I never realized how quickly things could change. The change in weather from falling leaves to dancing flakes. The change in attitude, from thankfulness to greed over gifts. The change in relationships, from endless love to unspoken boundaries.
"Come on." Elliot tried to pull me from my work.
"Elliot, I just can’t tonight." I attempted to say.
"Why not? Homework again?" He snapped.
"Yes!" I exclaim.
"I understand that you have studies, Taylor. I notice you sneaking books into movies to read and the laptop to write papers in between interviews and photoshoots. I am fully supporting your education, but you can’t become obsessed with it." He crossed his arms. I glance back at my books open and on display across my desk.
"Elliot, the reason I am here is because I am an A+ student, and I’m only here on scholarship. You can’t seriously ask me to give up everything I’ve worked for to go to premiers and concerts." I breathe a lighthearted laugh at the thought.
"I’ve only ever been supportive of you. Is it so bad to want the same in return?" He practically begged.
"No," I smile, trying to not fight with him. "I just have priorities. You understand that right?"
"I’m not one of your priorities?" He asked.
"Elliot you know you are. But, I think it’s fair to say here that you’re being a tad selfish. I’m only trying to get my grades up, so I can stay in London for another semester for Libby, the guys, and most importantly, you."
"Why does Libby have none of these issues when she is dating Henry?"
"Because she can get A’s and B’s and her mother can still afford to keep her here. If I don’t maintain A’s, I don’t get my second term scholarship and you know better than anyone that my mother will not be able to keep me here." I throw back at him.
"Sorry for wanting some personal time with my girlfriend." He starts to yell.
"Maybe I shouldn’t have that label anymore, then." I shout back.
"Where is that coming from?" He asks me in anger, as if he didn’t believe me. "Don’t tell me you’re actually listening to what your Headmaster said."
"Maybe she had a point, Elliot." I feel my pulse quickening. "Who knows if we will last, but one thing that will is my education. I tried proving her wrong Elliot, I did. But, if you expect me to devote all of my time and attention to you, you are sadly mistaken."
"Now what? You’re going to spend every waking moment with your head in a book till the day you die alone with a hundred cats by your side?! You can’t live the rest of your life alone." I could tell he was furious.
"I can do anything I want to. And I don’t need a man by my side to do all of it." I finally exploded. "I have gone 18 years without a man to support me and I sure as hell can go the rest of my life doing so. I got accepted into the most prestigious school in Britain without the help of a guy and am accomplishing everything by myself." I stop to calm myself before continuing. "It’s time for you to leave. Don’t bother calling me again." I walk over and open the door. He took a few seconds to take in what just happened before looking at me.
"So this is the path you’ve chosen?"
"This is the path I have been living." I hold my poker face as he walks out.
Letting myself collapse on my bed, I consider what it’s going to be like without Elliot. However, the truth was, I never pictured it before. So, digging into my imagination, I think of all the nights I will be spending alone now.
Just like he warned me. But, I didn’t want to prove him right by crawling back to him. I wanted to prove him wrong. One thing I was very good at. I was determined to take the challenge.
So was the media.
The next morning, while brushing my hair, Libby turned on the TV to watch Good Morning London. I heard the host’s voice.
"Last night at the premier of the latest movie, Jack and Max, one of the singers from CHET, Elliot McCreed was seen flying solo on the red carpet. So, where was the singer’s other half to complete the power couple? Reps. Tell us that the two found differences and have broken off the relationship."
"Shame, really." Said the co-host. "They really were perfect together."
After that night, Libby and I stayed okay friends, but things just felt different. Especially when she would leave the dorm in an elaborate gown while I pushed my glasses up from falling and kept skimming the pages of my books.
My job took a complete turn as well. Right after the breakup, fans would come in and beg for my excuse onto why we split, but after a few days, it stopped.
"You know," my manager Landon came to help clean some mugs with me. "I’ve realized you picked up more hours and less teenage fans of boy bands have come in."
"I’d rather not talk about it." I tried to be kind in my approach.
"I’m not making you. But, if you ever want to go out for dinner or a film, I would love to take you." He attempted to ask me out.
"I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m ready yet." I told Landon.
"I get it," he smiled and nodded before walking away. As horrible as I felt about turning him away, I still couldn’t get Elliot off my mind. Which was hard, when CHET was all over the news and internet. They were doing a couple of concerts before Christmas around Europe.
I would try to force myself not to think of him, but it was a hard task. Whenever I started feeling lonely I would just start writing or reading, distracting myself. However, when I closed up the coffee shop and would be walking home in the snow, all I could imagine is how nice it would feel to have his hand in mine and talk about things involving candy canes and pine trees with the heat of hot chocolate to warm our noses while we drank.
For the last three weeks, all I can think about is where we went wrong. Where I went wrong. She was the one doing all the photoshoots, interviews, appearances and concerts for me. All she wanted in return was for me to support her in her studies. I could have helped her study, or just been there with her while she wrote her papers and notes. I could have done a lot of things. No, she made her decision and I should too. I should just move on. I can’t let her win. I can’t give in and tell her how much I miss her. I can’t, it will make me weak. But, she makes me weak. I’ve never loved anything in my life, like I’ve loved her.
"Mate," Timothy nudged me. "You’ve been staring at that cup of coffee for the last twenty minutes, making unusual faces at it." I sigh in respond.
"You can admit it." Henry encouraged.
"No, he can’t," Charlie pointed out. Everyone’s eyes turn to him. "What? It isn’t my fault that they are both stubborn."
"I am not." I snap.
"Then admit it. Admit how you were wrong and you want her back." Charlie pushed.
"I don’t." I stood up with my coffee in hand.
"Stubborn Bastard." Charlie mumbled.
"FINE!" I yelled. "You want to hear it?" I slam the coffee down on the counter. "I miss her. I want her back more than anything in the world. But, I feel like bloody trash because of the way I treated her. It’s my fault and I’ll take blame for that." My word hung in the air till Libby spoke up from Henry’s side.
"I have an idea." She smiles. We all look at her waiting for her plan of action.
Please comment! Many may be wondering why I have been MIA, well I have been traveling. And even though I just got back, I’m leaving for a little while again. Which sucks, yes, but I have many more chapters coming! I will be back soon. Don’t give up on me sweeties.