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Merry Christmas... My Arse!

It's a little bit early, I know, but I'm sure most of us have shared a similar experience. A little bit of fun for the upcoming festivities.
Hobos drinking by an oil-drum fire,
A sight that makes me want to barf,
Dirty fingers clutching my attire,
Merry Christmas... My arse!

Merry music from the mall's tannoy,
It's all the same old 'Lar-de-dar!'
I'm sure they play it only to annoy,
Merry Christmas... My arse!

Trying to get home on the rush hour train,
Children chanting at their ma's,
I wish she'd send them all outside to play,
Merry Christmas... My arse!

Three stops in and the drunk gets on,
And guess where he should plank his arse?
I wish he'd fuck off and leave me alone,
Merry Christmas... My arse!

Looking forward to some time off work,
I thought that it would be a lark,
But I'm surrounded by morons and jerks,
Merry Christmas... My arse!

Laden down with bags full of shit,
Not one penny left in the purse,
There'll be no larking 'cause I'm bloody skint,
Merry Christmas... My arse!

Snow is falling now, that's all I need!
I should have walked upon the grass,
The icy pavement's gone and cracked my knees,
Merry Christmas... My arse!

Tone deaf parasites rattling tins,
Singing carols 'neath the stars,
I wish they'd bugger off with their din,
Merry Christmas... My arse!

Got the family coming round to lunch,
Preparing everything's a farce,
This was never my idea of fun,
Merry Christmas... My arse!

An old man wearing a red clown suit,
Stares at me from a mantle card,
Someone sent it thinking they were cute,
Merry Christmas... My arse!

'Tis the season of goodwill they say,
But they'll never convince me of that,
'Cause I have had a really shitty day,
Merry Christmas... My arse!
By
Published: 11/19/2015
Bouquets and Brickbats