Brunette that hates blondes

What do you get when a blonde-hating brunette is stranded in a desert and finds a genie's lamp?
There was once an archeologist brunette that really hated blondes. She lived in Phoenix, and upon going for her daily walk in the desert, found she had gotten herself lost.

This was a resourceful brunette, and she survived for several weeks in the middle of the desert, eating cactus, catching rattlers with her bare hands, and cooking them over a fire she's make by rubbing her hair pins together.

One day, after chasing a lizard around all morning, she looked up and saw a street. She was afraid it was a mirage. When the brunette stepped forward to go to the street, she tripped on a lamp. It looked ancient, so she rubbed the dirt off of it to get a better look.

POOF! Out came a genie.

"Lady, thank you for freeing me. By genie law, I have to give you three wishes before I can wreak havoc on the world again. What would you like?"

"Well, I've always wanted-" The brunette had just thought of what she wanted, when the genie interrupted her.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention-- I'll give you anything you want, but whatever you ask for, three blondes in the world will get double that.

Now, this brunette may have been educated, but she could never get over her dislike for blondes. Especially fake blondes. "Well, I'd like a couple million bucks to make my life easier."

"You got it." The genie waived his arms around and a green puff of smoke came billowing out of his gown. The brunette looked down and saw two well-stocked luggage carts full of money.

The genie wasn't done yet. He let out three more puffs of green smoke, all twice as big as the puff he let out for her.

The brunette cringed. "Now, three blondes have four million dollars a piece." The genie folded his arms and waited for the brunette's next choice.

Next, the brunette asked for a hansdsome, kind, generous, loving man to share her life with (or to at least have great sex).

The genie waived his arms, and a puff of pink smoke appeared. When the smoke had gone, a gorgeous man stood before them. Three more puffs of smoke, each twice as big as the first one, reminded the brunette that three blondes were getting twice the man she got.

Finally, the genie asked the brunette for her third wish.

She thought it over for a minute, then replied, "See that rock over there? I want you to beat me half to death with it".
Published: 12/20/2000
Bouquets and Brickbats | What Others Said