It is 11 pm right now! Way past the hospital bed time for all patients. Taylor and I sneak out of our room and carefully walk across the hall without being notice by a nurse.
I have been telling the adventures of our past to him for the past few days and there are so many things he wants to try to relive the moment. And I couldn't be happier to help him with since these days had been the best days ever since he comes back to me. These days are the only days I feel close to him again like when we were child, the days I get to talk to him like a child.
Our first intention was to have a paint fight, but it will turn out very messy and we will get into a lot of trouble, so we place that plan on delay for now. Now our second intention is to skate on ice or roller skater, we don't care. All we want is to have fun like the winter of our childhood year where our parent took us ice-skating.
Since it is not even close to winter, we choose roller skate in the part or somewhere with open area. I already had rent out the shoe from the hospital this afternoon when doctors come visit Taylor again for the second time today.
When I meet Dr. Rose on the way back from renting the shoe, she grabs me by the arm and informs me again about how dangerous it is for him to exercise or even run because it might damage his brain. I give her simple nods then went back to the room actually consider the danger.
When I try to back out of this roller skate plant, Taylor spend hours and hours convincing me he is alright and how much he wants to remember our old memories to the point where I couldn't say 'no' to him.
Now here we are sneaking into the fire escape staircase and racing down the stairs while I keep reminding myself to look extra careful after him.
We exit out of east side of building as I am about to lead him to the nearest park, "Elisa," he call out like how he used to call me back when we were kid. "Do you want to skate in the parking lot?" He suggests, "It is close and there isn't much cars."
I turn to look at the surrounding, "Ok, it looks fine to me," I reply walking to a bench and sit down putting my skating shoes on. He sits down right next to me as he does the same.
"Elisa?" He calls out, drops his head to the point I couldn't see his face "Would you tie my shoelace for me, I don't know how to do it...." he asks still wouldn't look at me in the face.
I chuckle in silence, "It's ok, you didn't know how to when you were a kid either, but I guess you still haven't learned how to, yet meanwhile 9 years had passed," I say finish up wearing my skate and then kneel down on the ground to help him with his.
He immediately straightens up his upper body and turns his face away hiding his embarrassment, "Thank you."
Taylor hasn't changed much after all these years... or I should say 'He had been hiding his personality before he loses his memory.' Now it didn't matter as much since I just want him to have his memory back, to know who I am and what we are.
"You're very welcome," I finish tiding his shoelace and stand up on my feet almost fall; it had been a long time since I last skating.
Right now, right here, I feel as we have gone back to first grade where we still very close. The only problem is if he get his memory back... the far distance between us before will surface, where he sees to be so far away even he is right next to me.
He stares at the roller skate for a moment then lift his head, "Let's have a race," he stands up with enthusiasm, "Last one who arrives at that red vehicle near the gate is a chicken," just when he finishes his sentence, he starts to skate.
"Hey, no cheating," I shout chasing after him, starting with small steps afraid to fall down and hit my butt. Soon enough I get used to the shoe and I start to run after him.
It was too late though, he was already at the red vehicle smirking with his accomplishment, "Slowpoke," he smirks even more, sticking his tongue out.
I hold my index finger along with middle finger out like a scissor and try to cut his tongue as a joke. He skates backward avoiding my attack, "You can't get me that easy," he smirks again with even more silly facial expression.
Out of nowhere his skating speed increased as he gong downward follow by a large crash. I rush over worry about him and find a hill lead into the ground floor.
"Taylor are you alright?" I shout standing where I am.
"Yes, I'm fine."
"Are you hurt?" I ask searching for his shadow.
"No, but I hit my head pretty hard."
I cover my mouth, regret. Regret begin to take over my heart, my body and my mind. I should have sneaked out with him in order to play; he is supposed to rest and stay in bed....
"Elisa," he calls out one more time, but I couldn't bring myself to answer him, "I was right," he adds. "You do look cute cover with paints."
"What?" I ask confused, "What are you talking about?"
He appears at the bottom of the hill with big fat smile, "You look so damn cute as a child," he says titling his head, "but you look even beautiful now."
My mouth drops right open. Words disappear; only tear shows up in the corner of my eye.
"I can't believe you remember all of our memories. I thought you had thrown them away ever since I moved," he continues to speak while walking up the hill.
I shake my head side to side still couldn't find the right word to say.
"I'm sorry to assume that, I thought you're mad at me for leaving you without saying a proper 'Goodbye'," he says standing right in front of me. "You are the best friend I ever have, I am so lucky."
He calls me his friend.
But yet, I feel disappointed...
"You are my too," I finally open my mouth and squeeze those words out of my mouth.
Oh crack, that fall hurts. When I hit my head against the wall, I literally feel as if my head have been slid in half like a watermelon. But along with the pain imagines appear follows by huge head race.
When I was able to drag myself from the floor all my memories show up. My life flashes before my eye. It seems beautiful and yet lonely especially the memories without Elisa. They appear dark and sad as if Elisa is the sun that light up my world.
I start to talk and walk up the hill, approaching Elisa. Glue my eyes at her. But to tell the truth I have no idea what the hack was I saying at all since all these noise or some kind of whistle noise dances around my ears blocking out my own voice.
Soon I fall down as the entire world gone dark. I lose conscious.
I scream for help, but no one hears me, no one is awake, no one willing to help. Is this my fault Taylor gets hurt again. I should have listened to Dr. Rose instead of listening to him. He didn't know his body, he didn't know his limits, but yet I my heart keeps telling me to ignore Dr. Rose's instruction.
Now I had calm down a bit, I realize.... How foolish I am.
I lean against the nearest wall as I place his head on my laps. I place one of my hands on his neck feeling his pulse meanwhile, I lift my head toward the sky admiring the beautiful star. Wish to turn back the time. I couldn't possibly scream any longer. My voice box is broken. There isn't any more tears flowing out of my eye sine they are all gone.
Complete silence around me.
As I ask myself.
How something goes so wrong, yet it seems so right at first.