Although, the joy of having a child and starting one's family is unmatchable, yet, once the baby comes into picture, the added responsibilities, changes in lifestyle, certain financial problems, etc. can fade the initial euphoria of creating a life in no time. Many of the problems which a couple faces, can be avoided if the couple has carefully deliberated whether or not to have a child. Marital problems can also be avoided if the parents are willing and mature enough to handle the additional responsibilities. However, even if the couple is prepared for a baby, there are still some issues which can arise. Given below are some of the commonly observed marital problems experienced by new parents.
Lack of Emotional Connection
With the coming of a baby, it is but natural that all the attention of a mother is devoted to her child and his needs. At this time, a man might feel neglected and thus starts drifting away from his wife. This continues till the child grows up and begins going to school. All the couple may sometimes talk about in their entire day is when to pay the child's fees, who is going to pick him up from school or which hobby class he should join. When couple's life starts revolving around the child instead of each other as it used to be before he was born, it may create an emotional distance between the couple and may sometimes even lead to marital separation.
Lack of Physical Intimacy
One of the most commonly experienced problems is lack of physical intimacy between the couple. It is a known fact that majority of men are not comfortable with changing nappies or holding a crying baby at night. In fact, many men get so irritated when a baby cries that they might shift bag and baggage to a separate room. A woman gains a lot of weight while she is pregnant and thus may not feel comfortable being naked in front of her husband. All this coupled by many a woman's lack of sex drive before and after giving birth to a baby due to hormonal changes and fatigue, can decrease or sometimes altogether stop any form of physical intimacy between the two, thus deteriorating their relationship further.
Lots of Conflicts
Another marriage issue after children that may arise is the increase in conflicts between a couple. Most women today expect their husbands to share all household and children-related responsibilities with them equally. Some men do chip in once in a while but when they have to cook and clean or take care of the baby on everyday basis, they might feel restricted and incapable of handling such responsibilities. On top of that, the woman might not be giving them enough due or attention as all she is concerned about is her baby. This situation can thus lead to lots of fights between the couple. From the woman's point of view, if the man is not sharing the responsibilities with her, she might find him insensitive and retaliate by fighting. All these problems after giving birth can cause a lot of strain in the relationship between the two.
After having a baby, a woman might decide to take a break from work for a few months or a year to devote her time to the newborn. This can create a situation wherein the family has to spend more now due to the baby but its income has reduced considerably. Also, if the woman has always been working, the initial euphoria of motherhood and staying at home to care for the baby can give way to resentment and guilt of neglecting her professional life. Such financial issues are often a cause of trouble between the couple and if aggravated can lead to divorce.
Most of the marital problems after having a baby can be solved provided the husband and the wife work at their marriage. A wife should appreciate her husband for whatever help he provides in the upkeep of the house. The husband should romance his wife with flowers, poems and taking out her out on dates like he used to do before the baby arrived. A husband should compliment his wife and reassure her that she is still the most beautiful woman for him. Besides these romantic gestures, making a list of household responsibilities and dividing them equally between themselves, keeping the finances in place before contemplating having a baby and generally being patient and accepting the changes are few things that will help in avoiding and solving these problems.