Sing Me That Lullaby - Chapter Eighteen

The joys of Monday.
Monday. To Xavier, it was the worst day of the week. If not the worst days of his life. 30 times per year. 540 times since he was born yet he never remembered one Monday worth remembering. Unless Rainey was there, he thought stiffly. He smiled humorlessly and thought of the irony in his life. Mondays were the beginning of the school weeks he had endured since the ripe age of 4. Yet they gave him misery. There were five months left of these horrid Mondays in his high school career. And yet nothing seemed different than the first ones. With a groan, he rose from his bed and looked for clothes through his endless pile on his floor. As he was finished, he grabbed his backpack and made his way down the stairs. He heard loud noises coming from the kitchen and rushing footsteps. He cautiously walked into the kitchen and watched as his brother sat on a stool stuffing bread into his mouth. His mom was humming while reading the newspaper for the day. Weirdly enough, his dad was out of sight.

With a sigh, he walked to his mom and planted a kiss on her cheek. His mom beamed up at him patronizingly. Chase grinned his usual and kept shoveling food down his throat. With a snort, Xavier walked out of the kitchen and out his front door. Once again, the sky was darkening with his mood. In the distance, the blue sky was overpowered by the gloomy state of the clouds. He took slow steps toward his car and stared at the house in front of his. She was in there. Possibly still asleep on this cool Monday morning. He sighed deeply and ruffled his hair. Life had a cruel way of showing him how weak he was. He stepped into his car and shut the door. Dropping his keys, he bent down to find them. Jerking up, he hit his head on the wheel. Muttering a string of expletives, he sat up straight in his seat and put on his seat belt. With one more expletive said with vigor, he started his car and scowled all the way through the town. He sat in silence inside his car; the only noise was his fingers tapping on the wheel. He looked through the town and watched as left and right people walked and with smiles on their faces. It seemed as if he was the only one who was unhappy with everything.

With a huff, he kept driving toward Riverton High, avoiding and happy-looking person he saw. When had he become so bitter? It must have been the fact that he couldn't hold any relationship, whether it is a friendship, a potential love, or a family member. He knew it was just another excuse. Recently he had made more than enough excuses to cover the unsettling feelings in his heart. Was it just the worry of moving on in his life without closure? Or maybe he just didn't want to rewrite history? Ivy had run away from her past just as Xavier had begun to desire. He wanted a clean slate for his future. Sure, Rainey was important to him, more than he would ever understand in his heart. Yet he didn't see him and her ever being civil toward each other anytime soon. He wanted to forget her, make sure she wasn't on his mind going into his future. He even wanted her to forget every little detail of the friendship they had. If she forgot it all, he would eventually never see her again.

He slowly cruised into the student parking lot and watched as only few people made their way into the school. With yet another deep sigh, he shook his head. He didn't want to rewrite history. He wanted to just live the course he, Xavier Entraire, mapped out. But what was that course? He turned off the engine and sat silently for a few minutes. It was still early; his first class would start in about an hour. "What am I going to do?" He muttered to himself. Closing his eyes, he thought of all possible things he could do to become Xavier Entraire once again. He could be that easygoing guy ready for all the obstacles in the world. Not this lifeless shell of him. He owed it to himself to be that person he was once more. And if finding himself first before fixing what he had with Rainey was the way to go, he was more than ready to pull the first sign of his cheerful self out into the open.


What was she doing? What madness came about her at this moment? She couldn't possibly be walking up to him. No. Her legs were doing all the walking. Her mind was begging her legs to stop and yet cheering them on to help them go on. She was too out of sorts that she almost screamed. Almost. What was happening to her? Her eyes narrowed on him across the field and felt a sigh bubble its way from her. Finally, she paused. Her feet were glued to the ground below her. Her head shook as if shaking off the pure insanity she nearly fell upon. He looked up at her from his vantage point, sitting quietly with a book on his lap. His eyes flickered with annoyance, possibly a glint of challenge. What was the challenge? Squinting hard, she set her gaze firmly on him. She was going for it. And she knew it was the biggest risk she’d take. With a smirk, she went for the kill. Sitting up from his slouched position, he tilted his head to one side and watched as she sashayed her way to him. Soon, she stood in front of him and crossed her arms in front of her. His dark, blistering gaze set on her face.

Oh God, what did she want to say again? Did she even want to say anything? It seemed as if her body was twitching to touch him, to have him touch her. She ran her hand through her hair and slowly a lock swayed back in front of her face. She watched as his hand reached up and pushed the stray lock behind her ear. Her face was scorching as she felt the slight touch of his rough fingers against her cheek. Her pulse was racing and her breath hitched as his unnerving stare made her lose the upper hand she desperately wanted to have again. His eyes fluttered and the bad boy smirk he had going on curved at the tip of his lips. She swore she was about to be a puddle of mush. His lingering hand dropped its way back to his lap and she eyed it with desperation. His soulful eyes gave her a choice. They wanted her to take that swerve in that perpetually straight road she took. They wanted her to fall from that plane and know that her parachute was always there. Oh but why couldn't she do it?

The silence between them was more comfortable than either of them had thought. It gave them both enough time to think. Taking a deep breath, the words she wanted to say were forming on her lips. They died away quickly, a new set of words she had barely thought about lurching from her lips. "What happened to us Xavier? I thought we promised we wouldn't be like the others." She blurted. His eyes widened and amusement stretched across his face. He took her hand in his grasp and stared in wonder at his brash action. His grasp was warming her, nearly comforting. His eyes made his way to hers and his lips curved to a smile. He opened his mouth to say something but his image started to fade. No! She needed to hear his answer, his words directed toward her. She needed just to hear his deep, silky voice speaking to her, and only her. Her body was jerked from her moment and pulled back into the painful reality that it was just a dream. And by the look of it, her hopes of it ever happening were slim.
Published: 1/23/2013
Bouquets and Brickbats