Me, Me, Me! It's All About Me! (4)

"Sonia? Is that you?"
"Owww! Why the fishsticks are you slapping me for?" I ask angrily. Like, what the hair gel is her problem? What kind of Mama-ma-ma abuses her own child? Gosh! I should seriously report her to the po-po so they can give her a good whack in her big, fat belly.

"You disgust me. I pray to God that no one else has to suffer with what I have," she says stupidiotically.

"You asked for it! You had sex with Dad so what did you expect?" I ask.

She slaps me again, and I punch her. Self-defense, right? Then the mad elephant pulls at my beautiful hair! So I kick her really hardly in her big, fat belly which makes her scream so loudly that it doesn't surprise me if people in China can hear her because she is so, so loud! Unbelievably shloud-loud!

Shloud-loud. My word. Hehe!

"Mom!" Maria screams stupidiotically while she holds on to her heavily bleeding nose. Gross!

"Christ! My stomach! My stomach!" Mom cries stupidiotically. "This bitch kicked my stomach so h-h-hard!"

She falls on the floor and rolls about like an elephant while continuing to scream her fat lungs off. Eurgh! Like, what an attention seeker! She is way worser than Maria! Gosh! Stupidiotical woman.

"Don't you dare call me a bitch!" I say angrily. Obviously I can't let Mom get away with that so I spit at her ugly, smelly face.

"God! Help me! Have mercy on me!" Mom cries stupidiotically. "Please take me away! Take me away from here! Please, God, please!"

"Oh, shut the fishsticks up. God doesn't give a bird's poop about you," I tell her. She really is so stupid! I hate her with all my guts. Gosh! Arrghhh! Can you see how hard my life is? It's impossible for anyone to stay sane, but because I'm not just 'anyone', I can thankfully stay sane. No one else. Just me.

"Go die!" Maria yells stupidiotically at me. "Do us a favor and fucking kill yourself!"

"Why would I want to listen to a tramp like you?" I question. Then I spit at her face too. The dog deserves it. Yeah, I think she's a dog. She acts like one and barks like one and is really disgusting just like a dog. I hate dogs. I hate my sister more, but I obviously hate Mom the most.

"Please take me away from the Devil's girl!" Mom sobs stupidiotically. Oh my glob, she's still at it! She clearly wants more and more attention. Hmph!

"I want God to kill you too," I say to her. Just at that moment, Maria gains enough courage to dare spit at me. But I have awesome reflexes so I move away in time. I jump out of the bed and push her hardly so she falls to the floor. Then I spit at her again.

Mom is getting up now.

"Oi! You Devil's girl! You are no longer my daughter! I am a stranger to you!" She says stupidiotically while pointing a fat, ugly finger at me. She shows me her ugly, big eyes. Like, yuck!

I clap my hands together excitedly. "Oh wow! Yay! I'm so, so glad you're not my Mama-ma-ma anymore! Now I can do whatever I like! Yay!"

With that, I quickly grab my bag and run downstairs.

"Oi! Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" The huge elephant asks me as she stomps down the stairs while holding dramatically onto her stomach and making retarded noises of pain.

"Outside. Why should you care anyway, Leila?" I ask as I pull out my key from my bag. I watch as she flinches when I said her name. Hah! Take that, fatso!

"If you fucking take one step outside, I swear to God I will tell your father," she threatens stupidiotically. Yawn, yawn, yawn! We had this conversation before and it really does bore me when she brings up Dad into this. Like, what the hair gel? Can't she do anything herself? Nah, 'course she can't 'coz she's clearly a lazy, fat son-of-a-bitch who is so stupidiotical that she makes dogs like Maria look smarter!

"Whatevs," I say with an eye-roll. And then I step outside. It's pretty cold, but I don't mind. If it means escaping that stupidiotical fat elephant and that disgusting dog, then I don't mind a little bit of coldness. She starts screaming so loudly that the neighbors across the street are looking my way. How ultra embarrassing!

"Shut up and do one," I hiss at her like a venomous snake. I expect her to be scared, but she's too much in a state to pay any attention to my orders. She whips out her phone and begins dialing who I assume is none other than Dad. This gives me an even bigger reason to run. And run superduper fast!

So I do while she chases after me. Hah! I'm way faster than that fat elephant! She's already slowing down due to her fatness, and also apparently because her stomach is killing her.

Unfortunately, Maria had just come outside and that elephant told her to run after me. Knowing Maria, she listened to that elephant's instructions like an eager dog trying to impress their fat owner. And she's really fast too so she's catching up to me. Argghhh! Eurgh! I need to slow her down, but how? Argghhh!

Eureka! I know! I'll punch her nose. Even a touch should bring her down, considering her condition. Hah, I am so smart for my own good that I should become the president. I have what it takes to be a president, don't I? Yeah, you're right, of course I do!

I was going to stop, but then I realize the area that I'm in. Like, what the hair gel! I don't recognize this creepy place! It's so creepy! Gosh, it's like really creepy. It's got these small, creepy-looking houses that give off the impression that some creepy old lady is spying on you through her small window. Oh my glob! That is so creepy! But I'm not scared of anything. I'm pretty sure any other person would have fainted, but not me! I'm just that awesome and brave, I know.

I continue running. I need to get outta that creepy place. While running, I turn my head back to find that Maria wasn't chasing me. She wasn't anywhere in sight. I hesitate for a second and then stop myself from running.

What if something bad happened to her?

Okay, so, like, I know I'm supposed to be all angry with her and stuff, but I hate to think that some creepy old lady has kidnapped her and is torturing her. Oh my glob! That is actually a scary thought, but it doesn't scare me one bit. After all, I am the Queen of brave!

I have to help her. Like, it is my duty! I have to protect her 'coz she is so, so weak and stupid! She'll go off with strangers because she has the brain of a dumb old dog.

So I turn back and run in the direction that I've come here.

"Maria! Where are you?! Maria! Maria! Maria! Come out and show yourself! Maria!" I yell as shloud-loudly as I can. "MARIA! Come and get me! Maria! Maria!"


I jump from shock. What the fishsticks? I'm pretty sure I heard someone say my name. Whoever said my name spoke all soft and creepy. Is it Maria? No, it can't be. She doesn't sound anything like that. She's more louder and has a way more annoying edge to her voice. Obviously she got it from that big, fat, smelly elephant.

Eurgh! I'm getting fed up of searching! Why can't it have been that elephant instead of Maria? I wouldn't have given a damn then. I'm honestly serious when I say that elephant needs to go die - and soon! Like, seriously!

"Sonia? Is that you?"
How is the story so far?
It's annoying! I don't like it one bit.
I find Sonia annoying, but I like the story.
It's boring. 'Nuff said.
I really like the story! It's great!
I think it's okay.
I find this story offensive and stupid.
I love it! Continue!
Best story I've read so far.
Worst story I've read so far.
Published: 3/30/2013
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