Paranoid Schizophrenic

Illusions of fear can be very real.
For as long as I remember,
You have followed me around,
I have always sensed your footsteps,
Although I never hear a sound.

You have stalked me like a bloodhound,
Always gnawing on my tail,
You probe my mind with fingers,
That read my thoughts like braille.

You surround me with your shadow,
Enshroud me in your dark,
To grope inside anxiety,
Trying to find where you lurk.

I have clawed at my sanity,
Trying to stabilize the pain,
Alas, the fear that you induce,
Is slowly driving me insane.

You've been building up the terror,
That brings madness to the sane,
I have had to cancel friendship,
And send my love life down the drain.

I have screamed to be forgiven,
I have prayed to die in peace,
I know not of what I'm guilty,
Yet for me, there's no release.

You have made me a recluse,
I am numbed of all emotions,
As my thoughts become weightless,
So lost to isolation.

When I look into my mirror,
I can almost see your form,
But the image is too nebulous,
To know exactly where you're from.

Everything around me,
Is a distorted unreality,
I am hollow, I am lifeless,
The ghost of normality.

But I know what you are now,
You're the fear that chills my spine,
To deprive of all emotions,
And paralyze the mind.

I have finally caught onto you,
After all these years,
You were only an allusion,
To all the misery and tears.

I have become depersonalized,
There's no reality anymore,
There is no love or tenderness,
Only blankets on the floor.

I am walking away from you,
I am leaving you behind,
I'll exchange you for empathy,
And flush you out of my mind.
Published: 12/4/2014
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