A few days later things died down, Jenni was supposed to be arriving soon and Evan and I had been spending some time together. Mark and I hadn't gotten too close and I was starting to question things. It was Saturday morning and Jim and my mom were out for a parenting class.
I was laying in bed when I heard a soft knock, it was eight o'clock, no one was usually up this early on a Saturday.
"Come in." I whispered praying it wasn't my mom. It was Mark he walked in and sat leaning against the wall of my bed.
"Hanna," he said sounding serious "What's going on?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Hanna, I like you, I like you a lot. I think you are great but do you want to be with me?"
I sat up putting my hand on his knee, "Mark I love you, I like you a lot. But I don't know what I want right now, or who for that matter. Family things have spun me around and I haven't had time to think about a boy for a while. My mom is having a baby with a man who we all thought was better than my dad. My brother and sister are miles away and soon I'm gonna be the only one left. Mark you are going off to college next year, you are going to have a life, a girl, a family without us," I said.
He sat up straighter and said, "Hanna, this is my family now, it always has been. I love you guys more than anything and I would be willing to follow you to wait for you."
"Mark what about your brother and sisters, they need you. They need you to go to college and get a degree and get a decent job. They need you to love them and support them and be there for them, and I don't know if I can do that."
"We don't have to think forever just for now and then we can take things from there."
I shut my eyes, he leaned into me and kissed me, soft. I kissed back not wanting it to end but needing it to. When it did, I pulled away, "But is that all we have, a chemistry that can't relate to our feelings to talks?"
"Hanna, I mean it. I will do anything for you..."
"But because you love me or because you love me as your sister?" He stopped for a second and I could tell he contemplating this. "Mark it is okay, we tried it out, and maybe in the future it will work but I just don't want to jump into something neither of us are ready for."
"I agree," he said standing up "Hey Hanna." He said when he reached the door, he opened it slowly and said, "I love you, I always will."
I nodded and he closed the door, and minutes later Evan burst through the door, "Ugh, do people sleep?" I asked.
"Come on, so what's going on with you and Mark, what happened?"
"Evan, I don't know who or what to like. I love Mark like a brother, but I don't want to trick him into thinking I want to be with him forever. And Elliot makes me drool, everything about him is perfect, and everything about him is messed up and that's what makes him great. He talks to me and doesn't expect me to pretend but what do I need right now?"
"Hanna, I think you need someone to make you happy."
I nodded, "Well what about you?" I asked.
"Well, there is this one girl, and I was going to have her fly out here with me until I got Kaleb's emergency call. Her name is Brianna."
"Okay so tell me, like everything."
"Okay well, she is blonde and kinda short and she...." We talked for a good hour about Brianna... boys, school, football, makeup, and everything that a girl and guy would like.
It was something I needed. It's hard living without a family member and I know, maybe a little too much. But it's great when you know that know matter what he has your back.
Mark hadn't been back all day and I was worried but I couldn't let it occupy my mind. My mom said she was on her way home, I couldn't be in the same room as her overly pregnant stuck up personality. I got in the car and decided I was going to just drive around, get my mind off things, and soon enough I was on the street. But to be honest I don't know, how I got there.
But I was scared, I wasn't going to just knock on his door, that would be to surprising. I parked the car a few houses down and got out. I leaned against my car with my phone in my hand about to dial his number.
"Excuse me miss, can I help you?" A voice asked, I looked up, it was an older man, he was balding and had on a ratty old shirt.
"I was... um... yeah, do you know if Mark is home, I saw you come from the yard and I didn't want to just come not expected." I said blushing.
"Yeah, he's here, who's asking?"
"Me," I said "Hanna."
"Well nice to meet you Hanna, I don't believe we've met before."
"No, I don't believe..." I started but was cut off.
"What are you doing here?" Mark asked striding over to us, he was next to the man in seconds and I stepped forward.
"I just needed to talk to you." I said, "I needed to see you."
"Hanna, this isn't your place, you don't belong here. Everything you said was right, we live in two totally different worlds and I've pretended for long enough."
"Mark, that's not what I meant, everyone deserves better than what you've been given and I know I sprung my opinion on you but can't we talk?"
The man stepped forward and said, "You know sweet thing, I knew a girl like you, back in the day she got herself in with a boy like Mark and well things were never the same for her and I just think you should re-think your options."
I stepped toward him now ready to defend Mark, he was way better than this. "Can I just ask, who are you?"
Mark cut in, "You are not my father, I don't care if you and my mother claim to be married, you are not my father."
"Mark, I know it takes some getting used to but I know you'll..."
"Scott, that's all you'll ever be just another one of them, another boyfriend another scum, now get lost, because I can assure her that if she hangs around someone like you then she might be screwed."
He started to back away and acted like he was going to say something but turned and headed toward the house.
"Hanna," Mark said turning back to me, "I don't know why you are here..."
"Because Mark no matter what happens between us you are still a part of the family and I need to talk to you sometimes, you just can't disappear, I will find you." I said smiling.
He stepped toward me, "Look, with the baby on the way and things getting crazy I can't stick around. I'm just another mouth to feed and it gets to be a lot, so please Hanna maybe this is for the better."
"Mark maybe we weren't meant to be together, maybe we won't last, but you will always be like a brother to me and well I need you, and you need me admit."
He laughed and then looked back at his house, "This will never be my home," he said.
I nodded and just then my phone rang I looked at it and it was Evan.
"Hello?" I said.
"Where are you Hanna get home now, Jenni is here, we need to go to the hospital, get home now!"