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What If: Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight.
WONKA F, the necklace is actually going to be coming up soon ha..ha, great minds think alike. I'll let you read to see how things work out, but i hope you don't get too disappointed and not like the story... enjoy though and thanks for commenting!!

A devoted reader - awww thanks so much!! :D

Milena aww thanks, and yeah, i was so glad to be able to talk to her again, and yes her new boyfriend is "Alex" and they are adorably cute together :D that's so cool! I've been able to keep in touch with so many people who I wouldn't be able to otherwise with Facebook.
Oh really? That's so cool! ha..ha how old is your sister? (if you don't mind me asking)

Jasmine, no, he didn't. i added that part in just for the sake of making the story interesting, since i felt it was getting slightly boring.

Chapter Eight:
Noelle's POV

We got home and I kissed Alex goodnight before going into the building and going straight to my room. I shut my door and changed into my blue plaid pajama shorts and a white tank top. I curled up on the bed, my chest aching. I closed my eyes and let the tears seep out as I silently cried.

Flickers of what Jared said to me ran through my head. "Can we talk?" "I'm sorry." "You didn't deserve that." And I cried harder, wishing things weren't so complicated. I sniffed and took a shuddering breath which only made me cry harder. "I wish I hadn't...... I hope you're happy." "I'm sorry I cheated on you."

I screamed into my pillow and sat up, chucking the pillow at the wall. I got up and took a small box out from under my bed. In it was everything I'd had from Jared. I lifted the lid off the box and pulled out the first thing that caught my eye. It was small silver heart necklace and on the back, it was engraved Noelle and Jared.

I held it in my hand, clenching my fist around it as more tears came to my eyes. I tossed it to the ground and pulled out the other things. There were a few cards, little notes he'd written me and ticket stubs to movies we'd seen and things we'd done. There were pictures and I pulled one out. Jared was hugging me from behind, his arms wrapped around my waist and we were both laughing. We'd gone to the mall that day.

With Mercy and Derek... I sighed and put the picture back and shoved the box under the bed. I searched around the floor for the necklace and picked it up when I found it. I held it one hand, staring down at it until my sight was blurry with tears. I set it on my nightstand table and laid back, resting my head on one of my other pillows since I'd thrown my favorite one.

I heard a knock on my door and I sat up. "Who is it?"

"It's Carl."

"Come on in." I said, wiping my eyes and sitting up slightly. Carl walked in, looking concerned. "Are you alright, Noelle?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." I told him, but my voice cracked and my eyes watered. He sat down beside me and wrapped his arms around me. I laid my head on his chest, crying. He rubbed my back, and stayed silent, just letting me cry. "I'm sorry." I whispered after a few minutes. "I'm getting tears all over your shirt." I sat up and he smiled.

"It's okay. I don't mind." He chuckled lightly and I smiled. "So, would you want to tell me what's got my sister all worked up?"

I bit my bottom lip. "I dunno... Jared talked to me."

"Jared... the one that cheated on you?" His eyes narrowed when I nodded. "Why was he talking to you?"

"He told me he was sorry. And that he knows I didn't deserve what he did to me." I sighed. "And now... I almost want to forgive him." I looked over at the necklace on the nightstand table and sighed again. "I don't know what to do Carl. I don't know what to do."

"I wish I knew what to say Noelle." He hugged me. "I'm sure you'll do what's best for you."

"Thanks Carl." I hugged him back.

"I think you should get some sleep. You look exhausted."

"Alright. G'night." I said as he stood up. I curled into a ball as he left the room, shutting my door quietly behind him.

"Goodnight sis." He said as the door shut. I got up and grabbed my pillow before snuggling onto my bed again, wishing I knew what to do. I looked up at my wall to see a picture of me and Alex and I couldn't help but think of the picture of me and Jared that I'd just looked at.

Some of the lyrics from Avril Lavigne's 'My Happy Ending' ran through my head, only adding to my sadness and confusion.

'So much for my happy ending
Oh.. oh, oh.. oh, oh.. oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh.. oh, oh.. oh, oh.. oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the stuff that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh.. oh, oh.. oh, oh.. oh...

