Random (2)

Just random stuff.
Tyreece Wilkinson, 28-years-old, leader of the Bloodhound Gang, was shot in Chester River, SunnyDale Town. Local police have confirmed that Wilkinson had received 9 fatal bullet wounds, 5 to the brain and 4 to the heart. The details of his death are still a mystery, however the police suspect that his murder is linked to gang rivalry.


(Instead of heaven or hell, Tyreece finds himself in a pink girly bedroom.

Lily White, aged 6, is seen sitting around a smooth, white table. She is a cute, dainty girl, wearing a pink summer dress with a matching bow on top of her blonde hair.

She's holding a teapot, pouring orange juice in plastic cups for her stuffed toys, which are placed around the table. She pauses, noticing a 6'2 black man standing at the foot of her bed, observing her in shock).

Lily: Hi Mister!

Tyreece: Uh... Hey kid. Where am I?

Lily: You're in my castle and I am Princess Lily.

Tyreece: Right... (Awkward pause) Well, I'm off!

(He heads for the door, but the little girl runs up to him, blocking his path.)

Lily: Wait!

Tyreece: (stops) Hm?

Lily: (swaying her body) Do you want to join my tea party?

Tyreece: Uh... (scratches his head) Not really, kiddo. Tea parties aren't my thing.

Lily: (pouts) But I want to play with you!

Tyreece: (hesitating) I dunno...

(Lily gives him a puppy-eyed look, until he finally caves in).

Tyreece: Well, I guess one cuppa drink won't hurt.

Lily: Yay! (smiles) Come, sit down!

(She sits at the table and gestures for him to do the same. He patiently obeys her command).

Tyreece: So...

Lily: What's your name?

Tyreece: You can call me Ty.

Lily: Like Tiger!

Treece: Do I look like Tyga?

Lily: You can be my tiger!

Tyreece: What?

Lily: Every princess has a pet tiger! He eats the bad guys.

Tyreece: (munching on a cookie) I see.

Lily: You don't look like a tiger! We have to make you look like one.

(She pulls out a make-up bag from under the table and gets out a 99c face paint kit. She points to the orange and black colors with her manicured fingers.)

Lily: Stay still, ok? I'm going to make you look beautiful!

Tyreece: (mutters) Is this some weird type of Hell?

Lily: (looks at him innocently) What did you say?

Tyreece: (sighs) Nothing.

(Lily's supermodel mother, Angela White, enters the room. People often mistake her for Lily's older sister. She is talking on the phone animatedly.

She doesn't seem to notice Tyreece, who is gawking at her cleavage. For a second, she moves her phone back and addresses her daughter.)

Angela: Lily, you have ballet today. Get ready.

Lily: Oh, but Mommy! (She gestures to Tyreece) I want to play with my friend here!

Angela: (dismissively) Yeah, yeah. You can play later. Now hurry up and get ready.

Lily: (to Tyreece) Will you come with me to ballet?

Tyreece: Don't really want to. I've got other things to do.

Lily: (cups her hands together) Pretty please?

Tyreece: (firmly) No.

Lily: (whining) But it's so boring there! And I have no one to talk to! And I want you to fight the bad guys! And-

Angela: (impatiently) What are you doing? I said hurry up! (On the phone) Yeah, I hear you, Kenji. This little brat is testing my patience.

Tyreece: Look, kiddo, I don't rate that ballet crap.

Lily: (eyes watering) But... But...

Tyreece: Oh, god... Don't cry, lil girl. I'm not good with tears...

Angela: (barks) Lily!

Lily: (softly) Please...

Tyreece: (groans in defeat) Fine... You win. I'll go with you. But don't expect me to dance.

Lily: (cheerily) Yay! This will be so much fun!

Angela: (On the phone) Ugh, Kenji. I'm telling you, this kid is crazy. She's talking to thin air.

(At that moment, Tyreece is hit with the realization that he is Lily's imaginary friend.)

Tyreece: (mutters to himself) Yep. This is my personal Hell.
Published: 1/28/2020
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