Kiss or Kill? (3)

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I bash her head against the wet brick wall. She cries out in pain, horror and shock. I guess she didn't see this day actually happening to her. I guess, she must have foolishly believed that my death threats were empty as her pea-sized brain.

I can still remember the amount of times she called me an 'angel', a 'true princess' and a 'nice, good girl.'

"I'm not an angel!" I spat at her face. "Do I look like a walking dead figure to you?"

I can feel her shaking under my intense gaze. I grip her arms hard and dig my nails into her flesh.

"I am not a flipping princess!" I hiss. "Do I look so needy and helpless that I need servants to depend on?"

She cowers and whimpers slightly. Even now, a little part of her believes that I must be joking. A part of her refuses to acknowledge that I am a murderer at heart.

"I am not some nice, good girl," I whisper into her ears with venom. "I am my own worst enemy."

Suddenly, as if in slow motion, her tear drops down her face like black ink leaking from a feather pen. She's closing her eyes now. Her pink lips are quivering, but I'm not convinced she's truly scared. She opens her mouth to choke out in a pathetic, wobbly voice, "I-I'm s-sorry."

I laugh humorlessly. It's useless. It's pointless. She's useless. She's worthless.

At that moment, the world turns white as I beat the hell outta her. It all seems so quick, like the flash of a lightning, when I see her lying on the floor in her pool of thick, dark blood. She has always been so fragile, so weak. From the moment I saw her, I knew I could snap her in half with the palm of my hands.

I've killed her. I've finally killed her.


I wake up with the air escaping out of my lungs all at once. It felt like I was swallowing an entire ocean and trying to desperately resurface. I try to control my heavy breathing. My blood is pounding in my ears, beating with the sound of my hammering heart.

It's that same dream, I've had for the fifth time in a row.

It's so clear.

I can still see her face, so fresh, so vulnerable in my mind.

I tell myself that it's just a dream.

Just a silly dream.

I'm not a murderer.

Yet, even now, even so, in the bitter darkness of my room, I feel as if there is a monster within me. A monster that is caged between my ribs. A monster that is clawing at my heart, urging me to end her.

Could it be possible that I've seen the future in my dream?

I bite my lips and pull the skin off. I can taste fresh blood oozing onto my tongue. I crawl out of my bed and I'm welcomed by the slap of the frozen air. I breathe and, in the moonlight, I can see my breath floating softly like a mystic cloud. My legs automatically carry me to her bedroom where she is lying down peacefully on her single bed. I watch her body to see if she moves, breathes, snores or whispers in her sleep, but it's as if she's a frozen sculpture. A beautiful sculpture.

Her long, black hair is spiraled out across the cold, hard pillow. I don't know how she can stand that pillow. I prefer fluffy pillows, at least two balancing on each other before I rest my head.

Before I can stop myself, I'm stroking her hair. Softly. Oh, so softly.

Something burns within me. The monster is banging against my ribs, wanting to come out.

If I look carefully, I can just about make out a faint frown on her gorgeous, pale features. Her pink lips are luminous in the dark, resembling a precious rose.

How I want to rip out her pretty, little mouth and shove it down her throat.

It occurs to me that I've been staring at her for a long time like a creep.

Just maybe...
I am a creep.

I shake my head quickly, shaking away the thought. I back away from the sleeping figure.

No. Of course not. She's my sister. My best friend.

Quietly, I exit her room and return to my own room where I, once again, fall into the depths of my nightmares.


Comment Reply

Wanjiku Gaitho: Nice choice of wording. 'Callous' will be my word of the day. Thanks for reading!
Published: 2/24/2015
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