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh.. oh, oh.. oh, oh.. oh...

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh.. oh, oh.. oh, oh.. oh...
Oh.. oh, oh.. oh, oh.. oh...
So much for my happy ending
Oh.. oh, oh.. oh, oh.. oh...
Oh.. oh, oh.. oh, oh.. oh...
So much for my happy ending
Oh.. oh, oh.. oh, oh.. oh...'

I got up, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep and walked over to the window. I grabbed a pair of sandals and slid them on. I opened the window and climbed out onto the fire escape, quietly, shutting the window behind me. I slowly climbed down it and closed my eyes at the bottom and jumped because it didn't reach all the way up.

I landed on the pavement and scraped my hands up a little but I dusted myself off and walked down the road aimlessly heading where my feet would take me. I stared down at the ground the entire time, and when I looked up, I found myself in the middle of the playground. I walked over to one of the swings and sat on it, closing my eyes, and breathing in deeply.

I heard someone behind me and I turned to see Jared, sitting on the bottom of a huge slide. "Noelle?" He said, sounding shocked.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, standing up and walking over to him. I sat down on the slide beside him.

"I didn't feel like going home yet. I was thinking I guess." He sounded dejected and I leaned back, against the slide. "Why are you here? It's quite late, and you're in your pajamas."

"I couldn't sleep." I told him, looking down at my shorts and tank top.

"Oh. That sucks." He replied. I nodded and looked over at him. He was staring down at the ground, looking depressed. "I really am sorry." He said, suddenly. "Noelle, I really am. And I miss you. A lot." His eyes looked slightly red, like he'd been holding back tears.

I looked up at the sky, the sparkling stars. "Jared... I almost want to forgive you. Because I can't stop thinking about you. Because you showed up at the party tonight, when I got home, I looked at some of the stuff from when we were together. Pictures and cards..." I trailed off and sighed.

"Noelle I wish I could go back in time and not do the stuff I did."

"But you can't."

"Does being sorry count for anything?" He looked at me, and took my hand in his, his eyes pleading. I closed my eyes and turned my head, trying to sort my scattered thoughts.

"I don't know. Jared, I just don't know. You say you're sorry... but why'd you do it in the first place?" I stood up, pulling my hand from his and walking over to the sandbox and sat on the edge of it.

"I don't know. I just did it. I was high... and I know that's no excuse because I shouldn't have got high in the first place." I heard him stand up and walk over, standing next to where I was sitting. "I made a mistake. The biggest mistake I'll ever make in my entire life."

I was silent, staring at the sand in the box, trying to know what to say. "It doesn't matter if it was a mistake or not. You still did it. And that's what matters, Jared." I said finally and he sat down beside me.

"I know." He turned my face to look into his. "And that's why I'm sorry. I am so, so, sorry."

I could see it in his eyes, that he was really sorry. I stood up, pulling away from him. "Jared, don't do this to me." I didn't realize I was crying until my voice broke. "I know you're sorry. I can see it in your eyes. But it doesn't matter. Even if I forgive you, because I'm with Alex now. And I... I love him."

"You don't sound so sure of that." He said, standing up and taking a step towards me.

"I am. I love him. He's everything I need."

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself that you love him. Are you sure that you do?" He took another step towards me and I backed away. "Noelle, please, I need to know. Could you give me a second chance?"

"Jared don't." I closed my eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath. "I do love him."

"You loved me once." He reminded me and I nodded.

"I know. But you ruined that." I took another breath and sobbed. "I'm gonna go now."

"I'm sorry I made you cry Noelle." Jared told me as I turned to leave.

"I know." I replied, without turning to face him. "I have a lot of thinking to do. I'll talk to you sometime, maybe." I walked away, leaving him standing alone as tears poured down my face in torrents. I walked back towards the apartment and carefully climbed up the fire escape.

I opened my window and climbed in, shutting the window behind me. I kicked my sandals off and crawled into bed, still crying and fell asleep.

What do you think guys?? Alex or Jared?? Take the poll and comment!!!
What do you think??
Alex
Jared
Neither
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Published: 3/10/2011
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