You Were Never My Mother

Retelling of that night.
That was the night I died,
The night you made that phone call,
Left me stranded with nothing,
Walked out of my father's life forever...

The night I sat on the front steps in the rain,
Crying your name,
Waiting for you to return.

The night I saw headlights piercing the darkness,
And hope you' returned,
Flooding through my chest,
And rushing through my senses,
Only to be crushed further into the nothingness,
When you'd sent someone instead to take me away.

The night I found out I was an illegitimate child,
And neither of you actually wanted me in your lives,
The night you left me homeless,
Cold and crying in the care of some stranger,
With nothing to my name.

The night you stripped away everything I stood for,
All of my happiness in the space of a minute,
My innocence and childish trust,
And left me for dead; unwanted,
Unintended and useless.

The night you stole my childhood,
And everything I believed in,
That was the night I died,
After that night,
I became nothing,
Simply a shell of my former self.

Tonight, as my blood ran over,
And under my skin,
As numbness returned to my body,
My limbs became heavy,
With the promise of eternal sleep.

As my eyes fluttered shut,
My breath grew still,
As my skin turned cold and white,
Patterned with a new scar for every day,
You never called.

Tonight is the first night in sixteen years,
As my dark red life slips gently,
Between my hands that I live.
Published: 2/15/2013
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