"I know this letter would comes as a surprise to you. After all that happened last summer, even I am surprised that I am writing you this letter.
To be honest I couldn't resist explaining you all the reasons for all the things that I did last summer. I know none of my explanation can ever change the fact that what I did was wrong but at least I wouldn't be carrying this burden on me, the burden of never letting you know! So, I finally decided to write you a letter and just put everything in black and white. At first I thought I'll call you but I didn't have the courage to talk to you, by messaging you I couldn't risk facing your reply and that's why I decided to write a letter cause this way you won't be able to reply to me ever because I have moved out of New York.
So with all the courage I am finally letting out why I did what I did.."
A knock on the door interrupted me and I stood up from the chair and went to open the door. I wasn't surprised when I saw Natalie standing at the door after all she was the only friend that I had anymore.
"Hey Nat! What are you doing here?" I asked as she entered in my room.
"Well, just because am not your roommate anymore doesn't mean I can't come to see you occasionally or is it ?" Nat replied rather sarcastically.
"No, it's not what I meant.. umm.. you need anything coffee, tea?"
"Sparkling water would be fine."
"Okay, I'll be right back." I turned around and went inside the kitchen to get her some sparkling water. I poured her a glass and came out of the kitchen into the room where I saw Natalie standing near my study table and reading the letter that I was writing for Josh.
"Shit! Nat, you weren't supposed to read that." I said as I snatched the paper away from her spilling some of the sparkling water on the floor.
"But thank god I read that Emma!" She shouted back at me. "What the hell do you think you are doing? Why are you even trying to communicate with Josh anymore.. even after all that happened?"
"In case you haven't read the letter completely I have no intention of 'communicating' with him. This letter would be my last message to him."
"But why? Why do you even need to send him a last message?"
"Because I need to tell him why I did what I did. I need to give him my reasons.. I just can't live with the burden of 'what if he knew' anymore, this time I want him to know and end it forever."
"End it? Are you kidding me.. do you ever think you can end it Emma? Because honestly what I saw last summer I don't think you can ever end it!"
With that Natalie left my apartment. I didn't have the courage to see her walk away and to turn around and try to stop her only to see her slamming the door at my face, so I just let her slam the door to my back. I just stood there with the letter in my hand and tears in my eyes. I know what happened last summer has changed our lives forever but I can't just stay here in this room forever with the guilt I had to let Josh know and I was ready to bear the consequences of what was to come ahead.
*To the readers*
For all those who have read this chapter, your comments (good or bad) would be highly appreciated. Plus, I always reply, so feel free to post any questions regarding the story as well.