For once my heart actually starts to race like crazy even though I don't know what's ahead. It has been awhile since my heart acted this way and to tell the truth... I kind of like it; the feeling of my heart dancing inside. It dances in a beat, the beat which reaches all the way to my ear and messes up my head.
Please stop this nonsense sweet little heart...
It keeps going and what's worse, my cheeks start to burn including my ears. This feeling... it feels so familiar... I felt like this before....
A flash of memory, me and Taylor were playing in the playground appears in my brain. I remember that today, in this moment as well. It was in my childhood. Whenever Taylor comes over, these feelings inside me come out. No matter what I do, it won't go. He has always been the one who makes me feel this way.
"We're here," Taylor said holding onto my shoulder.
I raise my head and feel a fresh air blows through me as if I'm outside in the wild, "Are we still in the house?" I asked, wanted to know where we are badly.
"Open your eyes and see," he said with his sweet voice that include a bit of excitement.
I lift the eyelids of my eyes upward and a view of beautiful forest appears around me. Few miles away from here, I could see the town I lived in and if I look even more closely, I could see my house, my small little house that is full with memory. The clouds seem to be right above me flowing, while the sun coloring it with bright red orange. The smile hangs onto my face which I couldn't seem to drop it as I stand at this very spot. I love it.
"We're here at the right timing, this time of day shows the most beautiful view," Taylor said looking at his watch smiling as well.
"The view is great and peaceful," I said walking to the edge of the terrace and sit onto the ground, hang my feet in the air. Below me are treetop and the wall which only seem few feet high.
"Do you like it?" Taylor asked sitting next to me looking forward at the view.
"I do, thank you for the surprise," I said while my heartbeats increase and so are the burning on my cheek. This feeling reminds me even more of the happy memories of my childhood which now I remember, I locked it up after Taylor moved away. Now I think about it... Why did I ever lock it up?
"As long as you're happy, I am happy too," Taylor replied, before I could react, "Remember me saying that to your? It makes me sound like I love you," he added as if he is reading through the memory we share, "E, you're like a little sister to me and I wouldn't want to do anything to ruin that."
Oh.... The beating of my heart suddenly stops for some good reason and so are the burning.
"You're like a big brother to me too and we won't keep secret from each other, right?" I force the word out of my mouth since my brain freezes up out of nowhere, as if there is an important feeling which I locked up as well. Taylor nodded.
"What did Emma have against you?" The sentences slipped out of my mouth determined to know what it is.
"Did your dad abuse you even more after I'm gone?" Taylor asked as quickly as I finished the sentences.
"Why do you care? You left the town without saying goodbye! Why do you even care now?" I screamed on the top of my lung and ran into the building, down the stair.
I arrived at the window we came in but through all the frustration I couldn't get through it easily and run away. I then pick up a wood and smashes it against glass; expressing my anger.
"You're still the same," Taylor's voice appeared behind me.
"And you're a jerk!" I screamed at him as I continued to smash the window into thousand of little pieces.
"Yes... I actually am," Taylor mumbled, but through all the glass breaking noise, I didn't hear him at all.
Instead the wood slips out of my hand and smashes against my forehead. The world becomes darker and darker by the second as I drop onto the ground and lie there hearing Taylor calling out my full name for the first time in a long while. Soon my eyes completely close and I fell into deep sleep.