Hello guys am glad your here please enjoy the story but to understand chapter Two you have to start from chapter one thanks.
I think when I played a jealous game, he didn't like it, ever since things aren't great there is too much space between us. upon realization of his distance from me, I decided to obey I made no attempt to call or visit him at least for a week now. When he is ready to reach out he will, I believed true love should come naturally no follow-up, no pressure, no pay back.
It has been few days when I realized my clingy side isn't an issue, I think its because of my idea to give him space. Its working but it won't change how I feel about him, am more independent and less vulnerable. I busied myself in what am good at by reading my second favorite book the lee child without fail.
To the count today marked the fifth day since our last communication, the one completely initiated by him since I acted jealous, there had been no call from him till this morning he called thanking me, he thought I sent him airtime which I didn't, I decided to ask him out for dinner but he declined.
Me: Since I didn't send that airtime can I at least buy for you dinner?
Him:Is not compulsory thank you.
Me: is it a yes or No?
Him:The day is still too young besides I have a very big company will let you know.
When he rang me, my heart was at blazed I wanted to see him, huge him and kiss him but then I realized I haven't forgotten how loud his silence sounded it had to be on his own terms if the silence had to break.
I am holding on to the last word he said in the text , "will let you know ". in today's' sunlight there is so much hope in the way it shined , he might call to fulfill the promise about me buying dinner I would do anything just to see his face. It has been awhile since we met, he is a busy guy I wished I could understand that, I hope this dinner arrangement work for me otherwise I feel busted already. One thing I hate about being in love are those moment where you had to wait and assumed all is well . May be am worried over nothing, be may there is no situation between us.
Expectation!, the higher I keep mine, the higher I fall into the basement of disappointment, the dinner "sagga" didn't work out he bailed on me informing me about something he needed to work on and submit the following morning he suggested we try the following day. To be honest I have developed zero expectation in regards to us getting together, I think he is not ready for us to be out officially but he loves me I can feel it though there is some confusion in the air, I decided not to do anything but to allow love find its way to me naturally, one thing unchangeable is my deep feelings for him besides, I feel like am free from expectation that's how I wished for things to continue, life is so easy without expectation.
What do you do when your friend begin to diche you?
How are you supposed to react when he begin to talk less than he used to?
How can a heart in love handle such sudden change when the one person it wants begins to drift apart?
Surely a heart that is purely human would bug off even to the one it loved the most.
Time, he told me time will tell how consistent my feelings are for him he seems to be a man not in hurry, life is about many things and not all times in life can be utilized to handle ones' emotion.
How beautiful for a heart to love so deeply yet without any expectation that's how much I loved him. what will become of us is up to the creator not me, It takes three to own true love, me, him and God. if God be for us, one day we shall all be madly in love together forever.
In our gray hats, we shall still play as our hearts leaps, our bonding shall reflect the similarities on our faces.
I tried to be strong and I focused on one of my many blessing which is the memories we had created while together, it made me felt gracefully divine I still have too much faith in us I can't forget to thank thee for all the experience and connection, I felt touched and hopeful, there is still good in the world.
If thee willeth, things will feel normal again then the two hearts will be bonded in love and true kindness.
There isn't a simple thing....in matters regarding the heart I felt like I can't live the life of my dream with too much silence between us, in his absent I felt too much laden already on my back, it slowed my journey to where I am meant to be I am too scared to loose him even though is not mine. I can't think of my future without him, losing him will tear my world apart. My mistakes are many but all had been conceived in the process of loving him in the best way I thought was possible, I had craved him in the most childway form, I fought the need to call him or text him every night, things for me stopped being easy a moment we went all the way.
Sometimes, I think there isn't any issue here may be am just over reacting but there are moments his silence freaked me out more than I thought possible. I can't control what happens next but I can choose to be positive I believed men aren't clingy and all this thoughts might have been due to my obsession.
It turned out sometimes I assumed things and worry for nothing, its true our communication flows wasn't great, but that was mostly because he was too busy with office work and he apologies for making plans with me and not executing. Like on Friday we were supposed to go for dinner but he didn't show up, on Saturday when he called, I decided to ask if we are okay and he replied "We are more than Okay" he feels bad for not making time for us. I have nothing to worry about, except to learn an ark of patient. I have come to realization that am never patient when it comes to the most essence of my life, unless the situation is well explained to me. And when I chose to love someone, I loved with all my love.
Sometimes when you love someone, the distant between the two is not a barrier because part of that person stays with you. From the moment we defined who we are,i knew straight away where my loyalty lies, the definition came about when i asked him "who am i to you?". He said, your my girl friend.Our relationship became more profound and i knew i had a role to play, i believed i;m doing my best to be the best girl friend any man could ask for. As time passes by, my feelings for him deepens he is so charming, a good kisser and a heart keeper.He awaken the kind of feelings i never thought i had,one would concur with me that certain things can only be applicable in movies but not in real life yet one would be very wrong simply because a woman in love can do the unspeakable all for love.
This morning I woke up with a lot of thoughts about him, I knew I had to hear his voice so I called him to find out how he woke up and he was fine but he missed me that's what he said and I replied I miss you too. It was the most honest heart spoken words I really loved to hear especially how he said, it was in a magical voice and I thank God that morning for all the blessing he bestowed upon me.
I don't believe what others says about each day holding a surprise. For a Christian, all days are special and shouldn't be taken for granted, a good Christian thank God every dawn for waking up because they believed others never woke up from their sleep which makes each day special mostly for the gift of life which many of us take for granted. In my case, all days aren't the same there are other days that my blessings are so easy to recognize and count yet other days, I feel like I have none.
Most of the days are just ordinary days for me but there are few with exception which come as a surprise for me and one of those days was the day he called me at 7:47 PM, I was at home reading my book lee child without fail when my phone rang, he said am coming home what should I bring? I said nothing but yourself. His intention was just to stop at the gate but all that changed when I uncontrollably thought about kissing him even though he had company I invited them inside and chatted for about 30 minutes. It was his first time to come to my house and a surprise to me something extremely amazing came out of their visit, He felt my emotion when I whispered to him in a very sexy voice how I missed him and he asked me to go with him to his place but I thought it would be weird to tag along for the reason that his friend doesn't know the status of our friendship he knew we are just casual.
That night I slept so well but he couldn't, he was thinking about me and he couldn't sleep, he thought of coming back at my place but then I care about his safety and would not approve of his movement beyond 11:00 PM its completely dangerous where I come from to be on the road by that time. Morning came and he called to find out how I slept I told him my night was great because when he visited me surprisingly it made me so happy and I carried the happiness forward, he told me he wanted to come that morning to check on me and I told him I would be waiting for his arrival. I could imagine what I would do to him upon his arrival, it was silly and sophisticated. Shortly, he came and I comforted myself with his shoulder for about 2 minutes, in doing that I felt so blessed and that day he made love to me I was happy we were happy and we lie naked the all day it was romantic and beautiful he smell so nice.
I'm so scared of how I would live the rest of the days without missing the feeling of our lovemaking, I feel like he should make love to me more often but I also know it is not possible.
Honestly this guy gets better every day thought certain times
he disagree with me in his own honesty using his power as a man,it gets me on most of the time i like it when my man is in charge even if it annoys and fascinate me at the same time.