Lamentations: A Girl with Depression (Prologue)

This is just a peek/diary into the mind of a former insomniac, egotist, and sometimes, narcissist who suffers from self-doubt and anxiety all because the world we live in is too uncertain for her sanity.
Our conflicts were always messy. Someone was going to get hurt, that was guaranteed. Sometimes, I would close my eyes and give my problems to someone else... a fictional character who possessed all that I lacked such as courage, passion, fearlessness, integrity, and initiative. Not this time. I gaze into the mirror, my lifeless eyes are reflected there. Now, before you get all excited, I'm not a zombie - just an ordinary human being trying to stay sane but this fight has exhausted all of my energy.

There is no rest for the wicked they say. Every night I pray to sleep, but somehow I always wake up to sleep. Do you understand that? Do you know, do you realize how lonely it is to live inside your head? (not yours but mine in this case). You can never sleep. Peace and rest are a dream. You stand conflicted, ever unsure. Sometimes I wonder if this is payment for my sins. It's just that... I never meant for the situation to get out of control.

Today is the 22nd of November 2013 and these are the lamentations of a girl with depression.
Have you ever suffered from depression?
Yes, it's kind of chronic
Pshhh, what's depression?
I have my on and off days
Yes, I should be on suicide-watch
Published: 11/22/2013
Bouquets and Brickbats