"So now you want to eat, eh?" Mom says in her loud, annoying voice. Like what the hair gel is her problem!
"Yeah, I do actually. But I'm not gonna eat your ugly crap," I answer back cleverly. Take that, fatso!
"You can't survive with toast and beans alone, I hope you know," Mom says annoyingly.
"Watch me!" I hiss like a venomous snake. I just know she's scared.
No one dares messes with me because they know I'll kick their asses if they do. I'm the most popular and well-feared girl in our school. I have three other besties who are only popular because of me. Without me, they'll be nothing. You get moi?
My first bestie is called Rumba. She'll always be my number one bestie out of them all. We've been besties forever. We have so much in common! We are like sisters! We're gorgeous. Well, I'm more gorgeous than she is. I know it. She knows it.
My second bestie is called Frankie. She can be so-annoying at times 'coz she thinks she's better than me, well, she acts like it, but I forgive her because she is actually the ugliest one out of us. She has this disgusting, big nose which takes up most of her features. It also looks plastic. Like yuck!
And lastly, there's Janet, but we all call her Jan-Jan. Actually, I started calling her Jan-Jan to begin with, and then the others caught on. Obviously you can see I'm the creative one in our group.
There was this one time when I scribbled on my sister, Maria's work and made it look heaps better. She was so angry and ungrateful to me. She actually tried to punch me, but I have excellent reflexes so I ducked in time which made her hit her fist against the wall instead. She broke her hand that day and she went around telling people that it was my fault, but, like, no one believed her because I said so. Anyway, then her art teacher found the piece, the one that I improved and she herself said it was impressive. Maria didn't thank me one bit! I helped her and she was bitch to me! Like, can you believe?
"What's that burning smell?" Mom comes running into the kitchen, panicking like a psycho. Her eyes widen when she sees me. "You've burnt your bread!"
"Oops. Oh well, whatcha gonna do?" I say, throwing away the black bread.
"Get out of the kitchen! Now! You silly girl, you're wasting bread as well as electricity. Why are you so careless?!" Mom growls stupidiotically.
"Shut up, Mom. You are so annoying. Gosh. Like, take a chill pill," I say with an eye roll.
"Don't tell me what to do, you spoiled brat! Get out right now before I yank you out of here!" She threatens stupidiotically.
"Ooh, I'm so-o-o scared. Not."
I storm outta there and run upstairs. I slam my door shut, ignoring my screaming mother. She is the worst parent ever! Gosh!
I call my friend, Rumba.
"Pick up, pick up, pick up your ugly phone..." I mutter. As if by magic, she does! Have I told you I'm awesome? 'Coz I totally am! I think you've already figured that out by yourself.
"Hey, Rumba-ba-ba!" I happily greet.
"Hey, Son-Son-Son! How are ya, darling?"
"Babes, the word isn't 'darling' anymore. It's 'babes', 'kay?" I say.
"'Kay, babes. So how are ya then?"
"Eurgh! Like I'm so, so, so frustrated! I got a massive migraine! My neck kills and my back aches! I feel like screaming and crying! I am so upset, like you would not believe how upset I am! No one seems to care about me!"
"I care, babes."
"Yeah, but no one else cares about me - especially not my Mama. She actually threatened to abuse me!"
"Yeah, I know, I know. Worst Mom ever! And I didn't do anything to her! I was just upstairs, in my room, mixing some eyeshadow colors when all of a sudden, she randomly starts shouting at me, screaming stuff and saying she wants to kill me and wishes I was dead. I didn't do anything, anything to her! I was so upset as well 'coz she's supposed to be my Mama-ma-ma and what kinda Ma does that? Then she starts saying stuff like how I'll get gastricsons!
"Oh my go - I mean, glob! What are gastricsons, babes?"
"They are like death-threatening and I think you turn into zombies!" I say, hating the thought once I said it.
"Zombies! What! Are you serious, babes?" Rumba asks worriedly.
"Yeah I am, babes. I really am," I say sadly.
"This isn't good. We have to take you to the hospital!" She says, panicking.
"I don't think I can ever get it, babes. My blood type is Z minus A. I am the only person with this blood type. No one else has it. Therefore everyone will be affected and not me because my blood type is special. Not yours or anyone else's."
"I don't think your blood type is Z minus A, babes," she says.
"Whatcha say?" I say angrily.
"Nothing, nothing, I just said 'Oh my glob'!" She quickly says.
"Of course, babes. I wish you the very, very best of luck in surviving the deadly zombie disease. I would stay back and help, but, like, I can't because, you know, I just can't stand zombies. They're so disgusting and gross and seriously disgusting!" I say, shuddering.
"Uh-huh, so do you wanna meet up and go shopping?" She asks.
"Not now. Soz, babes. I know you were looking forward to hanging out with moi, but it isn't the end of the world. Try not to cry, 'kay?" I say, chuckling.
"No worries, but how come you can't come?"
"Dirty thoughts!" I shriek with laughter. "But in all seriousness, I can't 'coz Mom won't let me and if I try sneaking out, like last time, I'll only get into trouble with my Dad 'coz she'll only tell off me. You know what she's like. She'll accept every opportunity to get me into trouble. Like, ergh! I swear I would be a better Mama-ma-ma then she ever is. I would never abuse my children and I won't ever get all bitchy on them. I'll give them anything their heart desires because I'll be the best parent there ever is."
"Yeah, babes. You're the best there ever is. Anyway-"
"Aww! Thanks, babes!" I say happily. Can you see why I love my bestie so much? She is so, so, so kind and caring and gorgeous, but not as kind and caring and gorgeous as I am. Obviously.
"Yeah, so, anyway, I gotta go. Bye!" Rumba says.
"Wait! I haven't finished ranting!" I say, disappointed.
"I'm so sorry, babes, but I really gotta go. Tell me tomorrow at school?"
I smile. "Sure thing, babes. See ya! Mwah! Take care! Love ya! See ya!"
Our conversations are always better than anyone else's.