Last Chapter

Letting him go, letting his power over me fade.
I wish you could see me, after all these years
I wish you could see all the changes I have made
I wish you knew how much stronger I am than before
To be able to see me for who I am now
And not that person I was years ago.

Times have changed and now I am able
To finally write down my last chapter
To be able to write down
What I am truly feeling inside
To be able to finally for once say my goodbyes
I wish for you one day to be able to read my letters
To be able to read all my unfinished goodbyes,
My unfinished words...

There have been so many things
I have wanted to tell you in the years we have been apart
So many words and so little ways of telling you
That won’t have me in tears or you dead in the end
So many times have I tried to tell you in person,
To be able to hear your voice for one more time
I thought if I spoke to you one more time
That when I was finally ready to write down my goodbye
That it would be easier than this
These words I want to say never finished until now.

I believe I am ready to tell you the truth
To finish those words I left you with
On that night I walked away
In my heart I truly did love you
But you never gave me the chance
You never knew I knew all your lies,
Your betrayal your cruel words
You never knew that I knew
You only wanted my sister
That you only used to me to hurt her
But I never told.

I will take our secret to the grave
But in my final letter I am prepared to speak
I am ready to let my past come into the truth
To be able to relieve to people who I truly am
For years I have kept our secret because
I still loved you and had a small hope
But I was only wanting what I shouldn’t have
You were the first to make me cry
And you were the last
I lost all I had when I said goodbye
I became cruel and cold because I loved you.

I kept those who truly loved me
For me at arm’s length
I never let people know who I truly was
I hided the real me.
I let people see the mask I created
But now I am prepared to drop that mask
So as I write down these words
Hoping one day you will read
And know that it’s too late
That I have won.
Our dirty little secret is out.
You no longer have power over me.
I am free.
Published: 9/9/2011
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