Chapter Nineteen: Defy all Laws
He saw her backed turned even further away, and his heart gave a painful jolt. He hadn't given up on her, and he never would. But had she given up on him, so quickly, before he could tell her that he…that he…
… That he loved her.
He drew a deep breath, and lowered his arm. He focused on her beautiful features.
"Am I too late for you, Ana?"
A shadow of doubt crossed her eyes, and he knew at that moment that she had tried to convince herself that she loved and wanted another guy, but she hadn't robbed herself of her options…her options, namely, him.
When she spoke, her voice was low and kind of a murmur.
"Alexander, I can't do this. Don't make me question myself. You don't want me that much is clear. And yes, maybe I misunderstood my feelings at first, but now they are all clear. I can't…I can't stand the dreams, I can't stand hot and cold, I can't… I can't stand you, Alex."
"Anastasia, I do want you," he said softly.
Her lips parted slightly in surprise, then she blinked and shrugged, "Of course, you will want me tonight, as you have wanted me when we first met. And then you will tell you don't want me to be near you, and there will always be another woman out there for you, won't there? But I can't be one of those woman, Alex. I am in love."
Anger flared through him, cutting the regret and sadness. She was his. Whether she knew it or not. How dare she fall in love with…with that stupid pretty boy who wasn't worthy of her? How dare she?
He seized her arm. And tugged her into the storage room at the back of the room and locked the door behind him.
The room was dark with swirling smoke from the bar outside. He turned the knob for the light and sudden yellow glow filled the room. Alexander turned back to Anastasia, and took both her shoulders in his hand. He pressed her against the white stone wall and bent his lips close to hers.
"You are in love, I know, but with the wrong person, Anastasia."
He breathed out her name, and she closed her eyes, obviously enjoying the way he said her name. His hold on her tightened, and he would kiss her, no matter who she was in love with. Because she belonged to him, and she had ALWAYS belonged to him. In Heaven, on Earth, or in Hell.
She raised her eyes up towards him, and reached up a hand to his face. Her fingers danced lightly on his cheek, and a smile played against the corner of her mouth.
"I dream of you, Alex. Every night. And even when I am awake. In my dreams, you wanted me. No, you didn't only want me. You CARED for me. It may sound silly, but I hung onto those dreams, I wanted so much for them to be true. But they weren't, Alexander. The Alexander in my dreams was so gentle, and so absolutely beautiful. They are just fantasies. If you think I am going to give up Louis for an imaginary lover, you are entirely wrong."
He cupped her face in one hand, and traced her neck with the other.
"You would choose the imaginary Alexander over me, then?"
She hesitated, and cocked her head to the side.
He took her face in both of his hands, and his lips folded themselves softly upon hers. His wings almost exploded out of his back, and once his lips touched hers, both of his arms wrapped around her, holding her close. She responded with just as much passion, and her hand cupped the back of his head, molding her lips against his, and he knew… he knew that she wanted this kiss as much as he did. She had been dreaming about kissing him…even loving him.
Her hands slipped under his shirt, and her fingers ran up his strong stomach muscles to the round planes of his chest, taking control of the kiss and pushing him with her body backwards. They tumbled onto the floor, and Ana thrashed around him, pushing up his shirt and running her hands greedily all over him. Her lips never stopped pressing upon his, and beneath her, he hitched her dress up and ran her fingers up her thigh. God, if she had kissed the other guy like that, it would just add to the list of his plan of killing that guy.
Her hands locked behind his neck, and his lips moved down toward her jaw, then suckled on the crook of her neck, and she kept his head pressed onto her neck. Her breathing came in gasps, and her body moved to fit with his…
"Stop," she gasped, pushing him away and rolling off him. "Oh God, stop before I…"
Alexander closed his eyes and breathed into his hand. He was sure at that moment, she knew what would happen. Because it had happened before, when she was still an Archangel and he had fallen in love with her. That was a year before the Angels' War. But he hadn't loved her, or even WANTED her, as much as this moment. He would curse and kill anyone, angel or archangel or whoever, ANYONE who dared to take her away from him.
