"She is the one who keeps you from me!"
"I fuck around with her whenever I want!"
"It's a game. I don't love Viola!"
Their words had haunted me all day as I laid in bed with a severe headache. Their argument last night was all I could think about. I wiggled my toes beneath the covers. My head seemed to be getting better, though that was thanks to Jeffrey. He had been waiting on me hand and foot all day. He was the one who had insisted on me not going anywhere today. He said the house would be empty, Korbin was going to be at work and everyone else would be busy as well. I had no choice but to stay put; every time I tried to stand up the pain in my head forced me back down again. The left side of my face was throbbing alongside it.
I looked at the clock on my bedside table. It was now 6 pm in the evening and the house was still empty apart from me and Jeffrey. My stomach growled. I hadn't been able to eat anything all day; the splitting headache had made me want to vomit toothpaste while I tried to brush my teeth. I didn't want anymore accidents. I had called Jeffrey half an hour ago to ask him to bring me some water and some dinner. I was dehydrated due to the amount of crying I had done in the early morning, after their... Their argument.
I rolled my head over to the side, and felt my ear pop. I rolled it to the other side, the other ear popped. What was wrong with me? I shook my head and clenched my jaw. Feeling utmost discomfort.
There was a knock at the door.
"Jeffrey!" I called happily. "What did you bring me?"
The door opened and Korbin walked through it, closing it behind him. "It's me..."
I immediately sat up in bed, ignoring the pain in my head and face. "Why have you come in here?" I asked, bitterly, avoiding eye contact. I didn't even have the energy to run up to him and wrap my fingers around his neck, and squeeze very, very hard, until his face turned blue and there was blood and... No, that was too gory. There had to be a neater way.
"Jeffrey called me to tell me you've been ill all day. I left work as early as possible."
"Why did you bother?" There was a heavy awkward tension in the air that was filled with betrayal.
He walked closer to the bed and sat down at the end, and placed his hands on my feet which were under the covers. I wiggled my toes and pulled them into a cross-legged position so he couldn't reach them. I purposefully angled my head to the side so that I didn't have to look him straight in the eyes.
"I didn't like the sound of you being unwell. I came home to see how I could make you feel better..." He hesitated; I could feel his eyes on me.
"Right. Because I need to be well enough to play in your game." My pulse grew and I began to shake inwardly with anger. The sudden collapse of our romance last night due to their argument suddenly dawned on me, and I began feeling a real loss. "It's not worth you 'fucking' around with me if I already feel like shit. It's your job to make me feel like shit, remember? It's the game." I wasn't making sense, and he was silently listening to me, and I didn't care anymore. "Well isn't it true? I'm the biggest idiot alive. I've been used by you from day one, haven't I?"
"That's... Not true..." For once he seemed speechless. The crease in his eyebrow only indicated to me further that he felt like he had been caught out.
"Why are you in here again? Why did you come into my room? I doubt it was to check up on me. You wanted to see how bad you could make me feel right? How much worse you could make me feel? So what is your real intention? Tell me. How do you want to embarrass me today? How do you want to 'use' me today? Do you want me in the kitchen, at the store or on my back? Who do you want to show me up in front of? Who will watch us as you torture me some more? What different way can you take me? Korbin, just what do you want exactly?" I stopped as tears threatened to pour out. I became conscious of the fact that we were now staring into each other's eyes, I don't know when I had abandoned my no eye contact rule but it had happened and he was watching me quietly sulk through faded and sad eyes.
He stood up, and began walking closer to me. I wasn't going to move. I faced my head in the opposite direction, picking up my no eye contact rule again. He reached his arm out to me, but then stopped abruptly, and I swallowed, patiently waiting for it.
"Do it." I whispered, passionately. "Just do it."
"Do what?" He whispered back, frightened.
I looked at him. "Slap me."
His eyes widened in shock.
"Do it. Give me a good smack around the face and teach me a lesson!" I stared at him, shaking, my eyes quivered with intense anger as he watched me half explode in front of him. I pulled the top of my loose vest down, revealing my bare chest and got up on the mattress, on my knees, so I was closer to his face. I mimicked the gold digger. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself into his body, losing control of myself. "Do it. Do whatever you want. Do it. Just fucking do it. Use me, abuse me. Call me what you want, tell me what you want. Say it, say that you love me. Lie to me once again. Say it! Do it! Here I am, in front of you. I'm making it easy for you to make me your clown now, use me whichever way you want. I won't fight, I won't go against you. Because I don't care anymore, I don't care what you do because you can't hurt me more than you already have. You can't. You fucking can't! SO JUST FUCKING DO IT! DO IT! JUST FU-"
He pulled me into a violent, pungent kiss, forcing a blockage to my words. I struggled inherently for a minute or so, but then I followed through with everything I had just said. I dropped my arms and I stopped fighting against him. I was like a ragdoll in his arms as he pressed his lips to mine, I made no effort to return the kiss. Soon he realized that I had gone limp and hesitantly pulled his lips away. I remained limp. He shook his head at me, horror in his eyes, surrender in his eyes.
"I..." He whimpered as he let me flop back down on the bed. I landed face down and my wrist was in a painful position, but I felt no pain and just laid there. "I didn't want this... I didn't..."
"Mistress? Hot rice is here! I brought you a surprise takeaway! That will help you. Are you decent? May I come in Mistress?" Jeffrey's muffled, unsuspecting voice was heard and we both stopped dead.
Korbin watched me as I pulled my vest back up and pulled the covers over me.
"Mistress?" Jeffrey came in regardless of the fact that I hadn't called him in. "Are you - oh." He stopped in his tracks when he saw Korbin. "I'll come back later." He began reversing out of the door but I called for him.
"Jeffrey, it's okay. Korbin was just leaving."
"No Mistress, I couldn't, I'd feel like I've just interrupted, please continue."
"No. Korbin only came to discuss some business about our divorce. He's leaving now." I didn't even acknowledge the panicked look Korbin gave me, before he quickly walked out of the room.
Jeffrey shut the door behind him, and began setting up the food tray for me. My mind pondered over what I had just said and how my actions over the next few days would back them up. Korbin had willingly and openly admitted last night that he didn't love me. That's all I needed to hear. His words flashed before my eyes.
"I'm having her leave as soon as possible!"
I took a spoonful of rice. Don't worry Korbin. I'll make it easy for you.