I always knew, I was not normal.
I was different from the rest.
I was born with a special gift, but I was instructed to suppress my unique ability that was beyond human control. My parents warned me that if anyone discovered my supernatural power, I would put us all in a position of danger. The government would be involved and companies would exploit us for their own benefit. Science experiments will be conducted on us to try to harness the power that we possess. We would be separated and made into military weapons against enemies. My parents conditioned these horror stories into my mind, so that I would resent and stifle my power and blend into society as a 'normal functioning boy.'
Being normal was not such an easy task. First of all, what is 'normal' to begin with? What does it even mean to be normal? How can I be normal when I struggle to understand this abstract concept?
To make matters more complicated, throughout a good portion of my life, I had never been physically attracted to anyone. Nothing and no one really stirred my emotions, even during my teenage years when my hormones should have been in turmoil. I could recognize an attractive face when I came across one, but it didn't arouse me in the slightest. I watched porn, as I was curious about the female body and the concept of sex - and even then, I quickly became bored when I realized that it was not stimulating me in any way. If anything, frankly, it disgusted me. The noises. The bodily fluids. The act itself.
I used to think there was something fundamentally wrong with me. When I confided this to my friend, he looked at me as if I were an alien, and told me that I must be gay.
Of course, I was not gay. I didn't feel anything for boys nor girls. It would've been easier if I were gay - at least I would've known what I was. This period of my life caused me immense confusion. I had to pretend that I was interested in girls to appear 'normal.' I dated several girls in the hopes that it would trigger a spark within me - that it would do something - but unfortunately, I felt nothing. I had experimented with a few boys in secrecy, and yet again, I felt nothing. It was as if I were a robot going through the motions. No emotions. No feelings. Nothing.
Maybe it was just down to my unusual biology. Perhaps, I was just a supernatural being incapable of experiencing such ordinary human things. I made peace with this and accepted that I would be like this for the rest of my life.
And then I met her.
During the first day of my university lecture, in a room buzzing with five hundred people or more, I felt quite suffocated in such a busy and constricted environment. I headed towards the double doors, wanting to step outside the lecture theater to catch my breath for a moment. Just then, the large doors swung open and a slender figure barged into me.
"I'm so sorry."
I was stunned by the natural beauty standing before me.
Her black skin was completely flawless, a stark contrast to her white flowy dress. Her hair was a million tight black cords that might either have the texture of soft yarn or cobra skin; her face was like no other. She didn't appear to be wearing any makeup, or if she was, it wasn't obvious to the naked eye. Her cool-blue eyes, the most prominent feature that would permanently imprint itself in my mind, reminded me of the winter frost. Anyone would assume she wore colored contacts or that she was mixed race but, as I later learned, she was born with those beautiful eyes due to her Waardenburg syndrome.
"I was in a rush and I didn't see you there."
Her voice was sweet like honey and smooth like butter.
Before I could finish talking, she moved swiftly past me and headed inside the theater. I caught a whiff of her scent. It was sweet and subtle, yet such a faint aroma was enough to ignite a flame within me.
What was this feeling? This feeling was so strange; it stretched throughout my whole body. It was overwhelming, yet made me feel complete. It had no bound nor length nor depth; it was just absolute. It felt as though I was in a fire, yet I was completely safe at the same time. It was as though someone had given me peace. I felt so light, like I was on top of the world, yet my heart was constricting and it felt as though there were no oxygen in my lungs.
It was a wonderful yet unnerving feeling. Something so powerful within the first thirty seconds of meeting this rare beauty. It was, in that moment, that I knew.
I knew she was the spark that I had been looking for in my life.
She was The One.
And I will stop at nothing until I make her mine.