My New Best Friend the Razor Blade

This was written on February 8, 2010. It was right around the time that my dad was incubated on life support. I am better now than I was then.
All the pain is going away
As I cut deep to make it wash away
I never thought my life would change the way it did
When my new best friend became the razor blade.

I love to watch the blood drip down
And feel the pain that I get a rush from
The adrenaline rush goes through my body
And makes my heart go pound pound pound.

The light headed it makes me feel high as hell
I need a way to make me feel like I was when I was 2
Happy and caring it all use to be
Until the day I wanted to die.

Then it all changed
To make every body stop worrying about the way my life has become
I know I hurt a lot of people
But I don't know how else I can escape the way I feel.
I hate to talk
I hate to cry
So why not fry
In my own thoughts.

I want to say sorry to all the people who ever cared before I go end my life
Its coming soon its only a matter of time
Before the razor goes deep enough
For me to never feel the pain again
I'm sorry for everything that I've done wrong
I know most of my life I've just been a fuck up
I've hurt a lot of small minds
I can't go on living life-like mine
So this is the end just know I love you all.
Published: 11/10/2010
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