Well, That Happened (1): Best Buds

I've been uploading a lot of dark stuff lately, so I wanted to lighten up the mood with a silly story.
(Nathan and Tom are best friends and neighbors for ten years. People often mistake them for brothers with their brown hair and blue eyes. Except Nathan is slightly taller, and Tom is more built.

They're hanging out in the park, when suddenly, Nathan punches himself.)

Tom: (confused) Why did you do that?

Nathan: I wanted to see if it would hurt.

Tom: And...

Nathan: And what?

Tom: Does it?

Nathan: Does it what?

Tom: (frustrated) Does it hurt?

Nathan: Yes.

Tom: (sarcastically) Well, there's a surprise.

Nathan: Does that make me strong or weak?

(Tom thinks about his question for a moment.)

Tom: It makes you stupid.


(Tom is cuddling his girlfriend, Amanda. She's cute with her sandy hair, brown eyes and petite figure. Tears stream down her face from watching a sad movie.)

Tom: Hey, are you okay?

Amanda: Yeah, sorry... I didn't mean to get so emotional.

(She wipes away her tears with her sleeves.)

Tom: Don't worry about it (cupping her chin) You're so beautiful when you cry.

(His comment makes Amanda blush. Meanwhile, next to him, Nathan wails his head off as snot dribbles down his nose.)

Nathan: (sobbing hideously) Am I beautiful yet?

Tom: (bluntly) No.


Nathan: Close your eyes.

Tom: (suspicious) Why?

Nathan: Just do it.

Tom: Are you gonna do something weird?

(Nathan is bouncing in his seat impatiently.)

Nathan: Just close your eyes!

Tom: (hesitantly) Alright...

(He closes his eyes.)

Nathan: What do you see?

Tom: Nothing. It's dark.

Nathan: That's my world without you, bro.

(Tom shakes his head, chuckling.)

Tom: Man, go fucketh thyself.


(In a quiet neighborhood in a West London street, Nathan notices a small, worn-down house with shattered windows. He points to the building.)

Nathan: Let's go to that abandoned house.

Tom: Are you crazy?

Nathan: Come on! It'll be fun to explore.

Tom: Hell, no. We've got no idea what's in there.

Amanda: (scared) What if we find people in there? Or ghosts...

(Tom wraps a protective arm around her.)

Tom: I won't let anyone or anything hurt you.

Nathan: What about me?

Tom: (rolls his eyes) You're the one who wants to go in there. You can defend yourself.

(Nathan pouts, clearly disheartened.)

Amanda: Aww, no. He's your best friend. You'll protect him too, right?

(She gives Tom a puppy-eyed look.)

Tom: (sighing) Yes. I'll die fighting for you both.

Nathan: (cheering) Yay!

(Tom glares at him.)


(They enter the supposedly abandoned house. It is dark inside and it smells musty. The furniture is dusty and old, looking as if it would crumble to dust at a touch. Mold ate away at the walls and flooring, while cobwebs decorate the place.)

Tom: I've got a bad feeling in my stomach...

Nathan: Me too. It must be that burger we had for lunch.

Amanda: (shuddering) Ew, this place stinks! And there are flies everywhere! I instantly regret this.

Nathan: Did you know maggots turn into flies?

Amanda: (surprised) What, seriously? I never knew that.

Nathan: Yeah, so, if you think about it... there are flying maggots all around us.

Amanda: Eww! That's gross.

Tom: (whispers) Shh, guys! Someone might hear us.

Nathan: Do you think a fly would've been called 'land'?

Amanda: No... why?

Nathan: Because it's the name of their other function.

Tom: (snaps) Just shut up about the damn flies!

Nathan: Alright, let's talk about moths instead.

(Tom clicks his tongue in annoyance.)

Amanda: (anxiously) Guys, I can hear something! It sounds like it's coming from upstairs.

(Nathan pushes Tom towards the stairs.)

Nathan: Have fun up there. Let us know if you find anything interesting.

Tom: (startled) What? Why me?!
Published: 11/12/2018
Bouquets and Brickbats