Going through a tough phase for almost 3 years now, she really feels useless to still be behind him. Maybe they aren't meant to be. Maybe it is better if they remain just friends. Maybe she is the least important person in his life. She wondered so many times, if she was that unlucky that someone would reject her affection that's beyond friendship. This made her feel so unfortunate.
"Does looks actually matter?"
"What made him say a no?"
"Am I that unfortunate?"
Failing was a lesson for her and she always tried to find the fault and rectify it. But, in this case, she was completely heartbroken and felt so unfortunate and the rejection had hit her hard.
He doesn't hate her at all. But, she felt, it's better he hated her. At least it would help her move on. He hardly replied to her texts, hardly ever spoke to her. He had his own life. She had no clue about where she stands in his life. He meant so much to her but it was a complete opposite in his case. He likes someone else. That's when it nailed some sense into her.
Sometimes, you can't hold on to something when it's not yours and it's ain't ever going to be yours. If you aren't destined to be together, you certainly aren't going to be together. "I'll keep waiting and someday he'll realize my love," will only happen in movies and your life is not a movie. Moreover, it's not the only thing in your life. You have a big life ahead. You need to make your parents proud and make yourself proud. The horizon is still quite far and your passion is struggling in your hands.
"Mind says let go, but heart says try," she said, but that's all cheesy bullshits. Get some sense and practicality.
And, you aren't rejected by anyone. It's just that, he is just unfortunate to get your affection or love, whatsoever you call it.
He ain't the one. He doesn't deserve your love. He ain't going to understand even after 30 years. Stop giving him the attention that he never deserved. He doesn't hate you and you don't have to hate him either. Maintain a healthy relationship less than just friends.
Withdrawing completely is not going to work as you know since your childhood. That's really unfortunate. But, time to move on my dear princess and you really need to let go of it right now. Don't let your trust over love fade away. There is someone who completely deserves it and is yet to find you. Your life is precious and you deserve to enjoy it and lead it as you like without hurting yourselves. You are your dad's little princess and it's really not right to hurt the Queen in you. Embrace the queen inside you.