The most important strategic decision of human life is 'to choose life partner'. This needs to be a part of the vital stream of life cycle cause we (human) don't give birth not only for reproduction but also for a happier tomorrow. We think a lot, but most of the cases we choose the wrong person. That's why nowadays a social problem arises as 'Separation or Divorce'. Generally we hesitate to talk about this matter. But it is the issue on which either you get heaven or you may suffer the pain of hell in the entire life.
When we are going to choose our life partner, we try to get someone whom we love. But the important thing is 'get married him/her who loves you.' Now question is how you judge your chosen person either love you or not. For example, I say to my fiancee, "When women wear skirt, they look beautiful." It's a comment. The very next day my fiancee comes to me and shows a photograph of her wearing a skirt. Wearing skirt, or talking about skirt, or the present is not as important as she keeps in mind my words. She gives value of my words. Suppose one day she told me that I felt uneasy with the smoke of cigarette. She didn't forbid me by not smoking. But what I did. The very next day I met her after smoking or I started to smoke in front of her. Am I giving value to her words? Sacrifice is the main thing in love.
When you present a toy to a child, what it does? It will enjoy it for a few hours, then break it to see what is inside the toy, and finally try to fix it. Most of the cases they are unable to fix it. Remember, there is a child inside you. The statistics show divorce rate is high among those who know each other very well before marriage. In USA 70% of couple want separation within the first two years of their marriage. And the question is why? Because of family bonding. For the time being man is getting lose charm to his woman and vice versa. So it is better to get a child early age of marriage.
Most of us don't know what make us angry. Anger is enough to destroy you, not only you but also your surroundings. Please try to identify it and control it. To tell a lie is a common bad habit in love. There are some famous talking like "everything is fair in love and war", and many others, but for a real long term happy conjugal life every one must be honest to his/her partner. In fact, we think if I tell the truth I may lost him or her. Almost all get angry when they discover the truth. I think it is better to tell him or her about the critical experience of your life before marriage. Because I believe what is bitter today will be bitterer tomorrow.
In our marriage life we always blame each other. But we don't give time to come out of it. Is it not better to inform your partner about the fault to get rid of it?
We generally, male create pressure to do this, and, this. But it is not the right approach. For example, I like that my fiancee should keep long hair. I say to her, "See the girl looks beautiful because of her long hair. She has a great patience to keep it." Or you don't like your partner smokes. Please don't say to give up it. Request him/her, "Please don't come to me after smoking. Because it makes me almost faint, or its odor causes bad headache, or it feels me vomiting". If he/she loves you one day he/she will give it up.
Don't give authority to any 3rd party in your family problem. Try to solve it yourselves e.g. my father-in-law says, "Oh, my God! My daughter is now in great difficulty. She even not drinks water by her own, now she has to make tea." Or my mother says to my wife, "My son don't even wash his underwear, now he gonna wash the entire household."
Please start from zero. Everything present in your family are bought by both of your choice. It is a tough decision, but its impact is great. When you build a place by your own hand, you want to save it by any means. When you start from zero we also fall in love with the bed sheet, chair, table even with the teapot. For example, which question we prefer to answer in the examination. Obviously the question answers you made by yourselves. Sometimes we even not read a readymade question answer. Similarly you have not the same value of the gift and the things you purchase.
Sacrificing Mind, most of the cases a woman sacrifices 75-80% to maintain their family. But the problem is a man is not agree to sacrifice the rest of 25-20%. Please don't sacrifice 100%. This may give chance to your partner to torture you.
Don't expect too much from your partner. The more you expect the more you get pain. Naturally we want all good qualities in our partner. But is it possible? Hence be happy with what you partner is.
And the last but not the least, try to get marry someone whom you know a little. And try to know more about him/her after marriage. Later, find out what he/she likes or dislikes. Keep in mind that everyone has some better characteristics in them.
"Good Luck Everybody."