Her eyes reached out towards him, and she turned away, pressing a palm to her forehead.
"You couldn't just leave me alone, could you? Why do you have to tempt me like this?"
He almost smiled, but the possessive anger was still burning him from the inside, and he had to take in a few more deep breaths before he could answer her.
"You can't regret this more than me, I think."
Her eyes darkened, and she released his hand and sat up. Alexander quickly caught her hand.
"Where are you going?"
Her gaze lingered on his hand, and she hunched up her shoulders.
"I should be getting back. They will be wondering where I am. Especially my boy-" She cut herself off and shrugged off his hand.
Before she knew what was happening, he had seized her and rolled her under him. She let out a surprised gasp and her eyes widened in surprise.
Alex couldn't help himself. He was not supposed to fall in love with her NOW. He's supposed to be aiming for Heaven. But she mentioned her BOYFRIEND. And he couldn't stand anyone being her BOYFRIEND other than him. HE was her LOVER. Nothing would change that, no matter how many centuries. It is so freaking hard to hear her want and love someone else.
"Ana… I could explain things to you, but I just want you to believe in me."
"How could I? How could I believe you?" Ana asked sharply. "You are just a dream, for God's sake. When you…when you kissed me like that just now…You are still a dream. I don't know you, Alex, but I…I cannot ignore you."
He raised a hand to her face and touched her cheek, coming away with drops of tears on his fingertips.
"Ana…you are also a part of your own dream."
She closed her eyes and brushed away his hand.
"Alex…this is too much for me. What happened just now…things were crazy. And I can't allow craziness in my life. So please, please Alex, just let go of me and stay away from me. I can't…I can't be someone who you think I am."
She looked so confused and desperate that Alex wanted to hold her and keep her away from all the confusion. But he couldn't... not when she rejected him like this.
He had to let her go, and wait for another chance. Or even… let her go forever. But he couldn't let her go like this. He loved her. And somehow he knew, he should keep her away from that guy Louis. He needed to protect her. How could he do that without scaring her away? He stared deeply into her eyes, "Do you trust me?"
Her gaze faltered, and after a very painful hesitation, she nodded.
"Then believe me when I say I want you. I want you with everything, and I NEED you. I wish everything could be different for you. You could believe that I need you more than you could ever imagine. But you can't because you don't believe in me."
"How could I, Alexander Giovanni?" She demanded under his body, placing a hand on his chest. Her touch burned him to the inside, and he yearned for her; no matter how wrong it was for him to be so near her.
"How could I believe in you? You don't know me, and I sure as hell don't know you. We have NO conversation whatsoever. You kept popping up out of nowhere, and you never tell me what is going on, both in my dreams and in real life. I wish I could believe either version of you, dream or reality. But I can't. Alex…" Her hand ran up his chest to his neck, "If you want me to trust you, you need to tell me what on earth is going on right now."
He closed his eyes at her touch, and breathed deeply.
"Okay," he said finally defeated. Damn all the rules, he would tell her what she needed to know.
No one will ever stop him, not if he didn't mention it to his… his masters. And Josie, and James, and even Master Holland will understand. He concentrated on Anastasia. "Okay. I would much rather, you learn things in your dreams… I will be in your bed tonight."
Her eyes widened. Then her face flushed, "In… my bed?"
"I mean I will dream with you, we will go through everything again, together. Then you could piece everything together and I will tell you the whole story, our history. And then, you can choose whether to accept it, or forget it. Whatever you choose, I will go by your choice."
She seemed to think it over, then, at long last, she nodded.
He leaped away from her and spun towards the door.
"Don't keep me waiting, Ana," he whispered before turning the knob. "God only knows how much I need to tell you the truth." And then, as she blinked, he was gone.