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Love Affair

Love affairs begin with 'we're just friends' and may even end there for some. However, they sure are a reason for worry, if your partner is caught up in one.
Affairs have two connotations. One, it's a secret love affair - an association commonly made with the phrase - and two, a union of two honest lovers. However, in my perspective, a relationship which is built on pillars of honesty and clarity, is a healthy relationship. On the other hand, one which defies every law of a healthy relationship, is an affair, which needs to be addressed as an impending cause.

Ever wondered why people take recourse to secret affairs? Where does it stem from and how does it begin? There are millions of people who are involved in clandestine relationships, other than their own existing ones. Some say its for an adrenaline rush, for the excitement, to fulfill the lack of love, for an ego boost or just to follow the trend too. However, all of these are facades of emotional infidelity. Emotional infidelity is a road to perdition for those in a relationship.

Signs and Reasons for an Affair

We're Just Friends
The relationship that you share with your partner, has always been honest with clear distinction of boundaries. However, suddenly, your partner has been crossing those boundaries, with convincing justifications. Your partner has been spending a lot of time away from you. He/she is regularly meeting 'a friend' for dinner and constantly on the phone with 'the friend', when at home. Know where is this leading to? When your spouse or partner begins to spend considerable amount of time away from you, it needs to be your concern. This is the start of an emotional affair.

Increasing Abstinence
An emotional connect brings two lovers closer, more than physical intimacy. It is the psychological connect that leads to physical closeness. If your partner has been showing abstinence, then it's a cause of worry and a probable sign of an affair. This happens, as your partner no longer trusts you about his/her hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities and every tiniest or overwhelming feeling. The ingredient of mistrust is going to act as a catalyst further motivating your partner into cheating. If your partner cannot make a connect with you at a mental level, then he/she is going to try to get away from you in every possible way.

Constant Demands
Constant demanding and nagging can get anyone irritated. Being far too pushy with your partner, is pushing your luck too far in a relationship. Unnecessary demands and going overboard with your expectations can withdraw your partner's involvement in the relationship. If you fail to see it coming, then the situation may get out of hands and uncontrollable. He/she may seek another affair, where the romantic inclinations are better understood and reciprocated.

What is an Affair?
An affair is everything that you want it to be. This hushed up secret affair, will cater to your emotional needs, social and if the need be your physical needs too. But what about the barriers? In the long run and in the practical sense, an affair is everything that you wish you never had. An affair, will always be surrounded by social barriers when it comes to expressing and excepting it. No matter what your reason is, to be in a clandestine affair, a secretive affair is limited by time. Most urban couples find themselves in extramarital affairs during their mid-life crisis. And why not when with so many responsibilities, there is barely any time left for each other's needs.

A romantic affair, always, originates from lack of emotional bonding. Thus, its important for both the partners in love, to work on their relationship every single day. A relationship is a joint venture, which needs to be revived every day and every breathing moment. Compassion, honesty, trust and love are some of the secret ingredients for a successful relationship. Add them to make the perfect dish for life. Good luck!
By Mukta Gaikwad
Published: 1/21/2010
Bouquets and Brickbats