense feelings she has for him... what should she do?? What would she do...?
It was morning time and it was back to work again. Ally was on her normal routine this time, her mind was not in the right place.

***Jasper's POV***

I wonder what's going through her mind. After hearing my story even I would run away and fast.

It was 10 in the morning and Ally did not message or called me. I was going to play this cool, not cluster her in any way. I was going to give her some time to think this through. But I was slowly dying inside.

This girl is truly different, I never met a girl in my life who thinks things through like this. It's like she is cautious about every step she takes in her life. I was so different from her...

When I was living in England, I was always a good student. But when I met my friends it was a different story. I had sisters and lived with both my parents, and my mother always believed in me.

I lost my virginity very early to a girl I can't even remember. I was wild, still am in a way. It was a different girl after a different girl and life was sweet. As I reflected on my life... I thought of Ally and home... she is such a shelter, amazingly kind, and sweethearted person. Every girl I have met, I was having sex with them by the second or third day I met them. It was the life. But not Ally... I wonder if she ever had sex?? Was she a virgin?? The thought just growled my blood, in my veins and it was as though she was as innocent as she seems. She was so pure.

The thought of hurting her was just terrible to me. I spoke to this girl once and I was already feeling things I never felt before in my life. It was similar to the feeling I got when I saw my son for the first time.

I don't think she would want to be with me... I don't think she would want me to be involved in her life... I was back to my depressing state and as the day persisted, I realized that she still didn't message me and I decided that probably it was best if she didn't.

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***Ally's POV***

I sat at my desk and all I could think about was Jasper. Why am I feeling this way for a guy I just met? I was a little confused... I was the type to never let a guy get in my way. I reflected on Billy and how we were good friends for so long. I loved him dearly. But for some reason I was never enticed to make a move on him and he never forced me to do what I never wanted to do. He knew me from my childhood days and I know he knew me better than anyone I knew.

But Jasper... Jasper was different. Jasper was the type to make moves and bring desires to reality. I was desperately attracted to him, it was unbelievable. I always thought, my type was the quiet humble type... like Billy, but little did I know that saying was really true. Opposites do attract. He is totally different from me. His lifestyle, the way he speaks, the way he dressed. I was actually missing his messages.

I was totally inexperienced with this liking thing since after Billy... I was thinking that this probably was being such a big thing for me because I was lacking this social interaction in my life for a long time. Probably I am confusing the real feelings with what I was missing and it was causing me to feel this way. I don't know... I was just in a mess.

I wanted to message him. It is not like me to judge people. I was more concerned about myself and wondering if I were being true to myself or if I were urging his attention because it was a while I felt this way. I was also concerned about my parents and what they would think about all this. My mother and all her big dreams for me... Just the thought of me disappointing them was a scary thought.

But I had so many uncertainties about Jasper, was he trying just to "get" me. A guy like him just doesn’t fall for girls like me. I wonder if he senses my inexperience. There were so many things going through my mind, it was unbearable. Plus this wasn't helping with school. So I would just not message him back.

Maybe he would forget about me. Maybe Lana could tell him I wasn't interested and in that way I wouldn't have to deal with him. I haven't seen this guy in person and he is already having an impact on my life. This shit is strange... I all said to myself. It was final, I am not going to message him!

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A week passed and Ally told Lana, she didn't want to speak about Jasper that there was nothing to talk about. Lana respected Ally's request and didn't mention anything to her about Jasper or to Jasper about Ally.

Things went back to being normal in a way. But Ally was more depressed and sad. Jasper was going crazy.

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***Jasper's POV***

I can't take this... I need to see her. Lana and Natalie were both packing up to leave and I knew that Lana and Ally would both meet up at the train station to go home. I decided that I would go see her before she met Lana.

I took the company vehicle and I headed towards the Ad Agency's office building. As I parked the black Ford pickup outside the building on the opposite side of the street, I patiently waited for her to leave. I thought to myself for a second, "what the f**k I was doing!" This is stalking, I said to myself.

I decided to just stop this and drive off but as I turned the ignition back on, I saw her exiting the building. The vehicle was already started, so it was hard for me to come out to get her attention. So I decided to just let her go on and I would drive off after. But I wanted to see her. I drove slowly in the afternoon traffic and I could see her gracefully walking down the block.

"Hmmm..." I said to myself. I want to talk to her. I drove past her and I stopped at the corner of the street before the Library's work building. I came out of the vehicle and stood at the side of the street where she could see me when she passes.

As she approached me, I realized she noticed me and I could feel my heart racing... "Hi!" I said as she walks up to me. I could see she was a little shocked, but I didn't really care I wanted to see her.

"Hi." She said.

"How are you, are you heading home?" I asked like I was unaware of her movements.

"Yes, I'm walking to the train station to meet up with Lana." She answered.

"Do you want a lift? I was just finishing up my last delivery for the day for the CEO." I said.

I could see that she was a little reluctant and I didn't want to force her, so I decided to just let it go.

"Am, well the station is just one block down, I could walk it, it's not a problem." She said.

"Ok, no problem." I said, I was getting the feeling she was shunning me.

"But if you are done for the day, do you want to walk with me?" She asked.

I was blown away. This girl is strange and just got me messed up. I was so shocked by her request that I locked up the van and I told her yes.
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Published: 1/30/2013
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