A month passed by since Josh's wedding and we still haven't seen or talked to each other. Well it seems pretty fair to me that Josh doesn't want to talk to me because I wasn't there in his wedding and it is also fair for me to be still upset with him. I mean yes, I didn't show up at my best friend's wedding but that best friend didn't even care to ask anyone about me nor did he call me personally. He could have texted me at-least! And so it is fair..its all fair for me to be so furious at him.
I don't know what compelled me to sit in front of the mirror that day but I did. I wasn't one of those girls who would sit in front of the mirror you know and admire themselves. Maybe I never considered myself too beautiful, I mean I didn't look that bad at least Josh would keep telling me that. "You aren't gorgeous but you're amazing to look at." That's what Josh would tell me and I never really understood what he mean to be honest.
Anyways so on this odd day for the first time in my life I sat in front of the mirror and looked at myself like literally 'looked' at myself for more than 15 minutes. I stared at my reflection and wondered if anything has changed in my appearance in this entire month that I spent without talking to Josh at all. I looked but I found nothing!
I still had the same green eyes, same red hair which were obviously a bit longer now, same pale skin with little freckles around my nose and the same me at least physically. I wondered if Josh still looked the same with his brown hair and blue eyes. If he still shaved every morning or did he grow a beard trying to look a bit mature since his was married now. I wondered if he still went to gym everyday because he was really a fitness freak or has he given up because of all the responsibilities that come with the marriage.
The more I thought about him the more I wondered how much a month can change a person, I know it might not have a great effect on how a person looks but a month can change a lot when it comes to relationships. At least that's what a month did to mine and Josh's relationship. Just a month apart and Josh fell in love with Regina and decided to marry her. A month and he realized that he can easily live without me, his best friend but not Regina. A month and he started liking her blue eyes more than my green eyes, her blonde hair more than red hair and her seriousness more than my humor and sarcasm. A month and he got over the 16 years he spent with me.
I closed my eyes and inhaled as I tried to remember how I first met Josh. We had recently shifted to New York, I was 8 years old and was trying to adjust when I met this boy at the park who decided to introduce himself to me rather than just staring at me like the other kids. How glad I was when I came to know that this kid from the park was also my classmate and how he became my very first friend in school. As a matter of fact it was Josh who first introduced me to Natalie as 'the girl who doesn't share her food' and Rose as 'the girl who's the prettiest' and Nick as 'Rose's brother and Josh's best mate' that's how I got to know them all. It was Josh who introduced me to all these people who became my closest friend in the next 16 years and at that time I didn't know that the same person who introduced me to them all and welcome me in this group would be the first one to leave me like this. I let out a small laugh as I finally walked away from the mirror and started to take out some clothes form my wardrobe to wear to work the next day but my thoughts still kept wandering back to Josh and I literally had no idea how to stop them.
"EM! Dinner's ready." Rose called from the living room.
I left the clothes at the bed and headed towards the dinning table. Though I was not much for eating today but Rose was a wonderful cook and as soon as I entered the living room my entire senses were filled with the aroma of the delicious food that she had cooked and I couldn't resist grabbing a bite or two or maybe more!
"So how was your day." Nat asked me as she sat down on the table and grabbed a plate for herself.
"The same old lazy Sunday. How about you?" I asked as I grabbed a bite.
"Well, I went out with Danielle and we saw a movie and I refused to go to dinner because I wasn't feeling hungry then, so I came back home." Danielle was Nat's boyfriend. They have been dating each other for 6 months now and Nat's really happy with him but she since Josh's wedding she doesn't talk about him anymore which I understand.
"What about you Rose?" I asked to break the silence that followed.
"I went to see Nick, he's back in the city for his next project and he called me over for lunch. Well me and Ron actually." She lowered her voice as she spoke the last sentence as if she didn't want me to hear that. This was becuase Ron was Rose's boyfriend and apparently the girls had decided that they won't discuss their love life in front of me.
"You know what guys?" I spoke rather abruptly as the last thread of patience holding me back broke and both Rose and Nat sat straight up looking at me and embraced themselves for they knew what was coming up, "I want to clear it for once and for all that you both don't need to pity me! You don't need to avoid talking about Danielle when I am around and You.." I pointed a finger at Rose, "don't need to lower your voice when you speak about Ron. I get it that you two have much loving boyfriends and you are happy with them so why do you want to hide it from me? Do you think that Danielle and Ron are going to remind me of Josh? Well no!." I stood up from the table and starting pacing around. "Dan and Ron aren't going to remind me of Josh anymore because they are not him, they are much much better than him and Josh has got nothing good as compared to them. So NO, they don't remind me of Josh and your conversations about your love lives don't make me uncomfortable. So from now on stop this pity party and let's act normal. Am I clear?" I paused as I faced them and waited for their answers.
"Yes." They said in unison.
I gave them a smile and then went into my room and started sorting out my clothes for work again. I guess this entire dinner conversation just gave a new meaning to my life. I was done sobbing for Josh, done thinking about him, done thinking what might have been. Now I was just focused on what I can make out of my life from here on and I knew I wasn't going to waste it on Josh anymore, he wasn't worth it.
I finalized my clothes for the next day and then I had an idea. I quickly went into the living room where Rose and Nat sat talking about something but they stopped as soon as they saw me there.
"Umm..Rose?" I started.
" Yeah." she replied as she looked at Nat giving her a worried look.
"You said Nick is in town right?"
"Yeah..yeah he is!"
"I was thinking why don't you call him over for lunch this weekend? I'll cook and I was thinking you should also call Ron and Dan along and if-if Nick is also having someone with him he should bring her along too. Its been a long time I think its time for me to catch up with everyone."
"I think that is a nice idea." Nat agreed.
"Well it is a nice idea but Nick already has plans this weekend, how about next weekend. Nick's here for 2 months I am sure we can wait another week right?" Rose asked.
"Alright but what's his plans, I mean are they really that important?" I asked.
Rose didn't say anything but just looked down and then I realized the reason for her silence.
"Or is he meeting Josh?" I said it myself.
Rose looked up at me and blinked a few times. She was clearly taken aback. " Yes! He's meeting Josh. He is back from his honeymoon and he has invited Nick over to stay for this weekend." She said.
"I get that. Well I guess I'll have to wait then." I sighed and then turned around to go back to my room but then, I don't know what happened but I turned around and said, " I won't mind if you are going over to Josh's place Rose. I never asked you guys to choose sides and never will." And with that I got back to my room and sat silent for a while.
I guess I was changing, I guess it doesn't really take 16 years to get over a 16 year old relationship sometimes a month or to be precise,a moment, can also be enough. I smiled to myself as I realized that I had found that moment for myself but sadly I didn't know then that I was so wrong about myself. Sometimes a peace found in a moment can be lost in a moment too.
@lin - Thanks and keep loving the story.
@butterfly - Keep up the curiosity this story is full of twists and turns.
@anonymous - Thanks and do keep commenting.
@amit - so how about this chapter? Is it up to the expectations.