Welcome back! 'The Ramblings of a Seventeen-Year-Old' will focus on different aspects of life: Love, Future, Friends, Relationships, and everything else, in the perspective of 17-year-old Tracy.
Each category will have their own part. The first chapter was focused on love, the second chapter (this one) will be focusing on Future. All the categories will be revisited again, hence the number on the title. So, without further interruptions, Read on!
Volume Two: Future
I was watching a cat.
Unlike the other furry fat friends whose mere desires are the comfort of an armchair or a leather couch, this cat was outside. Its furry white tail flew left and right as it walked around the middle of my family's garden.
This wasn't even our cat.
I could imagine its owner looking for it right now, going bonkers when he or she couldn't find her furry white feline standing on the doorway as it always did. This cat was not sitting inside the four enclosed walls as others cats would do. This cat was outside, venturing the unknown.
From inside the house, I saw it walk around the greenery, looking at each and every flower its little buggy eyes could see. The cat was happy. It probably won't be content by just going outside today.
This cat would probably come outside again tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that.
Freedom. Contentment. Future.
The cat bit was not something I planned to write about, as you could tell - I wanted to talk about the ugly, undesirable word that scares the bejesus out of every senior high school student, one week before graduation. But the cat was something else, I guess. Okay, let's stop talking about the cat. I'm a dog person anyway.
Two days ago, I was sitting inside my Physics class. It was free time, as the teacher decided we were finally done with the course earlier than expected. We had a week left of school, but she decided not to do anything for now.
Across from me was a girl named Julia. Julia was the 'promised one' - the girl in your comic book who holds the key that can save the entire world, she was the girl people so desperately wanted to hate but couldn't. She was the main character of every main character. Julia was good in everything - academically, socially and even in sports. The girl wasn't a goody-goody either. I was quite surprised when she argued with a teacher one time for being unfair to another classmate. The girl had balls, and everyone knew. She could even crack jokes too, though her puns weren't that good. We laughed anyway.
Well, that day, bored as I was I called her name out. She looked at me with her long black hair and her circular glasses. "Yes, Tracy?"
I thought for a moment what I wanted to ask. I really hadn't planned well. So I winged it.
"Julia, what are you taking... after you know... high school?"
She looked at me with that smile that she shows to everyone. Without any awkward pauses or hesitation, she answered me. "I'm thinking of getting my Bachelor in Biochemical Science then... I want to be a Biology teacher."
Afterwards the bell rang, and I walked my way to the familiar lunch table where I met all my friends. I arrived first, and none of them had made their way yet. So I spent the time thinking.
"A Biology teacher?" I thought. "What the hell?"
When she first mentioned that she would get her foot in Biochemical Science, I thought this girl wanted to be in the field of becoming a scientist. And it could have been actually possible if it was her. The girl got the brains for it.
But a teacher?
How many times in your life had a teacher whined about their salary? It could have been a slip-up, or a motivational speech about aiming higher, but either way a teacher's salary wasn't something people would aim for.
And that girl - version of Einstein wanted to be a measly teacher. She could have been Einstein.
But what I'll never forget in our conversation is when she decided to bring the question back to me.
"Tracy, what about you? Where are you going?"
A silent gurgle, then finally some words.
"I... I actually don't know yet."
I felt low, I guess. Actually, I already had everything planned out myself. I've already been accepted for an Electrical Engineering Course at an amazing college known for their alumni who graduated and had been racking up money since then.
But why could I tell her?
Is it because I felt a sense of guilt that someone like me planned to be a big shot Engineer, while a girl in her level chose to be a public civil servant?
"The girl had amazing potential!" I thought. Being a teacher could have been good, but I thought she would aim higher. Much, much higher.
Then it hit me.
The girl never had pride in her. She had passion... Passion.
The passion to teach others. The passion to allow someone else to grow.
That was her future - to become one hell of an amazing teacher that will push her students to realize their own potentials.
What about me?
I only wanted to be in that career because my father was one. And he wanted me to become one.
So I will be one.
That was it. Or so I thought.
Something came over me after that conversation. I never actually wanted to be an Engineer. I loved hands-on work, the Physics and the Math were something I was alright with. But there was something else I wanted much more.
Take a guess.
Yep. That's right.
It was writing. It was talking. It was communicating.
It was Journalism.
All along I've used my vocal cords to fight for what I thought was right. Debates were something I've loved dearly, and writing? Writing brought me to a whole dimension. A different reality. Another Life.
It was also writing that taught the world everything.
Journalism was my main goal all along. I knew, partially, that I had potential in the area. But I was scared... Scared to let my father down. He was quite known in the field, and although he had four daughters, I was the one he thought had potential.
I cannot lie when I say I did have quite a brain, but I wanted to use it for something else.
Afterwards I had a long talk with the two big shots - my parents. Of course they were hesitant, but they probably knew as well.
So there it was - my own future. I decided to leave the year off after high school, as I was too late to apply for Journalism at the University. I didn't mind though. I do not think I could bear sitting alongside people who aspired to be engineers. I despise to be the odd one out.
So I want to be a journalist. It would be a four-year course, five years including the year off. But I'll do it. I know I can.
I realized that there was no point in beating around the bush when it comes to the future. You have to decide on it with your own hands. Expect hardships and failure, but as well know... there is no easy way to success. To fulfillment. To contentment and self-desire.
If I could only repeat my conversation with Julia, here is what I will say.
"Julia, you know what I want to be? A journalist. I want to be a journalist."