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The Last Letter - Chapter 1

Shattered hopes and broken hearts.
New York, a year ago

"Come on Emma you can't just stay here in your room like this, you are coming to the wedding with us." Natalie said as she struggled to pull me up from my bed.

"I have already told you, I am NOT going to the wedding and that's clear on my part. Now don't you try to convince me because it's not gonna work Nat." I said as I stood up from the bed and went into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.

"I just don't get it Emma! Why are you not attending Josh's wedding? He's your best friend... you are his best friend."

"I was his best friend until he decided to keep his life 'private'." I said as I took a sip of water and gulped down my anger with it.

"Fine. You want to be upset with him for not letting you know any sooner that he is getting married or for not making you a part of all the preparations or for marrying someone else and not you? You have all the rights but don't forget that he's never gonna forgive you for not attending his wedding, he would have expected you to be a little less selfish on his big day." And with that Natalie left the apartment but her words didn't. They hung on in the cold air tearing through every piece of my heart and give me the final push. It broke down all the charade that I was pulling of being fine and that I don't care if Josh is getting married to someone else and a stream of tears started falling down from eyes and I was so numb that I couldn't feel them on my cheeks or use my hands to wipe them out. I just stood there in the kitchen with a glass of water in my hand and let the tears fall down and let out each and every emotion that was left inside of me.

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I didn't know when I fell asleep or when Natalie and Rose returned home and got into their beds. The previous day was like a blur to me, not because I was drunk but because I was so shattered that I didn't want to remember anything that happened the previous day.

"Hey Emma?" Rose stood beside my bed and looked down at me with eyes full of sadness. I looked at them for a while and wondered if everyone is going to look at me this way from now on, is everyone going to pity me?

"Hey Rose.. I am sorry I slept and didn't notice when you guys came back." I said trying to clear the tension in the air.

"It is okay Em, I know what a hard day it was for you. I wasn't expecting you to be up anyway, in-fact I was glad that you fell asleep." She said as she sat down on the bed.

"You were glad that I fell asleep?"

"Yes." Rose took my hands in hers and said, "Em, I know you loved Josh a lot and it was very difficult for you to finally accept that he was marrying someone else. Nat told me all about yesterday, I think it was fair enough on your side that you didn't want to come for the wedding and trust me Nat was really guilty for being so harsh on you. She was so worried about you the whole time we were there. Please don't be mad at her."

"I am not mad at her Rose. I am just mad at myself, for acting so stupid. I should have listened to Nat. God! Josh would be so mad at me right now." I said with a little tone of laughter in my voice.

Rose didn't reply to that and my the sound of laughter in my voice faded away as fast as it had appeared. I looked at her face and her eyes, which we were no longer looking at me. It made my stomach clench and my heart sink for I know what she was about to say next.

"Emma, I.. Josh..." she hesitated.

"Josh didn't ask about me right?" And I completed the sentence for her and ripped off the band aid.

"I guess he was too busy or too nervous or maybe he was angry at you for not showing up and that is why he didn't ask anyone about you, but Emma I know when he'll see you, he'll be really glad and he won't be angry at you."

"Really Rose? You still think I am going to go and see him? That man didn't even care to ask why I wasn't there." I stood up from the bed and started pacing on the floor to calm down my anger.

"Maybe he was just angry at you like you were with him."

"Maybe?"

Rose didn't have any reply for that and she just lowered her eyes and left my room without another word and this made it very clear that what I thought was right, Josh didn't care if I were there or not.

The rest of the day I pretended to act normal and mended things with Rose and Natalie. The girls tried to cheer me up by ordering ice cream and having a movie marathon of my favorite movies. I pretended to act normal, act as if this movie and ice cream was cheering me up but in reality every part of it was killing me. Every movie reminded me of Josh because these movies weren't just my favorite, they were his favorite too. All these movies reminded me of the time that I spent with Josh, the ice cream reminded me of him, of the summers and us-me and josh! And I hated it. I hated how Josh left me with so many memories that from now on each and everything that I was going to do was to remind me of how we did it together. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life anymore, for I have spent 16 years of my life with him and I didn't know how many years it would take to undo them all.

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*To the Readers*

Hey guys! How is the story going so far? Constructive criticism and appraisals welcomed.

*Replies*

@anonymous - Thanks for the feedback. Do keep reading and giving me the much-needed feedback.
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Published: 6/27/2018
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